Thursday, May 24, 2007

I'll miss this place...

`April 19, 2007: This morning I was late for school because I had to wait for the burglar in the apartment downstairs from me to stop doing whatever they were doing and come out.
` I'm just enjoying this class period in the Paperclip room because I've already done all the work I've needed to get done in Journalism class. Currently I'm watching Toga Guy's friend juggle flashing balls, and one bounced into a girl's purse! Oh, here comes a person I know... time for socialization.

` May 07: Turns out that the burglar was our crazy neighbor lady who broke in the guy's apartment - the one who said they were going to get married 'next weekend' about three months ago. It also turns out that said bitch plus baseball bat is also what has happened to my taillight. (She also stole our doormat for some reason.)
` To show you the full extent of the damage to my car, here's a photo of my Chevy Burgundy Rectangle (see satellite photo) while Lou and I were making our last escape from Wonkyfoot... Hey, is that the creature itself in the background? Could have sworn I've seen it before....

` Eh, nah... just a tree stump. Anyway... here's my headlight (which has been broken since last February) after I had pulled the tape off to replace it with new tape. (It reminds me that I shouldn't play with glue.)

` Now, here's a little 'accident' that happened to my car when it was alone in the parking lot, just after escaping from Wonkyfoot:

` ...And finally, the crazy neighbor lady damage:

` Ouch!!! This was my first attempt to patch it up....

` A couple days later, I got it a little better:

` I've checked the stores for a replacement taillight cover, but the only ones that say they match my make and model are non-curved and vertical rectangle-shaped, which as you can see do not at all match my actual taillight cover!
` Anyway, with all these 'motionless accidents' and other neighborhood-related problems, Lou and I have decided to move out. That's why I've included some photos from our trip to Kirkland in April, where we checked out a lovely crumbling cottage on a hill. It will be turned into a housing development next year, so Lou came up with a clever plan:
` All he would have to do is work a deal with the owner in which he would cheaply fix up the cottage (well enough for the remainder of its existence) in exchange for less rent. That way, the owner could still make money off of it.
` And isn't it a lovely piece of property? Here's the main house and water tower....

` And a barn with some lovely flowers in the way....

` This is the actual cottage we were planning to rent out.

` Since the FabCam's batteries were going dead, I didn't bother using the flash when I took a picture of the inside....

` It's a lot bigger than it may look on the outside - it's much larger than our apartment, and it even has a washer-dryer set and a dishwasher! (It is my dream to not have to shower with the dishes!)
` And, if we'd gotten the place, we would have had plenty of fellow tenants on the property. There was even another little crumbling cottage, over this way....

` We would also get a lovely yard, in which we had planned to plant a few trees to block our view of the neighbor's house.

` Oh yes, trees... never have I seen a property with so many trees! This one was right next to the crumbling cottage we were after.

` I was also going to take a picture of the strange spectacle of the porch, which was apparently sitting halfway in an alternate dimension (as that half was simply missing), when Lou took two pictures of the damage under the cottage - the second one did not 'make it' because while the camera was processing it, the battery gave out.

` As you have guessed by now, we never did move there as the owner was not interested in Lou's deal. And so, we are back to square one.

` Even so, I am sure we will eventually move out (when we have the money), and I will be glad for it. Every time it rains here, there's a huge muddy slope leading to a huge puddle blocking the way to the little gravel parking lot. It's the reason why I sometimes appear in school or at the YMCA with a thick coating of mud on one leg.
` In case you didn't know, our apartment is also in the middle of the most dangerous part of town. In fact, whenever Lou and I go out, we say "Well, here we are, walking through the most dangerous part of Everett!"
` The crack hos, the meth heads... and the huge, muscular figure of one of Lou's former co-workers, jacked up on all sorts of substances, drunkenly running across the street with the pit bull, yelling "Killllllll! Killll! Killlllll!"
` We were like; "Hi... ah... oookay!" Kind of amusing, really.

` Oh, and the electrical problems, too! Can't forget that my battery backup blew up because there was no ground.
` ...Or maybe it was because our neighbor B-Dizzle, in the process of annoying us all day because he had turned back to methamphetamines, got right up behind me, flinched and spilled an illegal substance all over my UPS! After all, there didn't seem to be any power surge at all! More about that at the beginning of this post.
` Well, I found an outlet that does have a ground and soon enough the circuit went dead. After much flipping of switches on and off, we called the landlord.
` After three days of having to plug everything (including the refrigerator) into one outlet - the circuit never even overloaded, the electrical guy comes over, checks all our outlets, we moved furniture around (including the fridge and the bookshelf in front of it) just to discover that... all that needed to be done was to flip the breaker! Which I'm fairly certain had been done several times already!
` Then they were screwing the circuit breaker panel back onto the wall, our other circuit went out, and it took forever to get back on!

` Oh yes, and I can't forget our apartment-house-mates.... They're mostly okay, now that the crazy lady who broke into that guy's apartment is gone. Indeed, she did that on the very day she disappeared in a puff of meth smoke. Shortly after, this one girl I'll call 'Pinta' found that the crazy bitch had been sleeping with her boyfriend! (Not that she hadn't cheated on him, but that's a different story....)
` The next time the crazy bitch saw her (and didn't run), Pinta decided that she needed to introduce her fist. Now, I'm only mentioning this because the crazy women later came back here and dragged her couch into the downstairs hallway.
` I saw it the morning before I went off to school, but when I came back....

` Aaaaahhhh haaaaaaaaa haaaaaa! Whatever you do, don't mess with Pinta!

` ...Of course, these things all happen out of personal vendettas; other than the theft of my suitcase, X-Box etc. and vandalism of my car, I don't feel I have paid a very high price for living in the vicinity of questionable people. (Besides, the rent is only $450!)

` May 24, 2007: Just wanted to interject to say that I was up until 4 a.m. this morning because of something that did not officially occur. Such is the state of someone who is too anxious to sleep or call the police. It's one of those tight situations in which you feel helpless to do anything, hoping that nobody got out their gun like that incident that occurred two weeks ago.

` Honestly, I think this place has more drama than a soap opera, and only a little more charm than Gary, Indiana. I sure will miss it.


Joey M. said...

You use the Me Me Me tag too much.

Galtron said...

You weren't kidding when you said your place was a jungle!
Would you like it if I kept an eye out for another crumbling cottage?

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