Thursday, October 27, 2005

You know what they say about Luminas...

` They're a bitch to maintain.

` Apparently so are servers, sometimes... it erased my whole post! (Why didn't I copy it this time, the one time it just erased my post for no apparent reason?) It was really funny! Uggggggh.
` Anyway, it was a history of the humorous little blunders I've had each time my car breaks down while trying to drive.

` My car, by the way, is a 93 Chevy Lumina, and according to the serial number, it's also a Euro. Whatever the difference is. As proof of its existence, I have this satellite photo to show you, from when it was parked in a driveway in Medina, Ohio.
` Yes, it's that burgundy rectangle in the middle. Apparently, everyone living there at the time was at work while I was slacking off. Typical.

` Anyway, my roommate, EdgeWalker - who has not had his license for that long - was driving my burgundy rectangle home from work last night on the bridge on Highway 2. He was going 50 miles per hour when he noticed that, ahead of him, there was a long line of stopped cars. So he pushed on the brake.
` And nothing happened. So he put it into first gear and pumped up the parking brake, which caused the car to slow down and, after another driver had dodged their vehicle out of the way, rolled to a stop.
` Somehow, he managed to drive it like this back to the parking garage. How, I have no idea, though he might be writing about it soon.
` Apparently, what happened was that, while he was driving, all the brake fluid just leaked out at the same time!
` He's good. Considering how little experience he has.

` This morning, I attempted to move the car to the mechanic's down the street, but I soon discovered that the parking brake would not even stop the car from idling - the only way to halt it now was to put it in park!
` Not good for the transmission!
` Thankfully, Phil decided that it was time for 'personal business', so he bought me some more brake fluid and actually drove down the block to the mechanic's for me before it leaked out! What a good Mr. Yummy!

` I have no idea what happened this time, but it's probably another problem that's characteristic of Luminas... I'll bet you!


Galtron said...

Don't start me telling you stories about the time I owned a Yugo, now... personally, I think there's better things you can do with them than drive them.

And how did you get that picture of your car from space? Is that for real?

cassie d said...

omigod! how scary!
i have re-occuring dreams about my brakes failing! i've had them even before i was able to drive! i didn't know about downshifting and pumping the break until i had been driving awhile! quick thinking!!!

But seriously - how scary is that?

Maybe someone cut your break in the movies. Anyone trying to "off" you? I guess if there were, you wouldn't know about it until you got your car back from the mechanics....

Scary Halloween drama!!... ~~~~~~~

(that was the sound of scary ghosts...)

aahahhahahaaaahahhahahahahahahaaahhh!!! (that was the sound of a childrens choir...!!!~~~~~ - and those are SCARY dashes! not just plain old straight - dashes: SCARY ~ dashes!!!!!)

okay....i'm a little excited about Halloween! i'm going to watch ALL my zombie movies AND Children of the Corn!

S E E Quine said...

` Yes, Galtron, that's a real satellite photo of our house on East North St. (which, confusingly, intersects with North East St.) with my car in the driveway. I found it using the excellent Google Earth software.

` Y'know, Cas, I've had plenty of dreams myself where I was driving but couldn't see for whatever reason, which scared me silly.
` Thankfully, EdgeWalker is very skilled for not having driven a lot, though he had driven a stick shift in his teenage years a couple of times.

` I just talked to the mechanic today and he said it was because my car's been in Ohio for too long - the winter salt-and-ice mixture that clings to the bottom of the car finally ate through both brake lines (the gas line's pretty bad, too!), and all at once, a hole burst in one of the brake lines and all the fluid rapidly drained out.
` It's only going to cost me about 200 dollars for both brake lines, which isn't too bad, and a little more for the fuel filter, which is absolutely dripping.

` So, okay, I was wrong, it's not a Lumina thing, but rather, an Ohio thing.

` - - - - - - - <- straight dashes as to indicate the unscariness of the cause. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ <- scary dashes to indicate the fact that poor Jason could have been smashed to death, as Luminas have very poor safety ratings for such large, clunky cars.

` Oh, and have fun with your scary movies! Frankly, I've had enough of that in my life, though I'll probably write about my scariest couple of weeks ever in the future.
` ******* SUSPENSE!! *******

S E E Quine said...

` And, no, the fuel filter doesn't cost more than 200 dollars, it would just appear that way because of the way I worded that sentence.

` Oh yeah, and Galtron, love the Yugo art! You're right, a Yugo probably is much safer if you turn it into a foosball table or a telephone - but watch out when turning them into fireplaces!

` Heh.

Aaron said...

I'm not so sure this is a 'normal' problem. Brake fluid doesn't normally just leak out. The brake system is the most powerful system in your car, therefore the components of the system are quite robust.

Did you recently have service done to your car? When was the last time it was inspected?

My sister drove a Olds Cutlass Supreme (the oldsmobile lumina) in which she had several problems with the brake system. The brakes completely failed on her more than once. The worst part about it was that it was component related, so her emergency brake didn't work either. Her car was made in 91, and it had a first generation ABS system which caused nothing but problems. She ended up having to replace this nasty, ugly, extremely complicated master cylinder. They had to order it from Japan, and I think the part cost about 800 american dollars.

S E E Quine said...

(` Hmmm... I accidentally wrote 'Jason' instead of EdgeWalker again... why do I bother to do that, anyway? Well, so as not to confuse him with *other* Jasons.)

` And no, I'm pretty sure it was rust. The last time I got my car repaired was in January, and I still haven't paid off the $1,200 bill.
` I knew it was rusty under there, I just didn't have the money to do anything about it.
` Trust me, I saw what had happened to the brake lines - thick tubes of metal that are now mostly corrosion! The mechanic said that the rust was so bad that he just had to replace both of them, as there wasn't anything else he could do that would make my car safe to drive. I agree.