Friday, August 24, 2007

My corpse was defiled horribly!

` I can't make this stuff up.

` My dependent lividity is actually thanks to Seth Mannino, whose life is being a makeup artist and crazy costume designer - once he actually dressed up as a fat black woman with a baby and his friends could barely recognize him!

` I can't imagine it either.
` As you may or may not be able to see from this photo that may or may not actually be displayed (as I am afraid to upload it to Imageshack), he got to touch me all over - and yes, X-Dan's force field makes such a good censor!
` Oh, if it's not gonna show up, just click the damn thing and you go right to it!

` Anyway, the director (Clint Berquist) and a guy who will only be known as 'Mr. Stand-In' subsequently buried me like that in this wonderful pine dirt napper!

` By the way, the cat had nothing to do with this film, though it's worth noting that it was the size of a small pony.
` This is actually the poor, poor guy himself, Mr. Stand-In. From this angle, he could be anybody, right?

` He then put on a hooded sweatshirt in order to disguise the fact that he isn't the actor in the film, who has avoided this scene for some... um... unsavoriness. Uh... well, look for yourself.

` As you can see, he has a shovel... can you guess where this might be going?

` Oh yeah, he went there! Totally! (Thank goodness for digital dirt censoring techniques!)

` Necrophilia, anyone? Of course, it wasn't anywhere near looking real because... well, my limpness (among several other things) contributed to his limpness.

` He is currently undergoing therapy for acute psychological trauma.

` As I was saying, after a few minutes of shooting, Mr. Stand-In went in to wash his brain with some beer and I got to go wash off all of Seth's hard work... with the door open and everything because it hardly seemed worth closing after hanging around naked for two hours. ...And because I was too lazy to close it after Mr. Stand-In left it open after showing me how to operate his alien shower.
` As I was putting my clothes back on, though, I snapped another picture of the grave through the window.

` I'm so glad I escaped from being buried in the cold, cold ground... so I don't know what Clint was thinking!

` Apparently, though, Mr. Stand-In had other ideas.

` Hey, as long as he gave me the hundred dollars first, right?

16 comments:

MONA said...

YIKES! that is like my most horrible phobia come true!

Being buried alive!

Gosh.. I would die in the process of acting itself!!!...of fear of course...

LOL! You are too funny!

Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

I am speechless—except for the word “bizarre.”

barman said...

You make a HOT dead person. I would have dug you back up too!!! OK, now I just had a little shudder there, maybe that was a lie.

I once worked with someone back when I worked in Detroit who had a neighbor. Guess what, this very thing happened right next door. He killed his wife and buried her. Then he would dig her up and have sex with her. I AM NOT KIDDING. The police caught on, the neighbor went to jail and they moved.

I am afraid, even for $100, I would have a hard time laying down in that dirt napper. Just thinking of it gives me the creeps.

Hey now you know what you can dress up like for Halloween.

Galtron said...

Who was your neighbor, Barman? I have to look this up for myself!

Too bad Stand-In buried Clint. I would have wanted to see the finished project.

What's it called again?

P.S. you have courage, Spoony!

Charles said...

Dizamn. No way I could have done what you did. I see now why you may have wanted to disconnect your Bethink from these.

Dan said...

You have entirely too much fun.

Being buried alive is so cool. I've been buried alive twice in my life. It's so peaceful. Of course it does start smelling because ... well ... no bathrooms ... hello??

S E E Quine said...

` I must also have details about your neighbor, Barman!

` Galtron, I apparently had so much courage that the boys kept saying 'respect! You have our respect!' Can you believe those ninnies didn't think they could have done what I did?
` The film is called Art vs Porn - Art and Porn are actually surreal boxing match contenders. It's one of many films to be entered in HUMP 3!

` Charles, no shizznet.

` Dan... you are weird.

` Everyone: While it was a pretty fun experience, there was this one part where the director slammed the shovel into the coffin lid and it smashed into my face, creating a huge gash in my forehead and filling my facial orifices with gritty dirt (which believe it or not, I'm still finding).
` I also had a bunch of other bumps and scrapes (and nerve pinches!) from being extensively manhandled on top of the coffin lid, but nothing serious.
` Still worth my hundred bucks.

barman said...

I wish I had more details to give. It was the neighbors of someone I worked with (Don Collister) and his wife with whom I have since lost touch with. He lived on Iroquois street in the Indian Village section of Detroit, Michigan back in about 1986.

One day the police showed up at the neighbors house while my coworker was at work and when he got home he found out the neighbor had buried his wife in his backyard and had dug her back up a couple of times for a booty call. Needless to say the neighbor was taken to jail right away. Don decided it was time to get the heck out of dodge and moved shortly after that. I wish I had more good details like people would like to know but sorry. Google was no help either.

J Morgetron said...

I think this should be posted on my blog. This is tres bizarre.

angel said...

sheesh... thats some freaky ess-aitch-one-tee girl!

Kingcover said...

LOL! I see you don't do things by halves when you want to end it all by slitting BOTH wrists. WTG girl!

I was expecting Tinkerbell to be at the end of the stars around your body. Nice placement of that bytheway ;-)

The Swill Man said...

WE WANT NIPPLES! WE WANT NIPPLES!

Denny said...

ok i think im having impure thoughts about corpses ahhhhhhhhh !

S E E Quine said...

` Thanks, Gareth! Glad you were brave enough to check out my nekkid picture! I did go all-out!
` Perhaps I was a meth-head and couldn't take it anymore! Or maybe not - I think that's what meth-heads look like when they're still alive!

` I'm also officially glad to impress people with my freakiness, cause impure thoughts about corpses, and elicit a request for nipplage, though I have more respect for myself than to show that - or to do testimonies in... *shudder!*... infomercials!

` BTW, I hope my somewhat morbid bloggy friend Crabby and Cassie are eventually able to see this!
` Besides the horny men, I made this post with them in mind, and I was hoping I could say so. So I am now.

Kingcover said...

No there was no braveness required in clicking on your nude pic because I naturally gravitate towards those anyways LMAO ;-)

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