Monday, November 20, 2006

When I wasn't a creature... (A post from three days ago)

` Not to upstage my blunder with the New Yorker (and the spicy spiders), but I should really start shelling out my picture posts! This draft is actually from late October, during my Halloween corn maze run as sort-of Dr. Nociceptor.
` It starts with a picture I took one Wednesday at Denny's, after I saw a tall guy in a red coat doing a front flip. I had no idea TallGuy was so coordinated, nor so attractive in Anime attire!

` However, his uncanny resemblence to a Fruit Roll-Up tended to attract many kinds of colorful pollinating creatures. Such as the Green-Haired Bobert and his dangerous little friend, Mega-Fuzzy Bear.

` Lucky for us, there exists more than just an evil monkey in his closet to repel him: We suggested that the dessert menu was a failed abortion. Failed abortion! Failed abortion!

` And doesn't Cheshire's hat make Bi Guy's head look utterly Saturnlike? Anyway, TallGuy's coat also attracted these cute little VashFans, which approached, saying; "Oh, Vash! You're the greatest!" This one is the Purple Velvet-Coated VashFan:

` In fact, it even attracted the Forest Nympho, a rare, sparkling species native only to places in which adorkable and horny oddballs are found.

` Later on, we shed some of our attire - can you guess which I took off? (that's right, my normal facial expressions) - and we found ourselves at Crapplebee's.

` I don't remember anything that happened, other than the fact that Hot Bisexual Guy evidently had attacked Cheshire with a Steer Butt Knife.

` That, and the fact that the Forest Nympho somehow had found her way in later on in search of the Fruit Roll-Up-type coat (which was in TallGuy's van). But since I have no photo of that, how about a nice, grainy CDP of Lou's friend, Germy, who was briefly visiting the U.S. from Japan.

` Wait a minute... He has no eyeballs! Waaaaaugh!! Somebody, get him some eyes!!

` Then, schizophrenically, my next nighttime photo was my very next trip to Denny's. Hot Bi Guy was wearing his most evil pink shirt, all over which someone had drawn these wonderful little bloody hearts and skulls.

` And that's a Hello Kitty Stamper Ring on his finger and a necklace with a razor blade that has a heart shape cut out of it! Isn't it just so precious (and by precious I mean disturbing)? I love it.
` Then, we went onto X-Dan's house, where I found something amazing, though curiously X-Dan had never noticed them before - antique crayons!

` And they still were fully-functional! That's so awesome! I wonder how old they were? All I can say is, Crayolas haven't changed much since whenever these were made - they just have more colors and have gone through several additional packaging alterations.

` Then we played with Cat-Zippy (who is different than Dog-Zippy) whilst drinking herbal tea. Zippy was very much content to destroy the Scratcher of Evil Backs. It was so cute!

` The very next day, I drove up to Zippy's (Dog-Zippy's) with Cheshire. Since there was quite a popular event at the Events Center, there was nary a close parking space. On the upside, while we were walking the usual four blocks over we saw a train and I was astonished to get a picture of it! (Ooh! Glowy!)

` Once at Zippy's, there was this guy who had some wonderful poetry, but I didn't have a fiver for his book-thingy of poems. Wow. He really shined. I think one of them may have been about how he wanted to be an aircraft carrier when he grew up. (And his dream came true!)
` ...As the perfect complement to any great poem, Zippy ran in with a wicker tray in his mouth, and then ran back.

` Then, he went on to destroy one of the most evil boxes one could ever hope to find! A Coca-Cola product box! Go, Zippy! Tear it apart!

` Of course, during Poetry Night, you can't expect me go without writing a poem! This time, I tried not to write anything about sex. Which is hard. Well....

After the pain recedes and the transformation is complete,
I stretch my arms and pull myself to my feet.
I'm not diseased, but I do have an unusual drive.
Rabid in another sense, and it's sad how much I'm deprived.
Must pursue and rip and tear the clothes off men,
I can't believe this happened to my poem again!

` *Sigh....* I managed to stave it off only in the first two lines, so I tried on Cheshire's Mind Control Hat. Unfortunately, she abused her Mind Control Hat Powers so that I would become attracted to her (hence the evil grin)!

` Realizing what was going on, I tossed it in the air and it landed on X-Dan's head! Having never felt this way about any woman before, he was quite terrified and panicked.

` I don't know what else the hell happened, as my pictures end here. But there you go, evidence that stuff occurred in October, and there will be more soon!

7 comments:

Galtron said...

Haaahaahaa! X-Dan looks soooo... should I say it? GAY as he's swatting the mind control hat off!

S E E Quine said...

` He does that deliberately. Just to piss of Dick Army, in fact. ;)

Anonymous said...

you are simply beautifull
kind of stand out when you slip a photo with you on the page
evol~ve bennie beasly

S E E Quine said...

` Yeah, especially that one of me at Crapplebee's.... :D

` Please don't stalk me. O_o

mizzbeehive1963 said...

But... but... I love looking so GAY!!!

S E E Quine said...

` I love it when you look so gay, too! It's soooo cute!
` ...And it's hilariously cute when you are fay-ly swatting things off your head, saying, "Oh! Get it off! Get it off!"

mizzbeehive1963 said...

I do try to present myself in the most adorablest way possible!