` It's been a really long time since I've submitted an article to a magazine, and to tell you the truth, I have never gotten a response before.
` This time, Lou persuaded me to try again and so I sent in a large and meticulous article entitled 9/11 Conspiracy Theorists and Their Crazy Ways which sounds like a funny title, yet the article itself is not. (Though I could probably stand to ham it up a little.)
` Since I couldn't find the email address for the 'Facts' section, I sent it to the 'Shouts' section, not knowing what it was. To my utter amazement, I got an email back:
Dear S E E Quine,` I thought; 'Wow! Not only did my article dignify a response, but they actually think my article has evident merit! I wonder why it wasn't right for them? Did I send it to the wrong department?'
We're sorry to say that your piece, "9/11 conspiracy theorists," isn't right for us, despite
its evident merit. Thank you for allowing us to consider your work.
The Shouts Dept.
` I got my answer just earlier when Lou and I were on the YMCA stationary bikes and he happened to have found a New Yorker magazine lying around. When he was done with it, I started flipping through and lo and behold, I found a section entitled 'Shouts and Murmurs'. It is a comedy section, and the article in it was only one page!
` Oh, Dog! I sent it to the wrong department! Jeebus Crow! Somebody shoot me! And I can't figure out which department to send it to, so I'm going to just send it somewhere else. Like Playboy. Even though I can't find a place to submit articles to. Oh well. Wish me luck.