Tuesday, March 20, 2007

The Interim: A Strange Trip - Part 3

` Sorry for the lack for science posts, everyone. Strangely, my local network doesn't like to connect to the internet very much, and I've especially had problems posting comments (virtually nil chance of that), because for some reason that seems to disconnect me! However, I do at last have this one ready to go, and it's full of strangeness and excitement and Nymphos going medieval on Monkey Kitty Dudes....

` By the way, as for my last post, well, I've been meaning to say;

` I’ve been having a really dreadful time connecting to the internet, so bad that I cannot seem to ever get comments to go through, even on other people's blogs! As I’ve been trying to tell you the last few days, Cassie, those two guys were making medieval coins! Useless to buy anything with nowadays, but in those days they had some kind of worth or other, depending on when and where you were.

` (One of them was telling me about how people could travel to, where was it? Switzerland, make a little money there, and then come back to wherever they were and it would be worth a lot more! Ha ha! Tricksy little hobbitses!)

` Oh yes, and the cake is key lime/coconut! I sorely wish that my nose hadn’t been uncontrollably stopped up that day, far beyond reach of cold and flu remedies, or else I would have been able to taste it!

` So, as for this post, I wanted to tell you all about my adventure with Nympho and Cheshire at the Medieval Fair, which was on a blindingly sunny day all the way back in January. (Yes, I've been very slacking with these photos!) Unfortunately, it was held in a huge, very drab warehouse, which gave it a distinctively unauthentic feel. Observe!

` At least the minstrels helped to liven things up. (Hmmm. See that lady's yellow button with the rat on it? I'm trying to think what those were... I think they had something to do with the bubonic plague. Isn't that delightful?)
` Oh yes, I almost forgot! For medieval fairs, you really ought to wear a costume! I have only one picture of mine - well, you'll see it a little further down! As for Lady Cheshire and Lady Nympho, I do think they looked very good....

` Gee, and lookit all those shiny things and drums! So many things were on sale, it was amazing! Everywhere you looked there were hand-made crafts and people making them - this lady is doing something or other with felt;

` Other people were working leather into mugs or spinning wool;

` But goodness! What an ugly warehouse! In the centre, luckily, there were plenty of knights (or as I call them, k-niggits), who were hell-bent on beating the crap out of each other. Oh, yes, I remember this one - he was the sweaty warrior who had escaped to the sidelines and was asking for a little help with his armor.

` Oh yes, before I forget: You've probably wondered what I looked like! Let's just say, people were calling me 'Prince Valiant' (especially Cheshire's mom Cake Therapist, who was also the person who gave the outfit to me).

` Indeed, it's very interesting to be taken for a young man from time to time. In fact, some middle-eastern looking girl with a turquoise veil actually started flirting with me! That was awesome!
` Then, just after that, we came across a stand full of drinking horns. Moo!

` And after that, at the booby-dagger stand (well, you'll see...) I grew bored and started talking to Scary Teeth Guy! He says that long ago his real teeth had tragically been knocked out in an accident, so a movie special effects guy made him these replacements, which he wears every day!

` (Well, that's what he told me, anyway....) Then what? Oh yes, we eventually wandered outside to the archery pavillion.

` Then, it was back inside to check out the sword-fighting up-close. There were so many people in armour made of pickle-barrels and other things, and from many different houses - this flag must be from the House of the Wildebeest:

` We stood around, and I can tell you there was certainly a lot of 'bam! ching! smash! whap!' and the flashing of metal going on....

` ...So much so that it got boring after a while.

` ...Although I can't forget to include this guy, Sir Darth of Vadersville!

` And then, at some point, we bumped into Kar... uh, Aunt Girl, whereupon she severely attacked Nympho with a very tickley feather!

` Cheshire - probably the most practical one of us there - had brought us some lunch, so we all sat down in a place where we could watch the knights. On the cold, hard, drab cement floor, that is.
` Curiously, at one point a man came staggering over, placed his armour aside, and then collapsed on a nearby rug!

` The battles raged on, we kept eating, and he kept lying there as if he were dead! I was somewhat puzzled by this.

` Finally! He wrenched himself up with his arms, and with the expression of a dead fish he held that position for a while (he must have been stretching) before getting to his feet and going back into the fray. ...Or whatever was waiting for him.

` Oh, I so wish it had been outdoors - to think that the flags were up (whatever those things are called), the armour was flashing... and the food and drink stand is more than visible in the corner, while the sun barely manages to trickle in just under the roof....

` After all this fighting, however, Nympho then decided to start a little sword-fighting of her own. Oh yes!!! This is it!!! Beware the dreaded booby-sword!

` After escaping with my life, I did manage to run into Gregrobin Smith, (a.k.a. the Ben Franklin Guy) whom I've met before. I've long forgotten his character name, though isn't he awfully shiny and medieval-like with his cape and leather mug?

` And speaking of shiny things... Lady Aunt Girl, Nympho and Cheshire were once again fascinated by shiny things. Girls! Such strange creatures they are!

` By the way, the sign was meant to read 'Lady Visa & Master Card Welcome Here' but the sign was made before the mistake was caught. I thought that was a clever thing, anyway.
` Oh, by the way, there was one shiny thing that caught my eye; this lovely peacock feather made into an earring! I got even closer pictures of it, though I thought this was the best one;

` Goodness me! Not only were there shiny things to put on your hands, wrists, necks and ears, but ones that sit on your head, as Nympho so elegantly demonstrates;

` However, I was most of all interested in the other strange things for sale, including this little fellow I had affectionately named 'Corpsey the Dead Mink'.

` He was so nice, though. He didn't bite me once! Besides poor creatures such as that, I was also interested in talking with the other people, including the leather-worker's daughter, or whoever she was, wearing a very well-made wool hat of the type you can also buy at the fair.

` Why do Pandas do handstands? A worthy question! I think I know the answer; they scent-mark by backing up trees, so that the scent carries farther on the wind or something like that. Years of nature documentaries must be good for something....
` Then I wandered around a bit more, saw a guy I call 'Crazy Bird' knock someone down with some insane move I couldn't quite follow, though he was nice enough to help his competitor up.

` Ah! Remember these from my last post? Yes, they're the coin-makers again!

` You see how this works - this guy swings the hammer onto the mould....

` ...and this guy makes sure it doesn't fly off and hit him in the balls!

` Simple, really. As you can see, they've made some progress. I forget what type of coins they were, though... but they were quite coin-like!

` Ah! The leather artist had finally gotten back from her coffee break. In fact, that thing you see there is a defective (thus cheap) piece of leather, which she was making into a pouch... just for me! (Yes! I'd said! I want the defective one!)

` Now I can have a pouch that clips to my belt, and though it is made of dead animal (which I don't like), it will never fall apart and for once I will finally be able to carry things around with me without having to wear a coat! (You see, girls' pants-pockets are in no way useful for putting things into - even most cargo pants!) Check out those other ones as well;

` She's hand-made the embossings as well! Isn't that spiffy? Anyway, by the time it was dark, we eventually did have to get going home (and I had to get to sleep), and so I missed Nympho's porn and pudding party (which I mentioned in the very short mutant rhea post on January 30.)

` Well, I must be getting to bed. Hope you liked this post! I will try to curb my new writing style I've been using, as it is quite annoying to myself. (Unless you don't mind.) It's been plaguing me lately, although I think it actually seems appropriate for this post. Anyway, good night!


Crabby said...

Wow! That looks like a darn good time.
btw. your head is up at the cowpie field. It's on the post under the one where I prove positively and without question that there is life after death.

Galtron said...

Yeah it looks like a darn good time! Anyone who comes up with 'Corpsey the Dead Mink' must be having a good time!

locomocos said...

uhh...that scary teeth guy looks a little scary for other reasons - maybe he's really "come here my pretty lady, and i'll show you my teeth - and my own Corpsey the Twitching Mink!" guy! haha!

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