Saturday, March 03, 2007

The Interim: A Strange Trip - part 1

` Pitiful of pitifulness, this post has taken a week to finish. And so, for what's been going on....

` Today, on the morning of February 26, the snow-obscured sun is rising as I sit in my semi-studio apartment while Lou and his construction workmate Rex talk about their action plan for the day. Rex says; "Lucas, tell me we aren't going to crawl under a rapist's house on the shittiest day of winter."
` Lou says; "Rex, we are not going to crawl under a rapist's house on the shittiest day in winter."

` And how did they come to be working on a rapist's house? Truth is, they had no idea until Lou crawled out from under the house they were working on and found a loaded gun next to his right temple, aimed and ready!
` Thank goodness his karate instincts didn't follow through - he was surrounded by police officers! Apparently, the criminal living in the house had committed yet another atrocious act, and so the cops were searching the house.
` They certainly did not expect to find guys mucking around beneath the house! As a consequence, the construction boys warranted a lot of suspicion. In fact, when one officer called down to them 'what are you doing under there?' Rex almost said 'We're hiding from the police!' That would not have been taken well.
` Quite a story, no?

` And now, without any explanation, a random photo of the Knights of the Pickle Barrel!

` Let's just say that's a clue as to part of what's been keeping me from the computer. More on that later.
` So, you ask, in general what else has been contributing to having 'more important things to do'? (And if you don't ask, I'll tell you anyway.) Well, for this past entire busy month, I've been through quite a bit. For example, I hit my head leaving the bathroom at college, fell down, got back up and (genius that I am) proceeded to lean against the wall by the men's bathroom door as it repeatedly swung open, knocking me down again and again.
` Strangely, the only thing any of them said about me as I staggered around with blood pouring from my head to my hand was "Oop!"
` 'Oop' indeed!!

` And yet, strangely, after that happened I found that for once in my life I could get the hang of focusing! In fact, this is a picture of the very last Ritalin I'd taken - it's pink because it had spent more than a month collecting debris under the seat in my Burgundy Rectangle!

` And to think I was that dependent on them for functioning (in school or anywhere)! But then, I found I'd had a 'focusing muscle' all along (I'd never used it because I was so abused as a child it didn't matter) and that hyperflexing this brain 'muscle' wasn't fun: Doing that makes everything come into such close focus, you want a rest but you can't relax! You're so wound up you can't even tell how hungry or sleepy you are, which is bad because you tend to wind up starving yourself and not knowing when to go to bed!
` Eventually, I've been able to get the hang of flexing and relaxing this newfound ability and so have the sense of being able to pay attention to anything I should want (as long as I'm not too tired or hungry). It's not perfect, though - however if I take a Ritalin now, I might as well have snorted some bath salts.... Even so, I feel so free to be able to pay attention to anything I want, when I want! It's just plain wonderful!
` Besides that, I'm surprised that I've been able to manage in school, despite the fact that this is the first time in my life that I've had to deal with being in a classroom situation (one of the many downsides of not attending school beforehand). I've been getting so good at it that I've begun to not want to kill the other students in my math class who talk nonstop through the entire class duration.
` You see, the way I think is to talk to myself in my head, and otherwise make use of my auditory circuits while I'm processing information. So, if I hear other people talking, my thought processes freeze - I literally cannot hear myself think, and this is especially critical during tests as well as completely preventing the absorption of new knowledge (= I can't learn anything until I get home!). With such serious interference on the line, I cannot even recall what was going on in my brain until the noise abates.
` And on most days, if the talking people are present, it doesn't. This is why, on tests, I typically score anywhere from a 33% to perhaps a 60% when I cannot escape. However, when the classroom next door is unoccupied, I can take my tests in there, easily scoring a 94% or higher. So, the effect is directly visible in my grades. Amazing to think that the actions of other people can determine whether I pass or fail in a class, huh?
` Other than allowing me to hide out in the computer room or the next classroom when it is unoccupied, my teacher says there is nothing he can do to stop these people from talking - even though they aren't usually talking about math! They just sit down and start chitty-chatting about their lives, and I don't care about their lives when I'm trying to focus on my math book! (Otherwise, I might want to ask them questions!)
` As you may have guessed, I have learned that the obvious option of telling them to be quiet has so far had no real effect. Interestingly, I once stabbed my math book so hard it broke the end of my mechanical pencil right after two of the talkers relocated right next to the corner I was sitting backwards in. The classroom was quiet for the rest of the day.

` No wonder I don't have any classmate friends!

` However, I've now discovered that earplugs and deep breathing do a lot more to isolate myself from the noise compared to alienating the other students by constantly picking my math book up and getting as far away from them as possible, disgruntled-looking or not.
` So yeah, school's been a challenge that way - it isn't like I've had any experience with this type of thing before, having spent my first six years of schooling being abused and treated like dirt by both my dad and the school employees, and the next six sitting at home alone being abused and treated like dirt by my dad.
` And so, this is part of the reason why I've been busy - homework! I've also found that it's so much easier when you have a superhero around: Lou Ryan's been very helpful (on top of being cute and adorable) when I asked him to clarify a concept that was not spelled out very well in my math book. Because of him, I was able to complete all the problems on my test on Friday - and within a half hour, too, if you don't count the 25 minutes I spent doing the first four problems in a way the directions did not indicate for me to do! I probably got another 100%, too!

` The other reason I've been inattentive to Blogger (not counting my computer's inability to find the internet server yesterday when I came home from school!) is because both Lou and I both had the flu for two weeks. First, when Lou was worse, I spent a lot of time running around to do everything I could to get him eating and feeling better.
` Who can resist taking care of this cute little guy?

` Awwwwww! Superheroes are so cute when they're weak and defenseless! In fact, he got much worse while attempting to get a job at another construction company (he would have been successful if that hadn't happened), as his current boss is a total wackmobile who personally attacks him for no reason while he and his coworkers stand around scratching their heads, wondering what the hell is going on and why he insists on dressing Lou down in front of them.
` They suspect the reason why is that Lou doesn't depend on the boss for everything and is able to manage everything he is supposed to. In fact, this boss is the same way with his Chevron station employees, but I won't get into that.... I will, however mention that B-Dizzle, his hardest-working Chevron employee (and the one who constantly takes crap from the others) had to work for weeks with strep throat and walking pneumonia before the guy let him have a couple of days off. The reason? He didn't believe he was that ill until B-Dizzle had him talk to his doctor about his chest X-rays and such. (And while he was recovering, B-Dizzle had to put up with Blint the Blob telling random shady characters where he lived and sending them to his door.)

` I, for one, am sure glad I didn't get that sick! Even so, this flu has been really rough, and I am so thankful that when it was my turn to be the blood-coughing debilitated one who needed to sleep all day (I even had to - gasp! - take a day off school!), he was all over to take care of me, pounce on me, nibble at my ears and make sure I had food and plenty of flu remedies.
` He even promised to do the dishes! The next day, seeing that he'd done everything for me except the dishes, I wanted to do them but he told me 'no, I'll do them!' However, this same cycle repeated itself for a few days, and....

` Eventually, he did get around to it, although both the kitchen and bathroom sinks were clogged (as usual - which is why this is my preferred method of dish-washing). So, we invited a new little friend into our bathroom....

` (Notice the yellow stains from the dripping nicotine....)

` Well I feel I have finally yammered on enough for now. However, I will probably have more, new and smaller posts about my life in the near future. For example, I shall probably soon write about the time I went into an alternate dimension....

` I haven't been the same since.

` I'll let you figure out what that means. Oh... and there's one more thing I want to tell you (and one more picture that's good for clicking on):
` Have a nice day...

` ...Like this one! And if you can't get a nice day like that one, go out and buy one!


Gareth said...

The picture with Lou slumped over the stool thingie. I'll bet you woke him out of his flu induced sleep, dragged him out of his sick bed, told him to lie over the stool thingie as referred to above, told him to make the illest of faces that he could dredge up from the recesses of his mind just to take a pic of him. After which the poor little creature had to crawl un-aided back to his semi soft bed and feel much worse than he had previously done. In short you are a cruel uncaring woman whom seeks sadistic pleasure from other people's misfortune :P

And you are only supposed to put the shaving cream on the upper lip, chin, neck and sides of face. Not sure why you feel the need to shave your forehead but I guess that is for another post ;)

Galtron said...

When people are annoying me when I'm supposed to be doing work, I just whack them in the nose with a rolled-up newspaper and say 'bad dog!'
No wonder I have no friends at work!

By the way, I think I've seen that alternate dimension before! Where is it?

S E E Quine said...

` Actually, Gareth, Lou slumped himself onto that stool after sliding off the couch in Slug Mode.

` Galtron, that particular alternate dimension (found in the Everett Events Center) is one where people put shaving cream on their faces for no reason at all!
` Then, when someone handed me a facial masque, I put it on my face, and it stopped hurting and acquired a firm, non-chapped, non-oily texture! ...But then I noticed that the rest of my skin was still stinging, so I ran around like mad until I crashed into the lotion bottle!

Galtron said...

Spoony! Where did you go? Off on another strange trip I hope? I hope you take me along next time!

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