Sunday, January 21, 2007

Good to be back!

` Thanks to my very loving and doting boyfriend, my ill self has been drugged to the gills and passed out for at least six hours today thanks to such substances as Benadryl and red wine. As he was watching a movie on my computer when I woke up, so tonight is the first time I've really had a chance to get around to checking out my vacation photos.
` And what photos I have! Since there are so many good ones, I thought I'd show my loyal readers some of the photographic highlights of the trip. (I will, predictably, have more detailed posts later on!) And remember, most of these photos are of such high quality that I recommend clicking on any of them that look detailed.

` First off, our ship (the Paradise) was docked at Long Beach, right next to the Ooh-Scary Queen Mary. When I first looked at one of the photos I'd taken of it, I found something on it that I swear I hadn't seen while I was there. Look...

` ...no fewer than a dozen ghosts of seabirds that were killed in collisions with the ship! Grotesque!!!
` There were even seagull ghosts standing on the roof of the gangway, squabbling and picking their cute white butts.

` One of them was even standing on the top of the flagpole of our ship, which had a really great view of the oil rigs....

` Which reminds me, our room had quite an amazing view...

` ...of some spectacular beige Fiberglas! It was a bit odd to wake up in the morning to that. And even more odd, after breakfast each morning we would find that our towels had been transformed into various animals, also with cute white butts!

` So, what did we see while we were actually on our trip, onshore or offshore? More than anything in the world, once we went outside there was this big, shiny thing in the sky, and every time it came over the edge of the earth, the sky turned orange!
` (Warning to certain individuals: my sandals are visible in this photo!)

` Once the golden ball went all the way out of view, however, the Black Pearl set sail! (Yes, that's the one! Contrast and compare!)

` Using its black paint stealth technology, it followed us through the night until finally we were boarded! Abandon ship!!

` ...Unfortunately, it was only a dream. Darn! And I was really hoping to be raped and pillaged by pirates! Oh well....
` Each morning, now, I woke up to about the most ubiquitous things I'd see throughout the trip, onshore or offshore - that is, if you don't count the golden ball! These would be seagulls...

` ...seagulls...

...and more seagulls!

` Oh, and that island in the background would be Catalina. Here's a better view of the island (one with more attractive creatures than seagulls, also possessing cute white butts).

` Catalina was a pretty happening island. And gee, what were the most visible species there, besides seagulls? Mutant trees with no branches!!

` What's up with that? Not only that, but there were pigeons all over the place! This one had apparently found a pipe full of fresh water! Either that, or delicious cake.

` ...Did somebody say delicious cake? Because that was another thing our boat was full of!

` There was also a swimming pool with a water slide, stocked mostly with rowdy teenagers and people of retirement age.

` I should also mention that our ship was full of these weird letters embedded in the doorways...

` ...look how they change color!

` Yes, apparently cruise ships actually require signs everywhere to direct people to the various rooms and places. Just look how huge ours was! (This is our deck.)

` There was even an eight-story atrium!

` Could I forget? There was even a workout room! (Another sandal warning!)

` Hmmm. Looks like I need to work on keeping my shoulders square!

` Let me tell you, the luxury on that boat was just insane! And there were plenty of really nice crew members who practically wiped our asses for us! And then... we got to Mexico. Besides being full of touristy things, it was also full of poor homeless people and their tiny children, as well as a lot of seabirds wallowing in pollution and eating garbage.

` Hooray for wasteland scenes!

` Away from the city, however, we found... horsies!

` And we rode those horsies through... mountains!

` ...Then, Lou had to defend himself from ferocious ranch dogs!

` But that's nothin'! Back on the boat, he got out his guitar and for the life of me I couldn't keep the teenage girls off of him!

` ...Or not. Somehow, though, this led to a huge drunken singing contest, of which I took very unflattering pictures of everybody! (Wow, look at the size of that Foster's! I believe it's a whole pint!)

` More and more people joined in the madness. Never before have I heard such a strange thing, and never again do I want to!

` We eventually made it back without being attacked by pirates or anything exciting like that. Blah. This photo was taken yesterday morning in California, just as the amazing golden ball was climbing towards the horizon!

` Here's the actual orb itself - and if you view the image full-size you can see a huge flock of migrating geese!

` Later on, we passed a mountain we call Mini-Shasta...

` ...because it's right next to Full-Sized Shasta!

` So that was somewhere in northern California. Lucky us, we made such good time that we got home at about seven that evening - that was fully a fourteen-hour drive!

` Well, I'd better get to bed, I have school in the morning!

19 comments:

Joey M. said...

Oh, that's funny. You're very funny. But you do look hawt in both of the problem pictures, I'll give you that.

Galtron said...

Yeah, Spoony, your photo posts are hilarious! That boat must have been packed full the utmost lavish indulgences -- I can't believe you got the same view as I do when I get into my shower!

PS, is that really, really the Black Pearl? Too bad you didn't get to have hot pirate sex -- knowing you, you would like that!!

Denny said...

gald you had a good time on your trip. I havent been on a cruise in so long makes me think I should start planning a new vacation.

Aaron said...

I love your picture posts Spoony. That's a good photo of Lou on the horse.

S E E Quine said...

` Thank you Joey. Glad the sandals don't ruin it all. Say hi to Yosef for me.

` The same view as when you get in your shower, Galtron? I wish!!
` Yes, that is the Black Pearl. (I'm not the only person with a blog to take note!) I took that photo from the mini golf course on the ship.

` I know what you mean, Denny! I don't know how I could live before, not knowing what it was like to go on vacation....
` Next year, if you're still up for it I could smuggle you along in my suitcase.... Well, as long as you're willing to participate in orgies with hot, young Indonesian girls.

` Thanks, Aaron! It is awfully hard to take pictures while you're riding a horse you don't know how to control - plus, there's better ones from where that came from!

tbsr said...

Welcome home! jomama tried to comment but couldn't, so I tried again.

Joey M. said...

Yosef is a portrait of myself made by a friend of mine. He's in India right now getting sick from the food.

Gareth said...

That was a freekin awesome post!!!
Looks as if you made friends with the local wildlife. I can send you over a seagull or two because there is no shortage of white butts over here. You can even name them yourself, except for Percy, he stays with me! :P

Sweet home Alabama
De de de de de de de de .....

locomocos said...

i love your pics!!

that one with the pigeon eating 'cake' was awesome!

looks like you guys had SO MUCH fun!

i had to do a double take, as one of the guys at karaoke looked like an ex-boyfriend!
WhEw!
it wasn't! haha!

S E E Quine said...

` Hey TBSR!! What was she trying to write? Surely you can show her that it isn't that hard to figure out....
` I'm afraid to remove the spam filter, but ya know, I didn't know it was on there because it doesn't show up on my computer!

` Oh... that's right, Joey! Of course Yosef was supposed to be you - I keep forgetting how very much like a crustacean you look!

` Mmmm. Thinking about Gareth and white butts at the same time makes me happy.

` So, Cas, you like the pigeon picture best? I can't imagine why, but thanks anyway!
` I kept thinking I would run into people I knew on the boat myself somehow though thankfully it never happened: As I understand, it's awfully awkward when you are unable to escape from someone because you are surrounded by the ocean!
` Next time I go I could smuggle you in my suitcase with Denny, if you like....

Gareth said...

LOL do you have some kind of weird bird fetish?! :P

S E E Quine said...

` (Damn, the electric went out again!!)

` Not unless the word 'bird' is a metaphor and resides in your pants!

Winters said...

A fine picture post, Miss Quine, living up to all my high expectations. They're all great, but my favourite is obviously the one where you're pumping iron.

I had no idea you were so strong. I shall not be picking a fight with you.

S E E Quine said...

` Oh, Winters! You don't need to pick a fight with me, anyway... you could probably bribe me very easily.

Denny said...

ha ! I hope you have a big suitcase !

S E E Quine said...

` ...Actually, no I don't. The stupid meth-heads stole it!
` Plan B - climb the moorings! Either that, or pay your way aboard.

Dan said...

Spoony! The photos, and your most excellent comments, rock!

Unfortunately, it was only a dream. Darn! And I was really hoping to be raped and pillaged by pirates! Oh well....

Hey! Maybe next time! Every vacation can't be perfect, right?

By the way, I must have your sandals. What are your demands?

S E E Quine said...

` My demands? Another pair of sandals where my poor toe can fit through. That's the only reason I wear them through the snow....
` Either that, or your choice of 1) doing the dishes or 2) being the dishes. ;D You'll be squaky clean either way!

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