Sunday, September 10, 2006

Legions of Dexters!

` This post was originally carefully plotted to come into existence on December 16, 2005 (just after my last one!), but my sketch posts all had to stop for a while because my hard drive was dying.
` I would have had them all up by now, but by the time I'd moved to a place without internet access, fixed my computer and discovered a way to upload pictures onto public internet stations, I had come back to my sketchbook image files to find that they were in the Adobe Photoshop format.

` That was a problem, as I didn't have Adobe Photoshop anymore. Or, more accurately, it had stopped working.
` Arrrrr! That's what happens when you be a pirate!
` This wouldn't have been a problem if I'd realized that there
was a set of pictures that I had set aside as jpegs specifically for editing and uploading. ...But I didn't until a couple of weeks ago.

` CAN YOU BELIEVE IT!?


` Without further ado, here is my belated next pencil sketch post! (...Unless, of course, you would like to go back to the first pencil sketches, which officially start here. ...With another bit before that here.

` At age eighteen I had begun to take a liking to Dexter's Laboratory. Why? Well, even four or five months after my dad had stolen every work I'd ever written (including my diaries and my entire computer), having no friends to speak of, I couldn't stop watching TV to try to dull the pain.
` Eventually, I began to draw pictures of strange cartoons I'd discovered, including Dexter, who is by far the mosty easily-drawn, and thus doubly distracting. (...There are also other explanations, but I won't get into that.)
` As you can see, this double-pager image symbolizes such things as the fact that I hate it when people are made to think they are crazy, and are determined to prove that they're not. ...And an advertisement to the same effect.
` (Ya might want to click on it.)

` ...And I bet you thought that jokes could only be told in words, didn't you? Would that be called a 'symbolization' of jokes?
` It also symbolizes the fact that I never use fixative out of fear that it will ruin the paper. ...Yeah. This is also doubly bad because many people have ruined a lot of my drawings by running their fingers over them! I'm serious! God, why do people do that!?!?? Can't they see they're smudging them all over? GRAAAAAHHH! What could I dooo?

` ...Where was I? Oh yes. So yes, that's Dexter. He has a lab, too, ergo the name Dexter's Laboratory. In fact, the lab itself is a source of much conflict in the series. (Boy, this picture is way-enlarged!)

` In fact, the episode that got me hooked was the first one I saw - Episode 138. It goes a little bit like this:
` "...In a more docile setting, more timid creatures dwell and work. It is here that the discovery of a creature living in secret concealment has occurred, in artifices not seen anywhere else in the world, a new class of creature, Dexterious homogenius. Although pale from lack of exposure to the sun, we call him Blackfoot.
` (Dexter is obsessively adjusting something with a wrench.)
` One thing has excluded our reasoning of knowledge of this habit. Perhaps it is a genetic defect.
` ...There is always an element of danger.
` BOOM!
` He runs around (on fire), high-pitched chanting, perhaps for rain, or good fortune, or to the spirits themselves, before finally collapsing in ecstasy.
` ...He likes to procreate (build), and grunts afterward in self-gratification. Amaaaazing.

` Unbeknownst to him, a more dangerous, cunning predator is nearby. Deedicus deedicus, which we have affectionately dubbed 'Slim', is a wizard of stealth. She uses a high-pitched squeal to disable him. With the speed and accuracy that Blackfoot had created it (a robot), Slim destroys it.

` The only time Blackfoot leaves his lair is to forage for food. ...He is knocked out of the running by the larger and more agile creatures. Yet it is common for smaller and weaker creatures to be left to pick over scraps. But to no avail, he returns defeated, to the sanctity and solitude of his lair.
` ...Hygeine is also important to this creature. Observe as he removes his outer protective covering to expose his more delicate inner covering. He captures another nearby creature, squeezes a substance fom his head, and works it into a fine lather. Ha! That tickles!
` Before we could observe this amazing event further, he discovers us. Realizing that we may lose track of him, we give chase.
` Notice the lower left corner.... His ear tag says 'BF1138'!

` Perhaps someday, we will find him again and explore even deper into the still mostly unknown world of... Blackfoot!

` ...Yeah. Is it any wonder that I was curious enough to keep watching? In fact, this habit went on for almost two whole months! It's sad. I was so bad at killing the pain in any other way that I'd become a Dexter Junkie!!
` Argh!
` As you have probably surmised, Dexter has a sister whose name is Dee Dee. Her talent is being annoying and cute. Nevertheless, she holds her own.

` Though Dee Dee is mentally inferior, Dexter observes that she nevertheless displays remarkably human-like behavior. ...Which apparently doesn't include gawking at things and going "Ooooh!"

` Dex is also quite gifted at talking down to her. For example: "I have been blessed weeth superior intellect and hyou have not... and I weep for hyou. But seence you are my seester, I shall have to aseest you on your quest to find a mind. Eet will be a difficult task, but I weel not stop unteel I fill that gaping hole in your head."
` Strange writers, those are.
` Unfortunately for Dexter, Dee Dee really likes to play in his lab, and so he must dismiss her insultingly;

` ...Or deter her in equally insulting ways, depending on the situation;

` In one episode, however, he put a new brain in Dee Dee's head - not that she really had any to begin with. In order to electrify the synapses, he generated a static charge by dragging his feet across the rug.... Unfortunately, her newfound intellect spelled disaster for him!
` See... the fact that his projects could backfire was supposed to be funny. Like the time he turned himself old and was mistaken for their grandpa!

` I wrote down this one piece of dialogue between Dexter and Dee Dee:
` "Thank you Da-da."
` "Dee dee."
` "Doo doo?"
` "Dee dee!"
` "Oh.... Thank you, Billy!"

` Even before I saw this... interesting cartoon, I knew I wanted to have a secret lab like Dexter's, with a sentient computer and everything! ...Even if the computer was belligerant from time to time.

` And, like Dexter (and Invader Zim, for that matter), I've always been really freaked out by things like the craziness that can be found at Chuck E. Cheese - despite my never having been to one (thank soup!).

` Don'tcha love his use of calculations? I put that in there, actually, because I like doing that a bunch. Similarly, he is careful to figure out his chances of being injured if he goes outside and plays sports.

` Unfortunately, sometimes he must put those calculations to the test....

` And, have you noticed some physical characteristic about him that makes no sense at all?

` That's right - his glasses follow the edges of his eyes! Why is that!!!

` Remarkably (or not), it makes no sense at all!

` Why are cartoons like that?
` What is the logic?
` How does it fit into cartoon laws of physics?


` In any case, I'm sure he gets it from his dad....



` Now, some of you may think of me - at least, me six years ago - as insane or obsessive for filling so much of my sketchbook with images of this show.
` Not so.
` Of course, cartoons are much easier to draw than other shows, which is good because you only get to view a given picture a couple of times, and under these conditions I have not been nearly as successful at drawing what I see. No, not even with nature programs! (Late Night talk shows, maybe, because people tend to stay put.)
` On top of that, when you actually see them in real life, you realize that these pictures are actually quite small. Hence, I was able to fit a bunch on one page, along with a lot of other drawings, which are pending.
` Yes, there were some other drawings I kept myself busy with as well as writing down some of the bizarre satirical dialogue from the show. This has got to be the craziest:
` "Say, puppet Pal Clem, you look sexy in your puppet pal jeans."
` "Thanks puppet pal Mitch, you sure look sexy in your puppet pal jeans."

` That's... just... wrong!!

` Gee, Dexter sure looks miserable in many of these drawings. To be sure, he's had more fun at Amish Camp....

` Bwaaa haaaaa!!!

` And now, the end theme, just for you:

` Enter at your own peril... past the vaulted door. Where impossible things may happen that the world's never seen before...
` In Dexter's LAB'ra-to-ry!
` Lives the smartest boy, you've ever SEEN!
` But Dee Dee blows his experiments, to smitheREENS!
` There is gloom and doom while things go boom....
` In Dexter's LAAAB!


` Fin.

5 comments:

Galtron said...

Dexterriffic! Good to know something... er... interesting came out of those rough times! ...Also good to know you had jpegs of these, or otherwise you couldn't upload them at all and nobody would be able to know about their Dextery Greatness.

...Oh yeah, and that was also the first episode of Dexter I saw! For a while there I thought he was named Blackfoot until the next episode!

Galtron said...

By the way I wanted to ask -- what's with the evil rabbit?

S E E Quine said...

` It was the original picture that was on this post and was supposed to have something to do with using an evil army of Dexters, only I didn't write the post that way.
` So it looks entirely out of place. Maybe.

` ...Also, wanna know something really retarded? I also discovered that I have Adobe ImageReady, which could have opened the Adobe files anyway!
` I could kick myself!!!

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