Saturday, July 15, 2006

What else is going on in Blogging World?

` This post originated on May, 25, 2006. Nearly two months later, I present to you its public debut, with an addition in square brackets, due to its loss of freshness over time.

` There certainly is a bunch of strangeness going on here in the world of writing. A couple of weeks ago, I had written a very strange song after Poetry Night at Zippy's about Charlie the Tuna, which I dubbed 'Last Chance to Slaughter Me!' Unfortunately, I forget how the melody goes, though here are some of the potential lyrics:

A suicidal talking tuna fish,
Who didn't ever get his lifelong wish,
All he wanted was to be one of the doomed,
A food product anonymously consumed,
The rest of him to be disposed,
That's what he always had proposed.
He's lived a full life, without early death,
Cursed at Starkist with his dying breath....

` It eventually goes into what Nymphomaniac had suggested, where Charlie is actually part of a cult, conditioning his children to want to be slaughtered by Starkist, and at some point they firebomb Bumblebee Tuna.
` I just can't figure out a good rhyme for 'diabolical fanatics'....

` Which reminds me, Cassie D. has also posted a very... unusual poem (albeit not nearly as disturbing).

` This is also interesting - The Swill Man has made a significant discovery in the world of Nintendo (or Famicom): According to Shigero Miyamoto (from my own SMW game guide Mario Mania):

` ..."We usually have lots of ideas that we haven't been able to implement yet. A good example is Yoshi the dinosaur who just appeared in Super Mario World. We wanted to have Mario ride a dinosaur ever since we finished the original Super Mario Bros., but it was impossible technically. We were finally able to get Yoshi off the drawing boards with the Super NES."
` Somehow, I don't think that is true: The Swill Man has found damning evidence to the contrary! (...Which turns out to be an April Fool's Day joke.)

` By the way, I found a most bizarre blog post by Cenk Uygur, a 'Young Turk', sometime last year. Apparently, the Religious Right was fighting against the vaccination for cervical cancer.
` That is really weird!! (And scary because it's true!)
` Scariness aside, what post about other blogs would be complete without giving an example of Jason's curiosity [and/or quirkiness] or Amber's curmudgeoniness? As Aaron's blog has gone down the toilet, I cannot link to his cute little adorable post about how the python exploded the alligator's stomach, causing feuds between two organizations of reptiles. So, I picked this one at random.

` Speaking of Random, Monado is sure to give some interesting-yet-random science updates on her blog.
` My former roommate EdgeWalker is pretty awesome at photography, and lucky for him, he has a really Nice Digital Camera (NDC - unfortunately, someone stole all his other lenses!!). I like what he did with this hi-res panorama....

[` Apparently, his blog is gone now. It's a shame - that was a REALLY GOOD picture! Though, I've found an even more entertaining blog: Check out
Crabcake's Cowpie Field! Pretty much anywhere you scroll, it's full of zany adventures!
` Speaking of Zany, the good people at the Huffington Post like to make fun of all the outrageous things going on in Washington. For example, a seemingly random bunch of backwater locations has somehow made it onto the 'Terror Target List'.
` Really.

One business owner who learned from a reporter that a company named Amish Country Popcorn was on the list was at first puzzled. The businessman, Brian Lehman, said he owned the only operation in the country with that name.

“I am out in the middle of nowhere,” said Mr. Lehman, whose business in Berne, Ind., has five employees and grows and distributes popcorn. “We are nothing but a bunch of Amish buggies and tractors out here. No one would care.”

But on second thought, he came up with an explanation: “Maybe because popcorn explodes?”

` Hee hee... that Eric Lipton....

` Also, I think a recent post of Buddha Girl's is funny: It contains a priceless explanation to her students about the definition of 'pimp':
"Does anyone know what a pimp is?"

Listen for misled youth to answer that it's some cool motherfucker who's got bling bling and copious bitches at his beck and call. Note that being a bitch, in this context, is a supposed good thing.

"Not so much, kids. A pimp is usually a man although there ARE women pimps, who 'employ' women or men to sell their bodies on the streets for money. These people are notably known as hookers or whores. They perform sexual acts with strangers, get paid, and then GIVE that money to their pimp. The pimp does nothing but take the money."

Silence. Dead damn silence in the classroom.

"Does anyone in here want to be a pimp? Does anyone in here want to date a pimp?"

More silence followed by the sound of many blinking eyes of middle school students.

"I didn't think so. I don't want to hear any of the following from any of you: pimp, ho, whore. Got it? Good."
` What else? Well, you know how people post quizzes on their blogs? I shall not... although this one I definitely recommend: It takes less than a minute to fill out! Go ahead and try Dr. Joe's HILARIOUS Quiz!
` Also, if you're in the mood for a filmstrip, go to the Google search engine and type in 'Asshole'. Instead of hitting the 'Search' button, hit the 'I'm Feeling Lucky' button.
` Golly gee! This is even funnier than last time....]


` There are more items that I could list, but I don't want to overwhelm you. So, I guess now would be a good time to wrap it up. And so, in closing I want to say that I am proud to be a monkey!

3 comments:

Galtron said...

Ha ha ha!! I like that quiz! Strangely, it makes me feel better somehow.....

And I agree, Charlie the Tuna has a serious mental problem... Must be all the mercury that's saturated his fatty tissues!

S E E Quine said...

` Why, that makes perfect sense: Charlie actually died of Mercury poisoning!

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