Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Face it: I'm a morning person

` Especially when there's a blinding patch of sunlight to wake me up: That's my cue to commence tanning - unless there are train tracks to assemble, which generally there aren't.

` After that, I feel like like a million bucks, so I roll around naked in my secret friends, the Franklin clones.

` Then, I get dressed and put my clones back in their box - which locks with this piece of soap! (Yes, that is actually soap!)

` After I've eaten breakfast and am all ready to go, I walk around in search for the source of any explosions I've heard the night before.
` Just today I've managed to strike gold - apparently, someone had tried to bomb the Chevron Station! Luckily they missed.... (Yow! Look at the gas prices!)

` After wandering around for a while, I head on downtown. Usually, I walk right past this building on Colby Avenue and Wall Street:

` Bwaaa haaa haaa!!!!! Well, there was another sign that could potentially be funny, though I'd have to Photoshop it before that happened. And I don't have Photoshop. (Yes, I forgot already how to cut and paste with GIMP. Weird.)
` Now, if I've passed Peed Hall, I've also gone past what used to be World Bean Internet Cafe. Apparently, the fact that it had no computers caused the mole-people to come up from the sewers and destroy it....

` (That reminds me, there used to be a plasma center that someone burned down. I should go take a picture of the twisted, melted sign....)

` A little further down Colby is a shop called Moonflower Magicks... which I've actually had the courage to go inside of once. They sell things such as idols, spell books and magic wands... I am not making this up!

` Nearby, there used to be a statue of two people... it looked like one was giving the other a blow job. Apparently, this is the reason it was replaced with this boring hunk of rock....

` I haven't even been able to find any pictures on the internet of the former statue, and I think the reason why is the obscenity. If Lou were here, he'd say; "Prudes!"
` As weird as this town is, I'm telling you; Everett is also evil, for here is one of the most evil locations in the world: McBastard'sTM!

` And what's particularly interesting about this McBastard's? And why am I posting more than one photo of it?
` Well! This was once my personal source of evil! ...Oh look at the cute little State Route sign!

` *Ahem*... anyway, this McBastard's once supplied me with lots of evil and greed, even though I never once set foot in it. And just how did that work? Well... let me refresh your memory... notice that McBastard's is on the corner... and that garage is the one I almost rented out the lower left portion of....

` Just a little bit further... See that gray house? Yep, that was where I lived once! In fact, I used my Evilness AntennaTM to drain the evil off the McBastard's. I even used the McBastard's parking lot as my own personal driveway!
` *Sigh*... I had all that great evilness at my fingertips....

` ...Though now, despite the fact that I live in the abode of a superhero, I live near an even bigger source of evil: An absofriggin huge McBastard's!

` Anyway... usually while I'm off walking I don't even go around McBastard's at all. Usually I gravitate towards the Co-Op, which would probably also sell magic wands if they could get a licence.
` If I go to the Co-Op, I usually buy a little something and eat it there because I don't eat much before going out.
` It's only by the time that I manage to get back home from my walk/errands that I generally bother going online. And if I'm lucky, I'll see something interesting... like my face on Crabby's blog!
` This time, me and those other people (and statues) apparently have 'Relationship Brain Boogers'.
` I likee.

` Oh, that Crabby.... After much blogginess, I start looking at my e-mail and putting things in my own blog. And then... onto other stuff, which may or may not involve the use of my computer.
` I really need to start editing that video tape... Arrrrghhh!

` Real exciting daily routine, huh?

` By the way, I really hope you enjoy my Crappy Digital Photos (CDPs)... before my trip to Eastern Washington, the latch on the battery door busted open so I have to squeeze the hell out of the camera to even keep it turned on! It's a real bitch.
` I'd use duct tape, but I don't know what I'll do when I have to replace the batteries - sticking duct tape over a spot that's already had duct tape on it doesn't work so well, and I'm not sure if it will come clean.
` Grah. Well, I am currently overdue for lunch, so if you'll excuse me....


Joey M. said...

That's tres mucho mazoola you got there. You sure you should be trusting a piece of soap to protect it from being stolen?

Galtron said...

...With that amount of change, you can probably afford a digital camera that is not only nice, but doesn't have a crappy battery door!!!

S E E Quine said...

1: Yes, I trust that piece of soap with my life!!!

2: You'd think....

Aaron said...

Goodness Spoony, that money picture is on the verge of being naughty.

S E E Quine said...

` I know, I know... those Franklins are little expositioners, aren't they?

monado said...

What a coincidence! The battery door on my digital camera no longer latches. I find that a strategically placed elastic keeps the door more-or-less closed and alleviates my worries about the battery falling out, while still letting me operate all the buttons. But I'm going to take it to be repaired soon—before the warranty runs out or it gets so old they don't have parts any more, whichever comes first.

S E E Quine said...

` Good idea, Monado! I bet a rubber band would work with mine!!

Cherrie said...

I've been to Seattle and Everett a few times, but I've never seen it like you have!

The first picture woke me up! And I must admit that, in all my naked escapades, I've never rolled around in Franklins, real or Monopoly money.

See, there are always new fields to conquer!

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