Wednesday, June 28, 2006

My life is a Grooviness Factory

` Really, it is. La de da!! I'm the embodiment of Groovy! I'm also very tan now: Today was the nth day in a row where it was hot and sunny, and I believe that I am nearly finished with my new, super-duper lineless tan.
` I guess that's a little bit groovy. Also, because our apartment has been in need of a heavy-duty cleaning (and neither of us is particularly enthusiastic about doing it ourselves), this girl I'll call Australis was going to come over and destroy some grossness in exchange for money, which she needs. It's a good deal for all of us.
` She had almost made it over here today when her car was wounded on 26th and Wetmore. Ouch. So close! But she's okay!
` So I guess that's like... minus grooviness! Nevertheless, this is easily compensated by the End-All to the Most Grooviness:
` B-Unitt can see out of both eyes now!
` As you may be able to glean from the little mark over his left eyebrow, B-rad's skull had been bashed in with a tire iron by some crazy mugger, and his doctor said the optic nerve was dead, never to return.
` ...And yet, today he was shocked and amazed after staring at a 200-watt bulb for a while: He noticed that he could see! And surprisingly well, too!
` It's a miracle - his optic nerve has risen! Hallelujah!!

` Yes indeed... well, what other things of lesser grooviness have gone on lately? Yesterday, the very awesome Dandruff (Jake) had come over, wearing his awesomely cute pink scarf.
` I almost asploded. And picked at his arm. Never mind....
` I also bought some food and we ate it. He shared his strawberry lemonade with me. I also shared with him the greatness that is Barnes and Barnes... as well as Joey.
` Meanwhile, the mechanic was searching far and wide to find suitable fuel lines for my Burgundy Rectangle. He'd managed to find them before they befell the same scary fate as my brake lines.
` Just tonight I have discovered Dandruff's latest blog post (June 25, Gay Day). It's soooo cute. Wanna read it? It's totally gay!
` I must say, this is one of the wuzziest blogs I've ever seen! It's also the most confusing. Check out his March 19th entry:

10:57 pm: My favoritest Wendizzle came over last night... :) She brought her friend Judy with her, whom immediately proclaimed that I had a great face because my nose is dead center. Thanks Judy!!! We had good times... Wendy and I played cards. I like cards... and people who play cards. We then went and bought pie, and cooked said pie, and said pie was yummy to my tummy. We then watched The Birdcage while waiting for said pie to cook. Oh, and Wendizzle? I feel rather flustered, and I hate to tell you this Wendy, but... Well, my parents ate New Jersey. I'm so sorry to be the bearer of such bad and horrific news. I know you wanted me to eat New Jersey, but they beat me to it. But eating New Jersey just wouldn't have been the same without you.
` Eat New Jersey? I'm not sure I want to know, but there you are.
` Ohhhh... what else has been going on? I know there's more!! Ah yes... The Fan. Lou and I bought it at Target (tar-ZHEY) because of the overwhelming hotness - despite the lack of humidity as one would expect in... say... Ohio. Or Florida. The Fan fell over flat onto a storage container and one of the blades busted off.
` There was no turning it back on without it trying to escape one's grasp, so today we returned it and bought another at Fred Meyer for only five dollars more.
` We're giving it a chance the next time hot weather strikes. Personally, I recommend making juice to supplement the moving air.
` For example, the grapefruit-cherry-kale-apple-tomato-carrot-pear juice that Lucas had made last night. It looked like something out of the classic Dan Aykroyd SNL sketch, 'Ravco Super Bass-O-Matic 76', though it tasted like... grapefruit, cherries, kale, apples, tomatoes, carrots, and pears!
` Also, I think it's naughty that I can't read your typical Nature article... unless perhaps I were to find a university library.
` O, Nature! Why must you hide these articles from me? They look so... interesting! ` For example:

Molecular phylogeny: My sister is a sea squirt?

Apologies to my sister Fiona. She can be reassured that Ciona – not Fiona – is a sea squirt; Fiona is a genus of sea slug.

P Holland1

` Isn't that just... adorable? And, I think it's an interesting subject - apparently, the title implies that vertebrates are a sister group to sea squirts! (Not that this is exactly surprising....)

` Also, be sure to see this most hilarious post by Dr. Nociceptor, notably featuring a bunch of teenagers, some of whom apparently didn't know how to study for a report on dodgeball.
` I almost peed my pants!
` So, if you plan to look at it, I'd suggest following Towelie's advice - and no, it has nothing to do with getting high.

` Well, I really must be going! I was up at 7:30 this morning and I'm very tired now. Night-night!


Wed-nes-day said...

Hate to be a spoil-sport, but your posting is a tad futuristic. . . .

It's JUNE 28, WED-NES-DAY......

You've been slurping the waters of the ancient confused, again....haven't you. ;)

Sorry I was out when you called yesterday....Was out on the town - Ryan's - with Internationally known poet.

S E E Quine said...

` An internationally known poet? Who?

` And how the hell did I get the month of that post wrong? Well... I guess it was because the Sea Squirt thing was the only thing in this post at first... and it was from a while ago... and when I changed the date, I didn't do it correctly.
` I suppose that late at night, 'Jun' looks a lot like 'Jul'!

` ...That and the ancient mineral water of the confused.

` Thanks, Wed-nes-day!

Anonymous said...

Won't name drop, but he wrote an anthology: INSPIRATION FROM THE INNER "I". Metaphysical etc.
He just had his 84th bday. He's kewl.

Galtron said...

So staring at 200 watt bulbs are bad when you have good eyesight, but can resurrect eyesight if you don't have it?

S E E Quine said...

` As illogical as it would sound, apparently it does! B-rad closed his "good" eye and could tell us how many fingers we were holding up, etc!

` ...Flashing infrared LEDs can also prevent ethanol blindness.

monado said...

Very good news on the optic nerve! How long ago did the injury happen. Damn muggers! Did you ever think about taking up martial arts? For one thing, you'll be in such good shape that you can outrun the b*stards! I don't KNOW anyone who's been mugged.

So the stimulation is good—use it or lose it. See Oliver Sacks in "A Leg to Stand on"—he could only conceive of moving a neurologically damaged limb after he'd done it.

You know if you lose the optic nerve for both eyes, you lose all visual memories and all concept of vision? Scary.

S E E Quine said...

` OH MY GOD!! You lose all memories of vision!? How can that be!?
` Indeed, I hear that resisting rehabilitation for a paralyzed limb is common among stroke victims.
` ...This explains the Silver Springs monkeys, who totally ignored and even chewed off their arms in which only the motor nerves were intact but not the perception nerves. They only learned to move them when they were painfully forced to.
` Poor monkeys!!!

` ...Anyway, I think B-rad was mugged only about six or seven months ago. It was the first time he'd ever been beaten by anyone, reason being that this wasn't a fight; it was an ambush!
` They got the first blow in, smashed his skull, then shattered his elbow and his wrist when he tried to defend himself.
` It could happen to anyone, whether or not they can fight.

` As for me and my fighting abilities, I get free karate lessons from Sensei Lou Ryan!

Galtron said...

This whole thing makes me wonder what effect staring at the sun would have?

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