Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Vacation from Crazies AND School?

It's been so vacationy, I've almost taken a vacation from uploading my photos, and, by extension, making blog posts with photos. That's a silly thing to do, considering how many oddities have been building up in this draft -- watch out, it's gonna blooooowwwww!
` On a more serious note, this blog's dependency on photos seems to reflect on my own bloglaziness for this blog rather than the constant chaos I'm used to enduring. Really, I ought to devote more time to my blogs/Corrigendopedia more, considering how much time I'm not devoting to school. (Still practicing my Spanish, though!)
` Interestingly, some of my blog commenters have asked questions about the photos, or about something written in the first paragraph, even though the answer is vividly described in the text. (Some of you know who you are, so hang your heads in shame!) So, I got this crazy idea -- why not write posts with almost no photos at all? Ayyyyyy!

mar-apr 017 Two months of training gets you pretty yellow!

For those of you reading this, gasp in horror. For those of you who have stopped reading at the word 'vacationy', I don't blame you, since I agree that it's a terrible adjective. I'm thinking of changing my approach to this blog again, back to what I was originally going to do years ago before my life continually went to hell on a regular basis in some way or another.
` That is, to put all my journal posts on the S E E Quine Anomalous World website, and for the ones that don't have photos, or at least don't have photos hosted on Flickr, use my Flickr photos, and build my Abnormally Humorous Photo Gallery.
` I should probably take down the few old things I put on there first and completely start over. After all, I do have that website saved on my computer, not that there's even that much to save, and it should be easy to re-organize into the way I want. Easy, yes, and time maybe incredibly time-consuming as well!

Is this a sign that I'm bored and don't have anything else to do with all my spare time? Or is it because I'm really interested in getting faster and more confident at writing so that I can avoid failing English a third time, and maybe even have a career in which writing is an important part?
` It's hard to tell at this stage.
` Nevertheless, I present to you... where I left off, wayyy back, on:

March 19, 2011:

It's Saturday night, and what a strange evening it's been! Strange in itself is the fact that I took my newest roommate (Jen) with me to the Hunan Palace to meet some friends: The last time I've done this is years ago on the day we'd met, except, that night ended with her storming out of the restaurant because she'd thought I had been arguing with her! (In reality, I had been trying to explain that I wasn't arguing with her.)
` On my Corrigendopedia website, I used this as an example of human defense mechanisms (although I won't bother linking to it since I'm also about to re-organize that website as well), and now that she's my roommate, I've found that she has quite a large number of them! Luckily, I've never been so foolish as to discuss anything with her again, but instead, I prefer to be entertained by 'Miss Know-it-All' (now henceforth referred to as 'MKIA').

I shouldn't be bringin' her down, though. She's actually cool sometimes. She even has been known to wash dishes! WOW! Anyway, it's been such a long way we've come from the Hunan Palace the first time!

And what of the Hunan Palace this time? Well, I didn't even really talk to MKIA that much, but I did spend a lot of time talking with this woman named Donna, who said that she had two suitcases full of sex toys in the trunk of her car because she has to make sure her 16 year old daughter isn't around when she carries them upstairs.

This is me, Donna and Michael:

mar-apr 041 At the Hunan Palace

Being a member of Fet Life, she described all kinds of... stimulating things, including electricity, urethral poles, and even flaming alcohol (though presumably not electrified urethral poles flaming with electrified alcohol)! One guy, she said, was so relaxed while she was setting fire to alcohol on his genitals that he fell asleep. Another guy, a homosexual who was horrified by vaginas, screamed in horror when, right after some bondage fun, he was unblindfolded just in time to see a fist exit a vagina right in front of his face!
` Scream in horror if you've gotten this far!
` A funny story was about the time a State Highway Patrolman in Montana pulled up when they had a flat tire, a bull whip in the backseat, and tons of other scary-looking things in a bag strapped to the roof. That was a close one! She also told of a FetLife get-together where they bought items from a dollar store, made them into sex toys, and then used all of them! Her ball-whacker, for example, is made from a lotion bottle.

Although she told me lots of things I didn't think of to ask about the lifestyle o' fetishes, my favorite story was when she was in a cowboy bar with some women friends and the tampon machine was open, so they went into the men's restroom, wet the tampons and stuck them to the ceiling above the toilet!
` They waited outside the restroom, and guys kept going in and coming back out until finally, one screamed and ran out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles and a tampon on his shoulder.
` Donna and her friends were thrown out. Gee, can't they take a practical joke?

After that story, Jake arrived and I squealed and hugged him. Poor Jake. The stuff he puts up with from me!

Here's me, Jake and Michael. Alex was going to come, but she decided not to.

mar-apr 044 Jake and Mike are right behind me!

Then, I got a fortune cookie, which said, "Your talents will prove to be especially useful tomorrow." (Picture, too.) Donna and I looked at each other and laughed hysterically.

On the way back, I made sure I didn't wind up chatting much with MKIA by playing my Pink Floyd CD, starting with one song I heard at karaoke. Made the wrong turn to the gas station, though, when I was below the last line on the gas gauge! Speaking of gas, I'm almost out of it myself! What else can I think to write?

Oh yeah -- my fiance Lucas already has his computer back from Director Random, so he's not using mine anymore. Yay! The sad part? The others had bailed on the project Random had been working on. FAIL!

Hey, check out these gratuitous cute cat pictures -- here's Vada hiding from Rusty behind a tiny box:

mar-apr 049 Rusty swats at Vada...

And here's Rusty on his ShelfBed displaying his big boy teefs that are growing in:

mar-apr 053 Rusty yawn!

Thursday, March 24:

On Wednesday I did an audition for Lucas' Eastwood-Carey Scale, which he made to help actors know whether they should act more deadpan like Clint Eastwood, or more extreme like Jim Carrey. (Never mind that Jim Carrey has been pretty 'extreme' in other ways, but that's another story!)
` My audition footage is going to be used as a 'good' auditioner, in contrast with a really bad one, because I'm too tall for the part that's being auditioned for. Believe it or not, this is my dream come true -- actually being portrayed on camera as a good example compared to someone else! All expenses-paid ego trip! W00t!
` One of the bad auditioners, a high-school aged girl, gets the part of a scantily-clad cue card-holder who makes out with this hot guy. Considering her reaction to getting this part, Lucas described her as a "super-virgin", and then today on the phone, she described herself as a "super-virgin"!
` We had a good laugh about this, and that's why I'm writing this to you now, before I forget!

Also today, we had outdoor karate -- that's MKIA and Alex.

mar-apr 067 Karate outside today

I kept falling down because I suck balancing on a hill and have barely any feeling in my feet. I was starting to feel so self-conscious until my giant kitten Rusty, who was climbing in the yellow-flowered bush, lost his footing and wound up hanging in an awkward position.

Also yesterday, the employee at the gym who had told me there had been too many complaints about me turning off TVs when the 'no turning off TV' signs went up (a likely story), told me this time that he was closing up early because I'm the only one there.
` He's the only one who's done this to me before, so I told this to a different employee who said that's not right, and that he would tell management so that they wouldn't think this complaint had come from me. ("Not Sara again!")

Friday, March 25:

Today I felt a bit nervous about letting Rusty out of the house by himself because of the bald eagles I've been seeing, so this was a somewhat comforting sight:

mar-apr 072 Eagle harassed by crows!

Then, I threw Rusty into the neighbor's yard so he would meet Tanner the Amazing Yapping Dog! Rusty actually chased him around -- Tanner is hiding between the two flowerpots in the upper left:

mar-apr 079 Rusty chasing Tanner

Before long, Tanner was frantically scratching at the door -- LOLOL!

mar-apr 082 Open the door! Quick!

After Rusty came back, I took him for another kind of exploration -- at the vet's office! He was such a good boy, climbing and exploring. He's actually only 9.5 pounds and eight months old, which is a little older and lighter than I'd thought. I wonder if Vada has shrunk? Now I have doubts as to whether Rusty will turn into a Towering Giant Cat!
` He didn't cry at all until the mean vet stabbed him with needles! He's lying on my office floor right now -- just took a big sigh and put his chin directly on the carpet. So tuckered out -- and tomorrow, for the first time, I will show him the horrors of Advantage flea control! Luckily, he'll be in good company with Vada.

April 1, 2011:

I was quite amazed at the way Vada and Rusty didn't freak out and try to run away from their shoulder regions when I applied the Advantage. Oh, got you -- April Fools'! But, there have been some unusual things going on that really are sort of unbelievable.

No, not the indoor swordfighting with roomies Troy and MKIA:

mar-apr 102 Thwack! Thwack!

Or the fact that Troy beat Lucas!

mar-apr 103 Troy slays Lucas!

First, I'll start with the most believable one:

The shoot for the E-C scale went PERFECT! Also, the super-virgin was going insane with the hot dancer guy apparently, and her mom seemed so amused! I didn't see that, though, as I only stopped by to bring the food. Basically, I got up with very little sleep, followed Lucas' instructions for cooking the burgers/veggie burgers and chicken, and brought it over -- Lucas said the burgers were PERFECT! Cool. I've never even cooked burgers before!

mar-apr 105 They really liked the burgers I cooked!

I did, however, get to hang out with Lucas, Director Random, Actor-Playing-the-Director Big Hair Mark, and the actors playing the actors. Confused? You should be. And it's comedy gold. It'll be on YouTube just as fast as it can be edited!

mar-apr 106 Random, the real director, Mark the fake director, and Lucas

As I was leaving, I remember kissing Lucas good-bye, and then saying bye to Mark, who also puckered up, and I almost fake-kissed him! LOL! Don't tempt me, Mark!

Want to know something even more unbelievable? Lucas just told me that Ex-Roommate, Restraining-Order Rick, has showed up a couple nights ago, but left when he saw Lucas. WHAT A CREEP! He just won't go away!! Lucas is actually just now about to email Rick's friend, Rick Alden of Skullcandy, about this new development.
` Well, if he does anything funny, I have a feeling Rusty might attack. He regularly takes on the couch, which is hundreds of times his size!

mar-apr 115 Rusty bites the couch!

Also two nights ago, Lucas' muscles have been acting up (different problem, same amount of impediment) for the first time since November. I had to get him some Somas because he seized up in the middle of karate class and was in so much pain he couldn't move.
` All the clinics were closed, so he tried to call a doctor, couldn't get through to any, so then he started calling around until he was able to indirectly get ahold of Mona, the sister-in-law of Ex-Roommate Stinky Johnny.
` MKIA was so cool, she went with me and made sure I didn't get lost in the pouring rain. This was particularly necessary because my brain wasn't working to begin with. Mona was there with her insane, controlling husband (I should call him Stinky Joe) who wanted to make sure that Lucas didn't come, and to pocket Mona's money. He was all nice to me, too, but I know he's just being an asshole.
` Then, we went to Taco Bell for Lucas and cashed in on the fact that they gave him the wrong order last time. Ha! Believe it or not, MKIA said, to the guy who must have been the manager, that Lucas was on the manager's list, and he said, "Oh yes, Lucas, three double-decker taco supremes, coming right up!" I'm impressed!
` After we got home with all that, Lucas was able to move again, he wasn't in horrible pain, and he was able to get some food in himself.

Most of the rest of the time in my life, there's been so much to do, so little time that I actually feel like doing it, but I keep plugging along anyway even when I feel so tired. Lucas is also very busy with gardening, planting seeds. I took a picture of a three-leafed watermelon sprout, which struck me as odd, considering that it's a dicot, not a tricot. In fact, there's no such thing as a tricot... maybe it's a mutant?

mar-apr 125 Is this what you call a 'tricot'?

April 3, 2011:

I really need to practice my Spanish more. Went to Las Margaritas, which is near the crackhouse I used to live at, and that helped. Alex was there, we talked about all sorts of things. Finishing up the evening, one of the employees was watching this show called Sabado Gigante where guys were picking up girls by prancing around on stage half-naked. I'd make a joke, but I'm not sure which direction to go....

mar-apr 128 At Las Margaritas

Something else also unbelievable and annoying is the fact that Lucas went down to the cabinet shop dumpster to get some firewood, and some guy with an ENORMOUS truck had completely overloaded his truck bed with wood scraps. He said, "Oh, I just heard of this place last week -- I'll be out of your way in just a minute."
` Now, a rational person would think this means, "I'll be out of your way in just a minute SO THAT you can have some wood, which is obviously the only reason you came here." Apparently, what he really meant was, "I'll be out of your way in just a minute so that you can see that I'm not going to let you have ANY of this wood, and you'll just have to go somewhere else."
` Lucas deduced this because the man then proceeded to climb inside the dumpster, completely empty it out, and then somehow manage to shove it all into his overflowing truck bed.
` Not willing the jeapordize the general public's dumpster privileges, Lucas could only sit there and think to himself, "Yeah, thanks buddy, you think you got enough?"

April 4, 2011:

Turns out that Rick hasn't been stalking us anymore because he's in Colorado. Evidently, that was just some other stalker. But who?

In other news, I'm anxious, moody, and sick as hell of listening to Andrew snore all day below my office. He probably won't get up until three in the afternoon, so that he doesn't have to wait very long before he can start drinking again.
` Considering all that, snoring is my only complaint with him. He is actually in AA and doesn't want anyone to have problems because of his drinking, so, that's cool. The snoring, well, he can't help that because he's asleep, so what can I do but find something else to do?

BTW, my cats are pussies! They're so afraid of Roberta's dog TJ when she comes over!

mar-apr 135 Our cats afraid of little ol' TJ?!

April 7, 2011:

I've been kind of under the weather, but am now getting better -- I went to the doctor's and had a very draining experience just sitting there for an hour and a half... just for the doctor to tell me what's going on with my ear is blocked sinus... and so then I had to go home to experience some sinus draining! Lol!

Then I went to the gym (in the daytime!), practiced some Spanish, did karate, and despite very sore legs stayed afterward to practice Fukyu Kata Dai-san. Then, as always we moved the couch back across the room with Rusty riding on top, barely seeming to notice, then enjoyed a lovely sunset in the living room with Lucas and Troy -- Rusty was, rather, enjoying the taste of human flesh.

He also enjoys squeezing into his tiny box while tasting human flesh:

mar-apr 151 Must bite!

In addition to human flesh and boxes, he enjoys frolicking outside and following us around. "Come on, Rusty, you have to go around the bushes to get down here!"

mar-apr 170 You have to go AROUND, Rusty!

He actually did figure it out and raced us to the woods, where he explored a lot whilst meowing at us, just like Violet used to! "Meoooowww!"

mar-apr 177 Rusty has pounced...

He even ran so fast that he beat us back to the house! "What took you so long?"

mar-apr 184 Rusty's waiting for me!

What a precious little duvvy!

April 14, 2011:

Last night was full of hysterical laughter -- Lucas had laid down across the bed, on his side, facing the foot of the bed so that I'd have to wake him up when I came to bed (which he recalled this morning). However, when I came into the room, he didn't quite wake up.
` Instead he reeled back in shock, then started talking about something and making a frame with his fingers in front of his face, as if he were talking about shooting a scene, but I couldn't make out much more than, "and then here comes Sara, like this..."
` I was like, WTF? So, I tried waking him up and pulled off the blankets, and told him to get over to his side of the bed since there wasn't room for me. He just said, "Nah," and so after much pushing and shoving, I eventually just pulled the blankets over both of us, and squeezed in between his back and his pile of pillows at the head of the bed.
` After a while, my feet became cold and I tried to get onto my side of the bed, with my cold feet jammed in the backs of his knees. That finally woke him up, and he told me to move. Then I told him, "But Lucas, you're lying across the bed, you move!" And finally he looked up, saw the window was on the wrong wall and then he himself was like, WTF?
` Then, he went off, got a snack, came back, and I told him all about when I had tried waking him up the first time and he said, "You're just making that up!" I then described his hand-motions, and he said, "WHAAAT?"
` Then, he just broke into hysterical laughter and I did, too. His face and my jaws began to hurt, and then our abs began to hurt, so we eventually had to stop laughing lest we start cracking up on a more structural level.

Later today, I took Rusty to the vet for his booster shots. He was eager to explore the room, but, again wasn't happy about being anally penetrated by a thermometer, and cried again when he got stabbed with the big, scary needle.
` There had been three walks-ins who had delayed out appointment, and by the time we got out of there my blood sugar level was so low that I needed food ASAP. So, I stopped at Taco Time drive-thru, and also showed the girl at the window what was strapped in the box at the seat -- a bewildered-looking Rusty.

And before I forget, that same gym employee told me he was closing up 15 minutes early again, because I was the only person on the third floor. I said, "Excuse me?" and he just repeated what he'd said, as if I wasn't obviously pissed off again.
` I was -- not only was that fifteen minutes of cardio really valuable to me, but I was enjoying the quietness of the movie theater when its projector is broken. I was so pissed off that I wanted to call the other employee Lucas and I are friends with and tell him it happened again!
` When I got home, Lucas said, "Luckily, I have his number!" so he had a nice conversation, part of which was about this -- with me cursing loudly in the background -- and it shouldn't happen again! Yay for having people's numbers!

April 15, 2011:

Lucas sunk the advertising deal with the Silvertips guy with Random! W00T! Also, Bob, the guy who wrote Dry Hump City, met with Random and came over to the house. In their playing guitar, Lucas found that his mixing board was gone -- he KNEW that Mike and Joel had stolen something, because Joel had deliberately left something expensive of his. Luckily, it wasn't that incredibly expensive.

Bidness is boomin'!

Well, it's 5:25, better get on my karate gi! Everyone is waiting!

Gratuitous photo of ferry boat at night:

mar-apr 187 Ferry In The Dark

...And through a rainbow!

mar-apr 196 Ferry in rainbow 2

Also, on the 19th, Lucas built this trellis in the garden, behind which Vada is trying to hide from Rusty. Tiny boxes and structures that are mostly holes... somehow he always seems to notice her!

mar-apr 214 Vada and Rusty come join me

Later, I got a picture of Troy's Naruto cards, and then it turned into a party of picture-taking, along with Lauren who was over for another steamy evening. I didn't say that!

mar-apr 219 Troy's Card Mountain!

April 20, 2011:

Today, Lucas and his friends Nate, 'McCagney' and Will went to the Seahawks game. First off, they discovered that Mark, who works the scoreboards, has Seriously Abridged Hair now, so I'll have to call him Formerly Big Hair Mark.
` Cagney, by the way, has changed his name (or at least his internet name) to McCagney, because of a humorous scoreboard flub, thanks to Formerly Big Hair Mark.

Lucas tells me that baseball games are largely about hanging out, chatting and drinking beer, more than they are about baseball. The guys were talking about home-schooling of all things, and this lady with a baby chimed in behind them to agree on something, and then Lucas was like, "Hey, want to get your baby's name on the scoreboard?"
` She thought he was being goofy until he stood up and waved at Formerly Big Hair Mark, then called him on his cell phone. By the time the woman's relatives came back to their seats, they saw the names of Lucas and his pals, as well as the baby's name, Carson, flashing in lights!
` Nate(squatch) -- who is so tall that he unwittingly creates new bigfoot stories every time he goes hiking -- came over to our house and took karate. You should have seen it -- Nate is so agile for being seven feet tall! He actually left his gi at home, but luckily keeps extra clothing in his car, including clothes for work and apparently working out, too. Handy! He'll be back when he figures his schedule out at work. Kewl!

Gratuitous photo of flowers in our yard!

mar-apr 222 Flowers in our yard

April 21, 2011:

The somewhat-dessicated dog poop that Ex-Roommate Mike had not cleaned up off the front lawn when he'd left was mysteriously gone this morning, and a nice crescent wrench, of which Lucas' had also disappeared when Joel and Mike had moved out, also mysteriously appeared among Lucas' tools.
` Mike and Joel, thanks, wherever you are! Now, about that sound mixer....

Today, no one showed up at karate (Alex went to Idaho, Troy is at work or something, and MKIA was told she has bronchitis but doesn't believe it). Upon returning from the store just earlier, Lucas and I saw Rusty in the now dog poop-free front yard, frolicking in the sunshine with Nicodemus, the neighbor's giant gray dust mop. Just then, Andrew exited a car in time to see them.
` Rusty's got a cat friend, yay!

Well, I ran out of pictures, but not out of story! I'll be back with more next week when I'll upload more photos (knock on wood)! There's still a ton that I haven't been able to fit on the page, as I don't want to freeze up anyone's computers when they come here, and you can find them in my March 2011 and April 2011 Flickr sets!

mar-apr 231 A wink and a lick

Bye for now!


Anonymous said...

Wouldn't it be something if you passed Spanish and failed English!

S E E Quine said...

I did, actually!

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