December 2010, Make Way!

December was a month full of strange creatures, strange snowmen, and goofy cats! We shot a commercial and had a bit of par-tay-ing, for all to see!
` It's also a new year and this post is finally ready, despite being too sick to write for a couple days! I'll begin with an adorable picture of Rusty licking my face:

December 1, 2010:

Today, Rusty wasn't sleeping as he usually does when we're doing karate, but instead standing straight beneath me, swatting at my belt! We had to lock him in the bedroom with Vada, where she was sleeping.
` For a while, we heard Rusty cry frantically, and then it stopped. When I opened the bedroom door, Vada was sitting straight up with a troubled look on her face, and the room reeked of kitten diarrhea -- but at least Rusty had picked a good place, on the instruction manual for my calculator.
` Though I had wanted to read the Spanish side again, I was glad, at least, that it didn't get anywhere else! Poor Vada!!!

I knew I shouldn't have let him drink that milk -- I just didn't count on him being away from his litter box when it hit him!


December 2, 2010:

No more karate for Lucas! He's all sad now because he can't do any kind of activity at all until next Tuesday. Also, my school bag smells -- I hope it's not from Rusty.
` Vada seems to be taking it in stride, though, and trying to eat his kitten food as usual....

Rusty's getting to be just as wide as Vada! She's also tolerating him even more, especially when she's asleep!

December 6, 2010:

Found mysterious Christmas presents, from someone named Vicki -- they look old, and Lucas doesn't think that's Troy's mom's name.

Later: Troy informed us that Vicki is actually is his mom's name and the presents didn't get distributed in 2008 because of the snowstorm preventing everyone from coming together, and then got put in storage.

In RustyNews:

Can you just let me out? This kitten is driving me nuts!

Get offa me! I'm try'na sleep up here!

More coffee table highjinks!

Rusty's also a Pit-Licker, just the way Violet used to be!

Rusty playing fetch! Good boy!

December 18, 2010:

Today, Lucas and I did a Commercial Shoot for Hearos ear plugs, my first brand of ear plugs, though I had to stop using them because they were too expensive. I don't remember how well they worked, but according to this biker guy, and this earplug-needing guy, they're not bad, in the scheme of things.
` Accidentally, Lucas got me up at 6:30 in the morning, two hours before we needed to leave instead of one, but at least I was be awake-enough to help him navigate to the giant filmmaker's mansion.

I remember when Lucas and I and those other talented freaks tried to get a filmmaker's mansion together, but the mansion and all the talented freaks fell through, and we wound up moving into Crazy Ghetto Queen's Condemned House of Certain Doom.
` Me-mories...

This mansion had this painting that I swear I've seen a picture of on the internet, it's Hugmore -- and he's been shot! They also have a popcorn machine....

In putting on his first costume, Lucas managed to split the gladiator pants, so they put a loincloth-thing on the back of them. It looks good, though!

In putting on my first costume, I needed a bit of help because they involve both a mask and clumsy gloves. That's me -- Dr. Orang U. Tan!

We started shooting downstairs, and the craft services chef was actually cooking in the kitchen scene, and I think he's in the final take, probably out back, grilling up some burgers.
` Amazingly, I found a veggie-burger and it was delicious!
` After lunch, I went upstairs and donned climbing gear, and joined in a game of Twister, but finally, they had me go outside onto the balcony and act like I had just climbed up!

So, you're probably wondering, how does the commercial go, exactly? Here's the storyline, accompanied by rehearsal photos:

Moses comes out of his bedroom to find clinking belly-dancers and guys wearing turbans in the hallway...

...comes through the door to find people juggling and tossing psychadelic beach balls, is blocked from going around the bar by the people playing Twister, so he climbs over it and the camera turns, we can see the band playing, the Voyeur Dead zombie chicks, a guy in a rabbit suit, a unicyclist, and Lucas in a gorilla suit doing his nunchuk thing.

Out the window, you can see me climbing over the balcony...

Then, Moses goes into a corner room, and in the next scene he goes down the spiral staircase into the foyer

...where there are several people dancing in synchrony, other people dressed as elves and presents, singing 'I want a hippopotamus for Christmas', one of the Team Awesome crew SCUBA diving in the enormous swimming pool-like fountain, which has a window in the side, with a toy double-rotor helicoptor flying around.

Then, he goes into the hallway where firefighters (one of them had brought the unicycle and the climbing gear) were chasing some smoke with a hose, then there was a room with a real DJ with a fake set-up -- or at least it wasn't plugged in -- and a six-inch mohawk, surrounded by a guy in a penguin suit, a girl wearing a Snuggie (the stupid blanket with sleeves) and a luchador mask dancing with an excited dog, me as Dr. Orang U. Tan, and a few others with crazy costumes.
` Somehow, I didn't get a picture of the scene I was in, but it was almost as scary as this other Hugmore painting:

Then Moses stops at the door to the kitchen, the camera cuts away, and then he puts in the earplugs.

We get a close-up on his face as he sighs with relief, then he continues while I come through the door, make like I haven't seen the banana playing the guitar in for ever, while space aliens and such dance outside the windows, then Lucas dressed as the ripped-pants gladiator fighting a be-furred guy with a battle-axe, some odd poker players (the teddy bear was winning!) and an S&M couple.

And, for what it's worth, Moses says the Hearos worked so well that he couldn't hear the director yell "Cut!"

It's all a brightly-colored blur now... anyway, it was a lot of hard work, somehow, and we wound up very tired. In any case, I am so jealous of the people who live at that mansion. Even their bathrooms are amazing. Here's the downstairs bathroom door:

This bathroom has a Hugmore:

ALL the bathrooms have a bidet!

It's almost like they don't even have to wipe their own asses! That would also explain the utter lack of toilet paper in the entire house... either that, or they had just hidden it from all the people so it didn't get used up... or else is all got used up by the people here already!
` So tired!


December 19, 2010:

I had been so tired from yesterday, but it was so cold in my bedroom that I couldn't fall asleep, and for some reason, Rusty wasn't trying to keep me warm. I had just seen the heater fan downstairs and knew it must be keeping the house warm. Except I was wrong about that.
` At 2 in the morning, Lucas got up to find the entire house very refrigerator-like. It was in the den, which was about 80 degrees. He turned on the light to find Anthony and his girlfriend sleeping in that room with a girl, with Rusty on his head!
` Apparently Joel had moved the heater into there and then didn't take it back out. I'm surprised at him because the heater fan was in the same place as the fireplace fan -- he should have known it was for keeping the house warm.
` And then, when I got up in the morning, Anthony teased me for having 'Gotten Up Late Hair' because I had been tossing and turning from the lack of the heat he had been enjoying.

Well, better luck tonight getting to sleep early.


December 20, 2010:

My grandma called, and she's depressed because most of the family has moved away, and she needs help taking care of Vic, who she has to feed through a tube. Sucks for both of them.
` I tried to cheer her up by telling her about the commercial shoot, but she said, "I don't care to hear about that cra -- uh, crazy stuff." So, I called my mom and told her and she was thrilled! At least someone wants to hear about it!


December 21, 2010:

The package my mom sent came, and with $100! I took some of the money and after Lucas' eye appointment, used some of it to buy a Christmas tree and put the presents under it!

In other news, Vada and Rusty seem to be friends, and I've trained Rusty to go up into the kitchen window (and not the counter!) to watch me wash dishes. I've been finishing unfinished tasks and keeping the house clean like a mofo!

Lucas has always impressed everyone at UPS, especially the way he gets down in shiko dachi to sort boxes and is very careful. But yesterday at work, he figured out that not only has his eye injury cost him $2,500 in income, which is a bit more than a month's rent here, but is going to cost him his job!
` So, today he proved himself to all the supervisors etc. by going around and revving out all the bins!

December 22, 2010:

Lucas went all around the warehouse today cleaning house, and the supervisors were so impressed that when his supervisor told him to come in at 3:30 tomorrow, another one said, "No, make it 1:30!"
` Yay! Two extra hours!

Also today, our neighbor Dean, who had come over to our house before, brought some wine, including wine by Francis Ford Coppola (the director of the Godfather movies, etc.).


December 23, 2010:

Today at UPS, Lucas loaded a truck all neat and orderly-like, which had had 27 misloads the day before, and the driver actually shook Lucas' hand and said "thanks, that's beautiful!"
` One of the safety ladies was passing out union schedulers and Lucas, a member of the union, asked for one and said, "Sorry, these are only for permanents." Lucas said, "I was hired as a permanent!"
` That was when he learned that the supervisors can't prevent him from getting laid off, so he found the biggest mucky-muk in the whole warehouse and told her he'd like to not get laid off, and that he'd been doing such a good job that the sups have been sending him all around to help everyone else, and that he could also offer body kinesiology and video services, such as instructional videos. She thanked him for working so hard so far.
` His sup, Derrick, was standing right there, and we can hope the exchanged words. Now, all the supervisors have to do is tell Karen they want Lucas to satay and she knows who he is.

Also, Sarah and Barb got us a Christmas Dinner!

Gossip:

We stopped at Nina's McDonald's and she says that her sister Sarah has had another baby a month ago, but won't tell who the father is. Lucas was astonished, and told her that exactly ten months ago, we'd heard Stinky Johnny behind closed doors with Sarah, which is his cousin by marriage....
` INCEST!!!! Kind of. That poor girl has no respect for herself!

Also, at the gym the other day, I ran into John 'Galoot', Charolotte's friend, who told me that Char and Brad were living at Char's mom's house and have a baby boy named Loden, and are much more calmed down than they used to be.
` I wonder how long that will last?


December 24, 2010:

Lucas greatly outperformed this reformed and crabby crack whore at work today by doing an excellent job of loading two trucks!
` Par-tay over here with Dan and Melissa, Dan of Doom and his girl, and, when I became too drunk, I went away to watch my Netflix DVD -- season 1 of Bullshit.


December 25, 2010:

Prezzents! Including re-gifts from Troy's mom! (Shhhh!) One of them was this Mickey Mouse Christmas ornament with Mickey and Goofy on a little train going around a Christmas tree, with Donald in pursuit, and it plays a little tune.
` Yeah.
` My mom got everyone some blueberry jam, Jeep hats and stockings and she got me a couple shirts. Lucas says, "How does it look?"

Tom, being a Burkhardt brewer, must have been behind this one:

She also got the dogs and cats toys... Rusty's already broken his:

He also is greatly thrilled with the wrapping paper, so I don't think he's disappointed! I also sent my gramma these postcards:

Lucas prepared the turkey teriyaki-style, which Rusty was enjoying -- wait, here comes Vada!

December 29, 2010:

Lucas still has his job, but since there's so little work, he's stuck at home. So, today, he made a bunch of snowmen! The ones with arms and legs are playing bocce, while the others are relegated to watching.

I couldn't join him because I was too sick to do anything, so I just lazed around and slept occasionally when I could get warm enough. I didn't even blog or anything because I was in so much pain and discomfort and exhaustion my brain couldn't work.
` Meanwhile, Troy played video games. I mean, like, all day. Like, eight hours! Then, while Lucas went out at night to add more to the snow scene, he was still playing video games! Yeah, he doesn't drink or do drugs, but I think this is just as bad!
` Lucas was so tired that he fell asleep on the couch and wouldn't even wake up when I had told him his beer had thawed!


December 30, 2010:

Lucas finally woke up at about four in the morning and found the house nice and toasty. Amazingly, Troy -- who was still downstairs playing video games -- had stoked the fire! Way to go, Troy!
` Unfortunately, he had wound up burning two whole bins of wood, so we were almost out again. So, today we went out and got more wood, and there was no new wood in the dumpster -- and then this guy came out with a forklift and used it to smash some wood racks or whatever they are, and Lucas broke those in half!

Then, another snowman pulled up a chair to watch the bocce, but was in danger of turning partly yellow!

Then, we went to the bank because now is the first time ever that we can qualify to refinance my car -- except then we found out that I can never qualify to refinance my car because it's seven years old!
` Apparently, there are no companies that will refinance cars older than five years, no matter if the car's in great condition with a new clutch and its resale value has bottomed out. My car may be ideal for refinancing, but rules are rules and no one can break them! WHY, GOD, WHYYYYY!?

Oh well, at least I got a pretty picture of the sunset through the neighbor's house:




December 31, 2010:

Got my Financial Aid check for winter quarter! Yayyyyyy! It was over $2,000! That's how much they like me!
` Also, since Christmas I'd been trying to get Lucas to watch the first couple episodes of Penn & Teller: Bullshit (the comedian-tricksters of Vegas expose scams and trick people with fake scams of their own) because I thought he'd really like it.
` Each day, he said he would watch it, so I didn't drop it in the mailbox so that we could get our next DVD. But he just didn't and wasted our literally valuable $$ DVD-time!
` Finally, this morning he just told me that he hated TV shows except for sports and that he didn't really want to watch it at all. Then why the hell did he keep saying he would? He could have already watched his next DVD and I could have had my second by now if he'd just been honest to begin with!

After that, we had some morning fiascos -- frozen coffee spilled on the carport wall, Joel and the dogs tearing up the flower garden and breaking a snowman, and the front door knob not working anymore -- and then went on our errands -- yay for the check!
` I would have liked to have been writing blog posts and such, but that was finally when Mike decided to get out of bed and take Lucas' truck to his shop.
` Since he had previously driven Lucas' truck 80mph on the highway (something Lucas has never done) Lucas insisted that Mike lead him in his truck and me in my car to his shop. Little had we suspected, this wound up being a two-hour trip!

So, all that took a huge chunk out of my day. Then, on the way back home, Lucas' co-worker at UPS/co-carpooler called, and we picked them up.
` We hung out with them for a bit, then had to do some stuff -- Lucas had to work on collecting some unemployment, and I needed to ride the exercise bike in my office because the gym was closed and my tummy hurted from sitting still all day. At about 7:30 they left, saying they would walk home. Whatever!
` Lucas and I should have gone to Troy's New Year's bash at AFK (Away From Keyboard), a new gaming bar a stone's throw away from the crackhouse Lucas and I used to go to, in the building that used to be Bogey's and then Cherry Blossom sushi.

Instead, we were losers, stayed at home, fell asleep, got up in time to pop the cork at midnight, and there were barely any fireworks! It was so disappointing!

Only Andrew was there for a few moments, and then he was bored with it. Have we forgotten how to have fun?


January 1, 2011:

At about 2:30 in the morning, there were children here, one of them was playing video games with Joel really loudly and I had to get up and ask him to turn it down. Turns out that Anthony crashed out here with his kids because he was too drunk to drive home last night.
` I woke up to the sound of Lucas and the kids strumming and drumming downstairs, although Rusty tried to keep me in bed as usual by using tongue-fu on my nose! He's like my personal Biore strip, that kitten!

I spent all morning playing and whiteboard drawing some, having some fun and whatnot. We even had cake! My favorite -- 2011-flavored!

The kids also tried to knock down Lucas' snowmen, but by now, Lucas had reinforced them so much that they were solid ice! The kids just bounced off!

Lucas is telling me to come check out the sunset -- I'll have that picture up here in my January 2011 Flickr album soon.
` Also, there are tons of good pictures I didn't have room for in this post, including ones that are of things I never mentioned -- you can see them here in my December 2010 album.

See you next time!