Saturday, August 21, 2010

Would-Be-Cat-Killer Roommate Gets Served!

Though he is #10 of the problem roommates, "Maggot Rick" is the first to try to poison my cats! They seem to be okay now, and luckily by the time we found this out, we had just gotten a restraining order on him.

Though he's long been a hilarious problem because he seems to think that he can get away with stuff as long as he lies about it, it's not funny anymore.
` Basically, if this is how much light I have shed upon him last post...

aug 043 Violet and Vada, and a crack of sunlight

This is how much light I will shed in this post!

aug 047 Will they be swallowed up?

So, we've served him the restraining order. However, since I've gotten complaints about talking about his insane antics too much on my last post, I decided to start this one off with some non-Rick business.

Thursday, August 4, 2010:

This morning I took the bus to school because neither of our vehicles work now! Upon following me down the trail to the bus stop, Violet was very upset when I passed the gate and kept going, and she begged me to come back!
` I took a picture of this -- it's on Flickr. There's a lot of pictures I can't show in one blog post that are on Flickr, which is why I always link to them at the end.

Luckily, I caught my bus, found that they'd raised fare, and had a seat. At the Everett Station, an ESL student from Punjab named Roman, who wants to be a doctor and also help homeless people, got on the bus and sat right across from me! Her English is really coming along!
` I showed up for class about half an hour early, so I listened to a science and critical thinking podcast for a while until I realized there was no class going on in the room. (I couldn't see inside, so it took a bit of critical thinking to figure out.) Apparently at this time, the room is a study hall of sorts.

I didn't get my test back yet, so darn! I also realized I didn't have enough change for the trip back, so I got a tasty treat at El Rey Authentic Mexican Food Stand before heading back to the EVCC bus station.
` I listened to my podcast for most of the time taking the buses back home -- which took about an hour and a half, as opposed to a 20-minute drive. I walked back up the trail, calling for the cats, but they were nowhere to be seen.
` After getting in the back door, Violet ran out making happy cat sounds to greet me, and Lucas said that she had been very traumatized by my having left her behind and not come back for hours!

Lucas also told me about the Rick situation. As you may recall, this man, who we're pretty sure is 52, has been really belligerent about insisting on using the dishwasher instead of the sink to wash dishes, which doesn't usually work out well and Lucas winds up washing the dishes anyway.
` As you may recall from near the end of my last post, after Lucas had washed his own dishes and cleared out the sink, and left far more than enough dish soap for Rick to wash his own plastic containers, the dish soap disappeared right as Lucas turned his back to Rick.
` In other words, Rick poured the dish soap out. After that, he clogged the drain with spaghetti so none of us could use the sink.
` Today, Lucas confronted him about this and told him to clear out the drain. Reluctantly, Rick pulled a few strands of spaghetti out of the drain, and then left Lucas to clean up the rest -- an entire bowl's worth of them!
` Then, Lucas went downstairs and chewed Rick out about this, in front of Troy and next to Andrew's bedroom door. He said that if Rick doesn't want to behave appropriately, etc. he can find somewhere else to live!
` Predictably, Rick started making baseless accusations, but all in all, I think he was taken aback.

As I've been writing, Rick has been exceptionally and hilariously dramatic over the past month, and it's only getting more amusing -- and annoying.
` Why doesn't Lucas kick him out? Because, Roommate Rick is -- amazingly -- friends with Rick Alden of Skullcandy, whom Lucas is trying to make a business deal with, and he's not about to jeopordize that.
` In any case, Lucas is raising Rick's rent because he wastes so much electricity it isn't funny -- the electricity bill has increased $150 more since he moved in!
` We can attribute this to his leaving the lights on all night, leaving the sliding door open all night, doing loads of laundry consisting of one item, falling asleep with the TV on, using the 1960's dishwasher that really doesn't work well, etc.

Anyway, Lucas is off getting his truck fixed -- the slave cylinder and the brakes need replacing -- and if all goes well, I'll be able to drive it myself!


A canvasser from the same window company Lucas and I had once worked for knocked on our door. I told her, as I usually said, we're renters, and she asked me how well I knew my neighbors. Huh? She said that a worker at the house was talking about something my neighbors had, and the other one said, "I already have some of those."
` She showed me the house and it was our landlords' place! I thanked her and told landlord Steve's nephew, and later on I called Lucas and told him, too, and he called Steve and told him, and... it turns out, it was just his son and his son's buddy sanding the deck, not to worry.

Neighbors don't let neighbors get jacked... even when they're just sharing!

aug 034 Creepy red sun!

Friday, August 06, 2010:

Lucas called Rick's former landlord, Raul, who asked, "Is he misbehaving?" Oh, yes.
` Raul told Lucas that Rick has done exactly the same stupid stuff he is now, and that he had also been fighting with the roommates and had to be kicked out.
` "We got along pretty well and I really hated to kick the guy out," Raul said, "but his behavior was unacceptable."
` Lucas told Rick this, and Rick was like, "Well, one of the roommates was racist!"
` And Lucas was like, "Raul said the problem was you!"
` And Rick was like, "This is because you hate my bill!"
` You'll recall that Rick's hypocritical bill says that people who have had DUIs -- like Rick -- won't be allowed to have alcohol -- like Rick does, though he claims he goes to the bar for socializing purposes only. Does he even have friends?
` Rick just kept blaming other things for Lucas getting angry, so afterward, Lucas could hear him in his room; "Hello, Raul?" and then he left, presumably to talk to Raul.

So, Rick was gone, and Troy and Andrew weren't here either. Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

When Rick got back, however... he came upstairs, and without saying a word, washed a dish!!!

Is there hope for Rick?

Saturday, August 07, 2010:

The fluorescent light bulbs in the main bathroom had been working just fine, according to Lucas, until Rick got up this morning. Then, I saw with my own eyes, that both light bulbs were burnt out, at the same time!
` I guarantee that isn't a coincidence.

Later on, Lucas was watering the lawn when it started raining! He finished up, in case the rain didn't continue, but it did, all day!
` Then, I called Ananda later on to invite her to the Red Cup for open mike night on Wednesday, and she was like, "Are you coming to the party?" Nooo! I missed the party at the beach house! Arrrrgh! Not much fun in the rain, but still, all my friends I've been neglecting are there and I forgot about it!

Sunday, August 08, 2010:

Andrew's hooking his computer up to the internet right now. Speaking of the internet, I haven't been online much lately because of the construction going on in my office. It's kinda disruptive.

Lucas allowed Rick to redeem himself by helping Andrew with his internet access, but Rick wouldn't listen to the Comcast tech support person and he even snatched the paper Lucas was using out of Lucas' hands!
` Rick managed to drag the frustration out for two hours -- however, as soon as Lucas made him wait for the directions, they were done in 15 minutes.

Later on, Rick dropped the loose sliding glass door on Troy's head. Passive-agressive?

Monday, August 09, 201o:

Getting back to working on the Corrigendopedia more. I'm starting to use my new-used desk like a person who has a normal office. No sooner did I get a desk however, that we started using a fan for ventilation, in my office, although it doesn't bother me as much as I thought it would.

Michael Tuckman, by the way, plans to pick up Hump City (starring Lucas) and The Boob (in which case it will be starring Lucas), so it seems we'll be able to get along without the help of 'Skullcandy' Rick Alden. Michael has assured Lucas that Lucas is THE MAN.
` While Lucas' mom was tutoring me in math via phone, Michael Tuckman called Lucas, thinking that Lucas had emailed someone something he shouldn't have.
` Lucas assured him that it wasn't who Tuckman thought it was, and in the end, Tuckman was even happier with Lucas and even added Lucas onto his team. Or something. I don't quite remember, since I was on the phone with Lucas' mom, who was also listening. It was quite a blur, as it was an emotional rollercoaster for Lucas.

As for Soon-To-Be-Former Roommate Rick, he was talking on his cell to one of his friends and was saying that Lucas is a racist. Of course, he isn't, but now I understand why Rick was calling one of his former roommates racist -- he considers himself a minority! I would have never guessed!
` Lucas has also talked to Rick's former landlord, Raul, once more, and he's agreed to meet Lucas tomorrow and give him Rick's official kick-out letter and whatnot, so that Lucas will be armed to the teeth when he kicks Rick out.

Armed and full of garden greens!

aug 032 Our garden vegetables!

Hooray for giant colanders!

Tuesday, August 10, 2010:

Today after school, Lucas and I went to the police station and got some consulting on why or when to call them in the process of kicking out Rick. Then, back at home, Lucas finally decided to tell Rick to get out because of Rick's behavior, and I watched.
` Lucas explained that as long as Rick decided to get out in a few days, he'd refund him his deposit and help him move out. If Rick didn't, Lucas would put a 20-day notice on his door.
` Rick seemed to think this was a joke, and said that Lucas held a lot of resentment towards him and was kicking him out because of the thing over the computer.

Something tells me that Rick has a lot of resentment towards Lucas.

He was also laughing in a self-assured way and told Lucas that he would sue for defamation of character.
` Me, I was catching Rick's eye and laughing every time Rick laughed after saying something retarded. Since he still seems to be apologetic towards me (as with most problem roommates we've had), he might have interpreted this as me laughing along with him.

Lucas is meeting with Raul at two o'clock.

Can't wait 'til this is over!

aug 064 Funny, I never see anyone sitting there

We're closer than ever to a Rickless Paradise!

aug 065 I walked down the driveway and saw this


Lucas got Rick's kick-out letter from Raul. Apparently Rick has been a control freak, becoming more and more overtly threatening, doing weird things to be intimidating like walking around in a suit, etc, so that's kinda scary.
` Also, when we got into Lucas' truck to go to the gym, smoke came out of the engine! Also, the truck was dieseling when he parked at the gym. We suspect Rick did something to his engine, and left oily disturbances which would cause it to smoke. Hmmm....

August 11, 2010:

Rick has not agreed to get out, so Lucas said he's going to file a restraining order on Rick. Well, Rick laughed and said Lucas was acting like a "13-year old girl" and that he's going to get laughed out of court.
` He also yelled loud and clear, "Don't go there. I've hurt people before and I can hurt you, I can hurt your house, I can hurt your finances, and I can hurt your emotions."
` Lucas asked him, "Have you ever been kicked out of a house before?"
` Rick said, "No."
` So, Lucas showed him Raul's rejection letter, and Rick said, "That's a fine forgery."
` Then, Lucas went to call the cops and Rick was like, "For what?"
` Lucas said, "For threatening me."
` Rick said, "I didn't threaten you."
` Lucas reminded him of how Rick said he could hurt Lucas and then Rick said, "I didn't threaten you, I said, I could hurt you, but that I don't want to go there."
` Whatever! Same thing!
` So, now the cops are over....

And now, the cops are gone. Since Rick didn't actually do anything to Lucas, they can't arrest him. Darn. And I thought we were so close! Gee, how many cop visits has this been at our house?

Lucas is also gone, as Steve the landlord came while the cops were here, and then they left to go play golf and get wasted. And Rick thought he was friends with Steve!

August 12, 2010:

I think I did well on my fifth exam! That'll be all for this quarter, maybe now I can focus on something other than math... and Rick!

Speaking of which, he's been walking around in a suit all day, just as Raul said he did! He's been talking loudly on the phone, but then he got one phone call that made him go all quiet.
` Apparently, it was Rick Alden, telling him to just move out of the house and stop being an ass, since Lucas has been reporting his behavior to Alden. Why? Lucas agreed to trade his business deal with helping us get Rick out of the house.

Later on, Rick said something that he said to me yesterday when I went and got the mail for him, and that was, "Don't you think it's interesting I haven't gotten my mail?" because he was waiting for some parts for his TV that he said he hadn't gotten.
` I told him that I'd once not gotten a package at the post office, and that the post office doesn't deliver mail every day to everyone. I suggested that "Tomorrow, maybe everyone will get a lot of mail!"
` Later that night, while I was cataloging notes at my chair-desk he said to me, "Before, you said something about roommates not getting their mail?" No...
` I explained what had happened -- years ago (back when we lived in the crazy landlady's condemned house), my mom sent us a package full of Christmas presents that never made it to our door.
` I had gone to the post office and they said they hadn't received it, even though my mom's post office said they had, weeks ago! It turned out that it was sitting in the back room and hadn't been scanned.
` He grinned and said something about we're only humans, everyone makes mistakes sometimes. Whatever.
` I asked him about the two pink notices from the post office about failure to deliver a package, and he said, "Oh, that was something totally unrelated."

Then, he started talking all about Obama ruining the economy, and I bit my tongue and pretended I agreed with what he was saying as best I could. Then he asked me what my major was, and I told him it was science writing, and soon he began bragging about a children's book he said he wrote called 'First Wings', about how to deal with a death in the family.
` I suggested he could make more money about that and he said something about getting it re-published. I wonder if that book even exists? Can't seem to find it on the internet, anyway.

August 13, 2010:

Today, Rick was strutting around in a suit, but 15 minutes after Lucas emailed Rick Alden, Roommate Rick got a call and became very subdued. He then changed into sloppy-looking clothes and left.
` When he came back, he said something over his phone, "I'm at the house now" and then apparently was listening to instructions and nodding, saying, "Uh-huh".

After this mechanic guy came to look at my car, then left for a doctor's appointment (doctor's appointment scheduling problems are why he couldn't fix my car yesterday), this Norwegian couple came up to our house, looking for for a couple named Ray and Diana Sundal, who they said were probably relatives of theirs, if they were from the same village.
` We suggested that our neighbor Tom might know something about it, but he was apparently gone for the weekend. They didn't want to leave information with us, though, and they said they had to leave tonight.
` Later, when the mechanic, Mike and his friend, Joel and two collies came over to fix the car (okay, I guess the dogs don't really participate in that part), one of the dogs, Max, escaped and ran off.

aug 073 Do you know how to drive this thing?

This one lady down the street said he had just been freaking out in her yard -- while we were on the other side of the block, of course -- and then Max shot out of someone else's yard and back down to our house.
` Then, there was this old guy watering his lawn we always wave at, and almost met at a party at our next-door neighbor's house, and Lucas and I introduced ourselves. He said, "I'm Ray Sundal." and Lucas and I were like, "Ohhhh! We finally met you just a few hours late!" He looked a lot like the Norwegian couple!
` We had a good conversation. He was indeed Norwegian and said he had been hanging out with Norwegian sea captains all day -- and indeed he knew a lot of Sundals back in Norway, though he didn't know how he could get in contact with the couple who was looking for him. Darn!

Later on, I got to show off my knowledge in things mystery-mongering. I had this to write about it in an email thread on the strangeness of people's ways of thinking (slight edits for clarity):

"...there were these guys over fixing my car for cheap and they are real awesome, and seemed impressed with my being able to respond so knowledgeably about woo-ey topics they were curious about.
` Like, the remote camera picture of the 'black blob' bigfoot in dude's garden, I was like, 'it's a crow flying' and the mechanic was like, 'but what does a bird have to do with someone's garden being raided?' and my fiance Lucas was all, 'correlation isn't necessarily causation -- the bird has nothing to do with the garden being raided, it was just flying by.'
` I never would have guessed someone would think the bird flying by would have to have something to do with someone's garden getting raided!

Over dinner, he was talking about the 'water powered' car, which he's seen people make, and the government was covering it up, and I was like, 'what about the rest of the world?' and he said Japan already had them, they're called hydrogen fuel cells.
` I had to explain to him that they're two entirely different concepts, but that in either case, it takes more energy to get the hydrogen from the water than the energy you get out of it, so therefore the water isn't the fuel, the electricity you put into it is.
` The only way you could use the hydrogen as fuel is if you put it in your car already in hydrogen form -- but since that takes more energy than it's worth to make, it's more efficient just to use batteries. I don't think he quite understood, but he did seem impressed with my knowledge. (That doesn't happen every day! Pat on the back!)
` I thought it was most interesting when I was like, 'the thing over Stanley Meyer's trial was that he claimed to break the first and second laws of thermodynamics, and he couldn't demonstrate that his water engine actually did that, and he was sued for fraud.'
` He was like, 'Well, maybe you can.' and I said, 'Break the first and second laws of thermodynamics? I don't think so.' He didn't say more about that. I don't know what he thought."

A little later, after the guys had continued work on my car, Rick was all hanging around the mechanic's car, taking his license plate number, apparently, around which time his car door lock mysteriously broke.
` In fact, I got a picture of that... there's Rick with his back to us. I guess the computer I edited this on has a screen that's way darker, because I couldn't originally see all the purple and green distortion.

aug 075 Problem Roomate #10, Rick, going to scope out the mechanic's car

It's the first picture I have of Rick, but it may not be the last since that one sucks.

August 14, 2010:

OMG, I woke up at 8:30 this morning and Lucas told me that he had to stay up almost all night because of Rick and his police-calling shenanigans!
` The mechanics had to stop work last night/this morning around 1:30 because they didn't have a wrench bit, so they drove off to get some Jack-In-The-Box and some beer.
` They were coming back to sleep in the house, so Lucas was making up the futon near Rick's door, and he heard Rick call the cops to report a DUI, saying these mechanics had been drunk and obnoxious and were now driving home -- though he hadn't even seen them in hours!
` In response, Lucas called the cops himself, explaining that it was just Rick being a jerk once more -- and he emailed this incident to Rick Alden.
` Later on, at about three in the morning, Rick was in the tool shed, bending over his box of tools, which he had earlier offered to the mechanics as I recall. (Lucas told them, 'no! Don't trust him!) Now, Lucas heard him muttering, "I know, I'll tell them they stole my tools, that's what I'll do."
` Seriously!
` Lucas watched this apparently apnea-induced sleep deprivation, stupor-like state Rick was in for a couple of minutes, then said, "Hi, Rick," and Rick stood straight up, wide-eyed like he'd been caught doing something wrong.

In morning news, after Lucas fixed them a wonderful breakfast and I'd made a smoothie, Mike fixed the garbage disposal, and now it seems clear that Rick had broken it, because he found... a piece of gravel!
` As I've written before, Rick had been happy about its having stopped working at first, and insisted that, although we had gotten it working again before, that we could not this time.
` How can a piece of gravel get in the garbage disposal? I think Rick must have done it, and he knew the disposal wouldn't work anymore!

Later on, Troy drove me to Office Depot and I got some more miniature paper and a couple more mini-binders in which to catalogue my notes. Almost done!
` Meanwhile, it's been ideal car-fixin' back at the house....

aug 083 The dogs are saying, 'Can we go play?'

Giant Bucket o' Coronitas n' Limes! Also, Bocce ball!

aug 084 Lucas and Joel playing Bocci

This afternoon, Rebecca and Nate came by, with their 2 year-old (and 2 months!), Charlie! He is so tall, and he's talking now, which is a relief because Rebecca had been paying for speech therapy because she was afraid there was something wrong with him!
` Whoa.
` Indeed, he seems older than he is, and he was kicking at the Bocce balls saying, "kick! Kick!" Then we did a little bowling, and I even held Violet still enough to be kissed and petted, and then put her in a safer spot. Charlie was so cute, Nate was so laid-back and Rebecca was so dotey, and said some things I rolled my eyes at and won't repeat here.

Idnee cute?

aug 088 He's only a little over two years old

Though Charlie was all peeing on trees like a pro (he's too short to reach the toilet), he sat down on our front stoop and really looked like he had to go #2, so Rebecca brought him into the upstairs bathroom. I heard Rebecca say, "It won't touch you", apparently referring to the stain in the toilet.
` He didn't like the bathroom, evidently, and I take that as a sign that someone should clean it. Troy's the only one who ever has so far, and I never have barely ever used it.
` Luckily, there's one reliable way to get it out of him, and that's hiking! And whaddaya know, Lucas took them on a walk down the trail, and Charlie got to splash in the ravine... and then... yes... it worked!

I actually spent much of this time indoors, finishing up my note-cataloging, although I did get up to get Rebecca the rest of my smoothie and come hang out some more.
` After they left, I actually managed to finish my Corrigendopedia notes! I have never done this before! Amazing! I'm up to date for the first time in... ever since I started last year!

Though it was mechanic paradise at our house, with a tub full of Coronitas on ice with lime wedges, the boys couldn't install the clutch because it was the wrong size! That's right, the clutch that the parts store employees probably told everyone was for a Jetta actually doesn't fit, and no other stores had the right clutch, so we had to get it from Pignataro VW, which was $250 more than the one we had just bought.
` Of course, the office closes early on Saturday, so we have to wait until Monday to order one, and it takes four days for it to arrive.

After the ice had melted in the Coronitas tub, I figured that dipping Violet's feet in the tub would cool her off, but no soon did I manage that than Rick had come home and she ran up to him and greeted him.
` He petted her and was all, "Oh, isn't she so cute? She does that every day when I come home!" and then gave a huge belly laugh, which scared the bejeezus out of me!
` The only thing I could think was 'what are you going to do to my cats, asshole?'

After they had gone home, the neighbors had a wedding, with a loudspeaker and everything!

Yet later, Lucas videotaped me getting the mail today -- and my taken-apart car, in case Rick tried to accuse Lucas of stealing his mail, or taking parts of the Jetta, whichever.

Troy got more pie! Strawberry-rhubarb and cherry! And vanilla ice cream, too! Whoo hoo!

August 15, 2010:

On the couch where Vada naps, I found a pile of cat vomit that hadn't even been digested. Now, the cats' dishes and food bag, which Lucas keeps open all the time, is directly below Rick's cupboard.
` I looked through it for foreign substances but couldn't find anything but cat food, though it had white speckles on it. I broke open a piece of the food to find the same white speckles on the inside.
` Then, I went outside and called for my cats, but only Violet came. I started to suspect that Rick had done something to Vada when she appeared in the downstairs room.
` Maybe he hasn't done anything yet, but I'm keeping an eye out.

Thankfully, Rick seems to be more subdued. Probably another call from Rick Alden. I mainly ate pie and ice cream and lazed around, because it's so hot, and because I just need a rest day, although I did get through all my emails.
` Rick did say he got a job, after praying with his pastor in church, and said he came back and cried with his pastor because after working his ass off he finally got a job and blah blah. Whatever! He also said he found some places to live nearby.
` Even so, if he's going to be living nearby, we're going ahead with the restraining order, which I've spent all day preparing for by compiling my 'RickFiles' for use in court.

August 16, 2010:

Lucas can't file the restraining order today because he can't drive his truck, or much else, because he's having another excruciating muscle episode, which he's heavily medicated for.
` Michael and his sister Sharon came over for a bit, and Michael offered to drive Lucas to the court house, but Lucas said, "Nah, I might as well wait for the police report to come out before I go to court anyway. I need as much ammunition as I can."
` Good strategy! And to think I was up until 2 in the morning making sure it was all in line, and then not waking up this morning until 11:45! I must have been tired! Lucas has been too, because his muscles kept him up all night.
` Rick, on the other hand, has presumably been at work, although we don't know where. We had planned to serve him the restraining order at work, but now there's no huge hurry.
` Besides, he'll probably do something stupid that we can use as fuel.

Lucas and I walked down to the liquor store, got this cream vodka -- it is amazing! Then we got our swamp cooler action -- spraying water into the air in front of the fan, pulling all the shades down, putting Vada's quilt in front of the window that doesn't have a shade.
` Rick got home, I asked him where he worked, he said Anacortes. What? Yet he said he was going to move up the street from us by the end of the month, which is creepy! Why would he want to live near us if he works at least an hour's drive away?

What a tangled web of lies he weaves!

aug 096 Closer look at the spider

August 17, 2010:

Our lives are somewhat centered around getting rid of Rick -- can you tell?
` Also, I'm starting to suspect that Rick doesn't really have a job -- yesterday he left at 7:30, today he left at 9:00.

Anyway, though he says he will move out, we need him out of here in short order before he pulls anything else.
` We should have taken Michael up on that ride to the courthouse on Monday because we don't really need the police report.
` Unfortunately, we got there too late to file for a Restraining order, firstly because we went to the gas station and then Lucas realized he didn't have the wrong clutch he was taking back to the parts store, nor something that he needed to take to the courthouse, so we had to turn around and get them, which took ten or so minutes.
` Then, while we were taking the wrong clutch back to the parts store, we had to wait for half an hour for our cash. Finally, when we got there it was just past three in the afternoon, which was the deadline!
` Arrrgh!
` Next time, Rick, next time!

Later on, when we finally got home later on, it was dark and I shoved a pizza in the oven. While waiting for it to cook, I went outside and played with my cats using a holly branch that Lucas must have pruned off recently. I was so proud of them both for attacking it so fiercely -- usually, only one of them attacks the branch and the other is very half-hearted about it.
` Then, Rick came outside and told me the mechanics didn't know what they were doing and bla bla, and I sure hope he hasn't tried to screw up my car, which has been sitting half-taken apart since the fourteenth.
` We should have the new part in by tomorrow!

I was going to email someone, which I've been trying to make room for since the beginning of break, but I was so tired. So, I decided to do something I've never done before -- start writing my screenplay! This requires categorizing my screenplay notes, as well as a lot of creativity.
` I was so stoked, so I had Lucas get rid of the noise that drives me crazy all day, and I got all settled down and started work, when Lucas got all upset at the fact that one of the locks from our office doors had gone missing, locks that we need to keep Rick out of our stuff. It took forever to find the lock, and by that time I was really upset and couldn't think straight, so I figured I'd just put it off until tomorrow, along with the email.
` And one wonders how I keep putting things off? Before, I was upset all the time and constantly being interrupted, but now, it seems that this type of thing only happens when I get around to doing something actually important!

August 18, 2010:

Okay, so today, Rick left for work at 8:15. Come on! Does that make any sense?

We set off for the courthouse just after I had woken up today, and... got there right at the beginning of their break! So, we had to wait around for an hour and I got a smoothie from Zippy's.
` I didn't tell Lucas this, but it was four dollars, as usual, but only half the size as it used to be! I was outraged, but as I'd been waiting for fifteen minutes after paying for it and it was time to line up at the office door, I didn't have time to complain.
` With my smoothie o' pineapple-y goodness, I returned, offered Lucas some, and we went up to find that no one was even forming a line, really. After waiting by the door ten minutes, we got in, and they enlarged the statement Troy had written of Rick threatening Lucas, and apparently Lucas had filled out the restraining order form upside-down so he had to fill out another one.
` During this time, two charming blokes from North London, who were in America to coach soccer and "to get speeding tickets", were in the next window, so of course I flirted with them. One of them had a bracelet that said I *heart* Boobies. I said, "I have boobies! Laser boobies, pew pew!" They thought that was funny.

That whole episode took up about four hours of my time, which I would have spent at home doing what I put off last night if I had known I didn't need to be there.
` Anyway, I was so exhausted and relieved by all this that I took a nap, and woke up at three o' clock when Mukilteo Farmer's market was starting, and we walked down to check that out, had some good food, bought some really great blueberry peach jam, some olive oil from New Zealand and some fruits and vegetables -- but not Ed Boring's vote!

aug 104 Lucas and Ed Borey

When I got back from the farmer's market, there was this loud generator going and it was so distracting that my brain shut down and I took another nap until after 8:00 at night!

Now we know Rick is lying about working in Anacortes -- when he came home, he said he was hopefully going to get a house up there, overlooking the Deception Pass bridge -- except are no houses there, just state parkland!
` Lucas overheard this and asked Rick whereabouts in Anacortes he worked, as Lucas had worked there once, and Rick suddenly had to go, inexplicably.
` Then, Lucas videotaped me getting the mail again.

I just heard Rick call someone on his phone and say, "I can't get a job, so I'm working in Anacortes, okay?" Huh? He can't get a job, so... he has a job? Except he doesn't anyway.

Anyway, before I go to bed, I'd better work out on the exercise bike or something because I didn't even go to the gym today, I've been so tired from stress or something.

It's after my workout now, about midnight, and for the past half hour I've been hearing Rick badmouthing Lucas to a woman I thought was the neighbor, and at first I shrugged it off because this neighbor knows he's an asshole. However, I can't hear it outside... I can, however, hear it outside of Rick's room.
` I heard him say, "I lost my girlfriend, I lost my job..." I know he didn't have a job, and I kinda doubt he had a real girlfriend back in Colorado!
` It isn't even a woman in his room, it's his speakerphone, and he's trying to provoke Lucas -- Lucas, however, did not take the bait.

August 19, 2010:

Rick left at 7:00 today to go to 'work', whatever he's doing. Lucas and I left at 8:30 to go to court and get a restraining order. Get it we did, after a bunch of people changed their last names, including a seven-year-old boy who the judge addressed as "Mr." and whatever his name was.
` Interestingly, I didn't even need to testify, all the judge needed to hear was what Lucas had to say, and read the testimony of Troy, about when Rick was threatening Lucas outside his bedroom door. She didn't even question Lucas about whether he thought it was appropriate to get this guy out of our house -- I think his body language was enough.
` Best of all, the lady in the office where we were getting our copies of the restraining order said that we could serve him on the premises.
` What a relief! We were celebrating all the way home, and when we got home, we kept falling asleep! At one point, Lucas woke me up to tell me that he can call the police to serve the restraining order in our own house and it doesn't cost a dime!
` Then I went back to sleep and must have slept until noon.

Even so, Rick Has Struck Again! I washed the canned food residue out of Violet's bowl, and poured some dry food in, and there was a maggot in it!
` I picked the maggot out, which was so quick that Violet failed to catch it. That seemed to be the only one in the bag, so I figured now was the time to get another bag. Even so, I dumped the bowl out and poured some more cat food in it, but Violet recoiled from it and walked away, snorting.
` Then, she meowed at me and Lucas, and Lucas went over to her food bag and inhaled deeply. It smelled really nasty, and the kibbles were lighter in color and larger than they should be, as if they'd gotten wet and expanded, and then dried.
` I am not making this up!
` Then, Lucas found an opaque plastic milk jug sitting by the recycling bin-- different from the translucent ones we normally have in the fridge -- so he took the cap off, crushed it, and a horrific stench came out! Then, he put two and two together:

Rick poured rancid milk in our cats' food!

aug 108 The rancid milk bottle and the food bag it was emptied into

That explains why the cats have been so wild and playful, and why they haven't come inside at night, and have been killing all those small animals, and why Vada is so skinny! They're hungry!

My poor predators -- and their victims!

aug 053 Good morning, Mommy! We brought you breakfast!

And as for where the maggot came from, I'm not sure, but Lucas and I both remember Troy saying that he's been finding maggots on the bathroom floor every couple of days, and he couldn't figure out how that was possible since there's nothing for flies to lay eggs in!

Also, we found a piece of metal that comes from one of Rick's cigarette lighters in the sink. Apparently, he discovered that the garbage disposal works again and was trying to break it once more. Psycho!

Anyway, it's about four now, and I'm to wake up Lucas, and we'll drive to the pet store and get more cat food and then go to Pignitaro VW for the new clutch.

It's nearly seven in the evening and the mechanic has been putting the clutch back in. We're waiting for Rick to get home so we can call the cops and serve him his restraining order.
` Also, the cats were happy to get their food -- look how skinny Vada is, and how happy she is to have food!

aug 106 Post-poisoned Vada happy to eat again

Interestingly, after that, both cats were suspicious of the food dish and looked at us until we encouraged them to eat.

So, at ten thirty tonight, the cops came and went, without incident other than Rick being his damn pathetic self, saying, "I lost my job today!"
` I thought he lost his job yesterday! But it doesn't matter, because he hasn't had a job, he's just been staying away from the house all day, probably sleeping, so he can come home late and do things while we're supposed to be asleep -- except Lucas has been up late.
` At eleven o'clock when the mechanic finished with my car, they found something Rick did! He busted my starter!

August 20, 2010:

At six this morning, Lucas had me videotape him unplugging Rick's damn alarm clock. I won't miss that sound.

As for my starter, the mechanic said it was probably himself just not connecting the ground wire. Okay, so it looks like Rick didn't get my car! In further car news, my car is fixed, Lucas drove us in it today. This was after we went to the cop shop, with the cat food bag and my underwear, filed a report, then went to my doctor's appointment.
` Why underwear?
` The doctor says that rotten milk could have caused inflammation -- which started eight days ago -- that could have led to an imbalance in bacteria and... a yeast infection. Our last couple of loads of laundry have sat in the dryer overnight, accessible to Rick.
` Know what I'm saying?
` Luckily, I've just swallowed the magic pill that will fix that, which finally got to my pharmacy after our trip to the gym -- in my car! -- and I luckily got the message just in time before the pharmacy closed!

Can you believe people used to die horribly of yeast infections? And now all's we have is to take a pill that cures them! From that alone I'd be dead three times over!

August 21, 2010:

I think that today's a good day as any to try to find a 'normal' pattern with me, now that I am assured of having no more crazy people in the house. Is it safe for me to finally do as I please? This is a goal I've been seeking since 2006. Have I survived to see myself fulfill it?

I have my own desk and quiet room and everything!

aug 117 Back to my new desk...

Of course, Rick's stuff is still here, and we suspect that he has a maggot farm, which we want the police to take care of ASAP. Maybe that's where the RickFlies come from, rather than from him leaving the doors open?
` In any case, the clouds of flies that have been zig-zagging all over the house are gone. Also, the little brown beetles that die in the same spot on our counter, and which appeared two days after Rick moved in, and which Rick pointed out to me, also seem to be disappearing.
` Hmmm... I had thought, about the beetles, 'I hope he doesn't think we've always had insect problems because this is the first time I've seen those!' For the longest time they were in the butter dish and on the toaster oven, or in boxes of crackers that had been opened the day before, and now I don't see any!
` Was this guy breeding insects and putting them around the house? Seriously! That's weird!

Rick of the Flies!

Anyway, I must run to the gym. There are plenty more pictures here, from hummingbirds to peas and a few funny things -- they're on Flickr so as not to overload my blog and crash your browser!


Daisy said...

Hi! My word, your blog posts are like little books, they're so long! HA HA! :D I hope you will finally be able to get Rick out of your hair for good. Sounds like he has been a real menace to you guys. Your desk looks nice. I hope things will settle down now so you can do the things you want to do there. I'm glad your cats are OK. Give them a pet for me, would you? Geez, you never know what that guy is going to do next!
I looked at your Flickr pictures too. Cool!

S E E Quine said...

Not to fear, Daisy! According to Rick Alden, Rick Real is taking his advice to stay away because he's scared of being arrested.
` Or something. He apparently doesn't seem to think he's done anything wrong, either. Why is he like this?
` Probably because he hasn't had any successes in life, whereas Rick Alden is the founder of Skullcandy.

And my cats are thoroughly petted now, as if they weren't already!
` Thanks for looking at my pictures! I am finally moving forward in my life! Woot!

Monado said...

Wow, what a maniac! Bugs in the butter. Trying to make the cats sick.

Your kitties might appreciate a different bowl for a while to signal that the food is *new* and *improved*. Just not plastic: apparently even hard plastic can give cats acne -- black pimples on the chin. My vet told me that and, sure enough, replacing the plastic water dish got rid of the cat's acne.

But I digress. NEXT time, ask potential roommates why they left the last place and follow up with their former roommates. Sheesh! You need some peace in your life.

S E E Quine said...

Don't worry, the cats are eating just fine, and they have a ceramic bowl. I had no idea plastic bowls could cause cat acne, but apparently it's true, perhaps because the texture traps microbes or something.

Luckily, we won't be the rent of a third roommate in the foreseeable future, so we just won't get another roommate. The two we have are great, why spoil it?
` Indeed, Lucas did call Rick's former landlord, Raul, who said, "He'll try to be your friend." He didn't tell Lucas about Rick's threatening behavior because he was trying to help Rick find a new place to live -- and get him out of his own house!
` Raul felt really sorry for Rick, and apparently so did Skullcandy Rick Alden... he actually flew in from Utah just to clean up all traces of Rick from the house and help Rick out. Why? Because they've known each other since the sixties.
` Rick Alden became the founder and CEO of Skullcandy, while Rick of the Flies became... Rick of the Flies. Both of them are about 52, and I was amazed at how young Rick Alden looks -- like he's under 40 -- compared to Roommate Rick, who looks like he's at least sixty!