Boo-yah! Lucas' commercial was a finalist in the Microsoft Office commercial contest -- he plays Robert the Janitor! He is so good with that mop... isn't he fantastic? Not only does he mop the carpets, but he does all the other work at ThinkSpace!
And that beard of his, of course, is for that show, 'Hump City' -- or whatever else it might be called -- so that he can look as slovenly as possible. Here's the Official Trailer for that:
Well, after several hours of typing and editing photos and whatnot, here it is!
April 1, 2010:
Instead of a stupid prank, Troy got us all a box of chocolate frosted donuts!
At the store today, Lucas ran into this guy from William Scotsman, the construction company he worked with two years ago. He said that there had only been three small jobs since Lucas had been laid off, so this is why they hadn't called him back.
` In the next aisle, Lucas found this guy from his karate days, so they're going to go to this karate event together!
While dialing my number at the gas station a little while later, Lucas was sitting in his truck with a view of a guy's butt, of which whose pants were around the bottom of, revealing boxer-briefs! So Lucas started singing,
underwear in my face, underwear in my face..."
The guy turned around, saw Lucas' massive hulk, and turned back around. That's when I picked up the phone and Lucas said, "Hi sweetie!" like nothing had happened!
Another sad-but-funny story: Troy's boss got fired because he sold beer to a minor, after looking at said minor's ID, in front of everyone who was there for the company meeting!
In other news, Troy is getting his costume together for SakuraCon tomorrow!
April 2, 2010:
He also showed Lucas and I an episode of this anime where setting a field of marijuana on fire saves the day!
` To Troy's surprise, it was not accurate in terms of portraying being high, probably because Japanese people would not be expected to know better, although did look cool nonetheless.
Ananda called -- apparently, Jake's broken his back. He didn't mean to, of course, and now he's on drugs for the pain. We're hoping to see him tomorrow.
Also, Rick has moved in. He's the friend of the founder of SkullCandy, Rick Alden (who talks about how he founded the company in this video), and this may be of benefit to Lucas' acting/music career!
You know what's funny? I overheard Andrew asking Lucas how old I was -- 28 -- after apparently not really believing me because I look older to him.
` Honestly, I think what he's mistaking for me looking older is the fact that I'm much more mature than him, and Lacy, who later came back into our house apologizing for leading the cops here after her hit-and-run with Andrew's car. (Well, at least she was being a designated driver!)
April 3, 2010:
Ananda went to the store and got some birthday/half-birthday frozen yogurt, and proceeded to come over here, but then got lost in the confusing maze of rich neighborhood, partly because she thought that the street leading to my neighborhood was a dead end because of the No Outlet sign.
On top of that, she somehow locked her key in her car, so we had a rockin' time going back to her house for the other key, and continued having a rockin' time at my house until 2 in the morning, which was right before Troy got home from SakuraCon. (She only left because she had to meet Andre after his shift was over....)
April 4, 2010:
Today I was fatigued and hadn't gotten enough sleep so, after taking an early-morning shower, I slept in until noon, went to the gym, then went shopping for headphones (though not Skullcandy).
` Right now I'm listening to Troy's SakuraCon stories and Lucas discussing how he wants to smoke pot on TV and get in trouble for it to draw attention to him and the TV and movie people he's affiliated with.
` Anything for art, right?
April 7, 2010:
Better news for Lucas -- he's got the lead role in Dry Hump City, so now he plays J.R.! Apparently, J.R. is even more beardy and slovenly than David, so he's going to have to keep the damn beard.
` In fact, he's just thoroughly dirtied some shirts for the part, but they came too clean in the wash. Why is it that shirts you want to keep clean don't stay clean, but shirts you drag through the mud and everything else don't stay dirty?
Also, yesterday, the TV station guy, Michael Tuckman, called Lucas, and explained why he never got back to him with the Norm Squareby and the Angry Chef shows:
` Turns out that in December, right when Brad (the Angry Chef Himself) rented the U-Haul with nowhere to go (and then called the cops, blaming us for it), the owner of the TV station was doing the same crap!
Apparently, one day the Sheriff just showed up to evict them all after the owner hadn't paid rent for five months -- and also hadn't told this to anyone who worked in the building!
` Then, the owner got three enormous moving vans and packed up all his crap -- most of it was outdated equipment and junk -- and had nowhere to take it! Finally, the guy did find a building, but it was out of range of the digital broadcast antenna, so he is now illegally spliced into the Comcast cable!
` Even more annoying, he towed Tuckman's car, which had a lot of stuff in it, such as his documentations that his valuable items are what they are.
` The guy is nuts, literally, though maybe I ought to cut him some slack since he's dying of cancer. Presumably when he does die, Michael will be able to get that stuff back.
You know what else is funny? Michael Tuckman didn't realize we're actually poor and that all the 'gourmet' food that Lucas and Brad the Angry Chef catered that one day was either from the food bank or from our garden!
` We still don't have much money, but we do have years' worth of wood!
Vada looks stunned.
April 12, 2010:
SO BUSY! Lucas has been playing J.R. all weekend. He used a little of Troy's gourmet root beer for the front of his shirt... it was devastating. At least for Troy....
Voila! Lucas as J.R. -- Vada doesn't know what to think!
Ha ha! You peed your pants!
As Lucas was through Safeway before the shoot, with his coat open and his filthy shirt exposed, he got a lot of looks from customers.
` The cashier looked horrified until Lucas informed him that he's a not really an alcoholic, he only plays one on TV, and the beers were for the show!
On Sunday night, he came back looking really beat up....
But he was only pretending! I took a picture, thinking that perhaps he really did have a nosebleed from some stunt, but that was makeup, too! He has just driven all the way home with the fake-bloody tissue in his nose!
Also, what's funny is, Dry Hump City is made by Mormons, and there was this Mormon guy there who said he was against the show on religious grounds! Also he's a 35 year old virgin.
This guy I speak of was supposed to be promoting Lucas and Andrew Hu, creator of The Boob and Dry Hump City, to Rick Alden, who we were hoping might fund the making of The Boob -- but it turns out he's too uptight.
` By the way, you can read the first ten pages of The Boob, as well as watch a 'trailer' of people reading said ten pages and laughing their asses off here on his Facebook page.
Interestingly, the 'against my religion' guy said that Rick Alden would not approve of such a thing, and to prove this, he got online to show him. Right there on SkullCandy.com was the results of a survey that said 50% of pollsters approved of using BOOBS to improve the Skullcandy website!
` He dismissed that, only to find pictures of Rick Alden with his arms around scantily-clad young women with huge cleavages in all manner of situations. He dismissed that also, saying that Rick wasn't really like that.
And so, no, he wasn't going to promote Lucas to Rick Alden.
It's too bad because Rick was supposed to come over to our house tomorrow, but his trip was canceled.
Oh well, at least Troy and I got around to cleaning the house -- Troy tackled the entire main bathroom while I got up some of the non-meth head urine carpet stains, as well as windows and windowsills, dishes, and other things here and there.
Right now, it's bedtime, especially since I'd gotten up at 6 this morning and rode the exercise bike outside so as not to disturb the roomies. I am going to sleep on the couch, however, because Rick is snoring and Andrew has turned up his TV to drown it out.
April 13, 2010:
Aced my first Spanish Exam, did all three English readings, meanwhile Lucas was at the Fox's house, doing some more wood-chopping.
` Poor Nate is dealing with Rebecca's insanity. She's spending all this money on speech therapy for their 22-month-old, Charlie. Yes, he's not even 1 1/2 years old, but he's great at communicating -- signing and trying to talk -- yet she's blowing her money because she thinks he might never learn!
The speech therapist couldn't get him to blow air, because she was ASKING HIM TO, and Rebecca was so afraid that this meant something bad! So, to encourage Charlie to blow air, Lucas started doing this beat-box thing into Charlie's toy microphone, and Charlie imitated him!
` It worked... and it was free of charge!
Rebecca, being jarred out of her world of panic, viewed this with suspicion.
Lucas explained to her that he has had years of experience working in childhood development with hundreds of little kids Charlie's age and older, and had seen them learning to talk.
` He has a degree in psychology and knows all the stages and the ranges of age, and has trained other people on the job as well. Clearly, he knows what he's talking about, but Rebecca just kind of smiled and nodded.
She also gives Charlie sugar pills for teething pain, which also pisses Nate off to no end. Why does Charlie like them? Because they're sugary, not because they're painkillers!
April 17, 2010:
Andrew was storming around this morning, all pissed off, throwing things around his room and swearing. Rick, apparently not being attuned to Andrew, innocently asked; "Are you okay in there?" Andrew growled, "I'm just fine, Rick!"
` After Rick, Troy and I were crowded around, wondering what the hell was going on, Lucas went up to Andrew's room and asked what was wrong. Andrew replied that it burns when he pees. Apparently he had some sex he should not have.
` A few hours later, the cops came over and hauled Andrew off for missing court. So, he's got the clap, but he's in jail and can't do anything about it!
Sigh... this is why I don't get involved with meth-heads anymore.
Meanwhile I'm all carrying on and having fun with the kittehs as usual!
My landlady's lawn-humping dog!
...He's turned back into Lucas now, through the magic of SHOWERING!
Oh yeah, can't forget... MY SELF!
April 25, 2010:
Much has been going on, hence all the photos. For one thing, Rick has been snoring so much that we moved into Stinky Johnny's Former Stinky Bedroom... Violet is bummed because there's no more windowsill water to drink, nor can she jump out the window.
Well, it's nice and quiet for studying, anwyay.
Also, Lucas has further improved our view by pruning the neighbor's apple tree....
Well, the other day, who should walk back in the door unexpectedly but Andrew, who explained that he was freaking out from claustrophobia so badly that the cops just let him out of jail.
` Wow! So now you know, if you ever really, really want out of jail for missing a court date, alls you have to do is freak out!
Also, I wanted to mention that whenever I'm walking from my car to my first class and it's five-til 8, meaning I'm almost late for being early to class, a military trumpet sounds in the distance, so I yell "Charge!" and start running!
It's one of those little weird things I thought I'd mention.
Oh yeah, and we're having a Pampered Chef Party... and here's the star of the show right now, Lucas' friend Nate Fox (whose trees they've been chopping), the Pampered Chef himself!
Troy's mom was the only invite who showed up... but we had a rockin' time and some excellent food!
May 3, 2010:
Man! I've been so busy lately attacking my homework and stuff that I haven't really gotten to writing down any nutty things that have been happening lately.
Lucas, by the way, did not get the endorsement of Rick Aldin, but he did get some Skullcandy stickers and microphone-earbuds for an iPhone, which doesn't work with our cell phones.
Too bad -- Lucas coulda been the star of The Boob if only Andrew Hu had gotten the money to make The Boob!
` And now, apparently, Andrew Hu has signed away the script to Paramount or someone who probably won't make the movie, and if they do there's no way in hell they're going to let Lucas play the boob!
I've passed all my Spanish quizzes and tests with A's despite the fact that Lacy has been living here for the past few days, which freaks me out. She even asked me if I might give her a ride! Sorry -- meth-head squatters don't get rides from me!
Especially when they leave their underwear on the stairs!
Even more oddly, that was the second time I've been asked for a ride on the same day. Just earlier, I had been at a gas station and this guy with spiral earrings - presumably a meth-head or something - asked me which was I was going. I said I was going toward Evergreen and pointed down the street, which terminated at Evergreen.
` He said, "No, Evergreen is that way," and pointed in another direction (further down on Evergreen), then he raised his eyebrows at me as if I was supposed to realize that he caught me lying to him, which I wasn't.
He asked if I'd give him a ride to Bothell for $2.50, and instead of saying, 'You can catch a bus with that money!' I truthfully told him that I was volunteering at my college. (I was, for teaching ESL students.)
` He asked if I was going to my college and I said, "No, I'm going home first." He said, "Oh, to Evergreen?" I said, "No, I live in Mukilteo," which is on the other side of Evergreen.
` Eyebrows high, he said, "I thought you were going to Evergreen! Aha! Aha!" as in 'Aha, you are lying to me!' and walked off.
Well, at least I got rid of him.
And then, having gased up my car, I drove off, crossed Evergreen, and continued on to the Boeing Freeway, which leads into Mukilteo. See? I was telling the truth all along!
This happened, by the way, while I was on my way home from the computer shop. I paid 'only' $75 because it had a pain-in-the-ass virus I couldn't get rid of that was telling me to buy anti-virus software.
` I tried to get it to close and then go on the internet, but that didn't work, so I tried to trick it into connecting into the internet under the pretense of buying the anti-virus software... and THAT didn't work, either, so I was stuck with this popup window that claimed to be virus software.
` Pretty counter-productive for a computer virus, huh? Most computer viruses don't stop your computer from working, but rather hide in your browser and tell Amazon.com to give some guy money every time you make a purchase, or use your computer to distribute spam or something.
You can easily get twelve viruses in a day, but software like ClamWin, SpyBot Search and Destroy, and MalwareBytes, none of which I had updated in a while, can get rid of almost all viruses. I just wasn't using mine much, that's why they didn't work!
` Yeah, if you have anti-virus programs, it is important to utilize them!
These programs are free to download on the internet, by the way: Those ones that people buy are different mostly in that you have to pay for them, and because they tell you there's added benefits to using them over the free software, which are really advertising gimmicks, as any software expert knows -- that's why THEY use the free stuff, too!
Arrr! I may not slay computer viruses so easily, but I eat octopuses for breakfast!
Troy saw this and was rather shocked.
And I haven't even gotten around to what happened today! Lucas has gotten to Andrew (the roommate, not the filmmaker) about Lacy living here and all: She's back, and she took our wash out of the washer and put it on the floor, then proceeded to do two loads of laundry!
` As a consequence, our laundry is still in the dryer at almost midnight... except one of Lacy's dryer sheets must be in there because it stinks so bad! I'm going to have to wash my clothes again! Anyway, I'm staying up to make sure they get dry, and then after that I'll put Lacy's second load in the dryer.
` Apparently it's kind of an excuse so she can stay over again... she did apparently want to leave, but commandeering our wash was not the best way. Oh, here she is now!
By the way, Troy's memory cards have gone missing, as have one of my octopuses -- octopedes? I'm locking my office door.
Indeed, meth-heads should try not to mix... it's like trying to mix salt-water and rain-water... it doesn't turn out well!
...At least in the case of water, it's preeeety!
May 8, 2010:
The days have been flying by! The good news -- Lacy has been banned from the house!
Also, Jen, the girl who stormed out of the restaurant in an incident I wrote about on The Corrigendopedia, is apparently really cool when she's not arguing about arachnids.
` She cooked dinner last night and a couple of Troy's friends came over. Fettucini alfredo of doom, Cesar salad of doom, and stuffed poultry of doom! AWESOME!
May 9, 2010:
It's Mother's Day! I called my mommy. She's taking up painting lessons again! Called my Gramma, too -- she really liked the card I sent her!
And wait... there's MORE! That's right, more photos and more story on my Flickr sets...
Check out April and May 2010! You know you want to!