And it only took two days!
Presenting, Sex A-peel, a shoo-win in the 48-Hour Film Festival, starring my very own Lucas Ernst (a.k.a. Lou Ryan to his music fans) as the star of this short film about time travel, oranges... and just how damn sexy Lucas is as Van Saskin (though it's supposed to be 'Van Saskia' -- oh well)!
WATCH IT NOW! You know you want to.
Those Van Saskins sure are hot, aren't they?
There's more about the film, its production, and the other films in the 48-Hour Film Project in my journal entries, which also cover the real-life drama we've had over the past several days -- but first, a peregrine falcon that flew over the house one day!
May 13, 2010:
Terror strikes once more upon our humble abode! Our landlady called up and told us that someone will be coming over to look at the house tomorrow -- because they might want to buy it!
Apparently, because we're still behind on rent ever since we were screwed out of thousands of dollars collectively by the Crazy Couple Brad and Char, Drunk-O Steve and Robusk 'Stinky' Johnny, which I've written so much about starting last December!
` I may have mentioned before that we've been allowed to stay here because there's no way in hell they could get anyone else to rent here, they're seeing if they can sell this house -- for far more than it's worth!
I'll keep you posted.
May 14, 2010:
False alarm -- Landlady Roberta called to tell us that the person canceled. Then, Landlord Steve called, wondering if we had some more money for them.
Apparently it was a ploy all along, which makes sense because if they were really selling the house, we would stop paying them, period. Our original schedule was to have it all caught up by the time July's rent is due, but apparently they need the money NOW!
Also, Lucas has auditioned for a couple more movies lately; a 48 hour movie about a guy who time travels by eating an orange (which he will play the star of tomorrow); and another movie about atheist Christian bookstore owners competing for business, which he hasn't heard back about yet.
Here's another random picture -- a honeybee on the chive plant on our porch:
May 15, 2010:
Lucas has left for Seattle at four this morning, leaving me in charge of the house. He's off to run around and shove oranges in his face.
` What a hoot!
` He called me around 9:30 to tell me that he's been running down the street this morning, with lots of people asking him if he was alright and if he was being chased by someone. A couple of people weren't so convinced by the camera, saying; "Are you sure you're alright?"
` Well, I guess he's just a really good actor!
` Also, their crew got kicked out of this one area because some people with big, fancy FILM cameras were shooting a feature film. Well, I never!
Speaking of films, I got a message from Clint Berquist -- one of whose films in which I was the naked dead chick, I think. It's an invite to attend the screening of his upcoming Seattle Komedy DokumentaЯy. You can watch the trailer here -- it's hilarious!
Lucas has been using the exercise bike to keep him limber on such a cold day on the streets of Seattle because of all the stunts he's had to do:
` In one scene, he sees an old lady pushing a shopping cart that has oranges in it, knocks over her and the cart (a man played her double for that shot!), and then starts shoving oranges into his mouth.
` In a different scene, he materializes out of thin air in front of a guy who has just decided not to shoot himself in the head, startles him, and he pulls the trigger anyway! Whoops.
` In yet another scene, Lucas pulls this guy out of a brand new Lamborghini (that just happens to be orange) and throws him several feet away, then gets in the car... and who should drive off in the car? A 'stunt double' -- because there's no way Lucas would be allowed to drive the car himself!
` The coolest part of it is... Lucas has been so professional that other people think he's been acting all the time for many years -- no, not really, but now his career is taking off, I think!
And now for a cuteness break -- Violet and Vada at their most absurdly cute as they clean yogurt off their faces.
You're not going to believe this.
Since my mp3 player headphones stopped working unless the cord is bent at a certain angle, I thought to myself, 'what luck that Skullcandy founder Rick Alden sent us these Full Metal Jacket headphones!' (Well, at least the movie funding proposal got us one thing useful!)
Otherwise, I was going to have to spent $20 for a new pair. Oooh, expensive, right?
However, since there are three thingamajiggies on the jack -- one for a microphone as well as each ear -- they don't fit on the player as snugly as my last headphones, and at my first day bringing them into the gym, I was stepping into the elevator while trying to find a way to coil the new, longer headphones cord around my body and....
...My mp3 player fell exactly down the elevator shaft!
The headphones began to follow, but then stopped -- but the mp3 player had already 'let go' of the cord, falling several stories into the sub-basement.
There wasn't anything anyone could do.
After I'd had enough trying to exercise with four TVs, music and a movie playing in the background, I went nuts and sped down to Fred Meyer to buy myself another. But... my credit card was with Lucas!
` Luckily, he was driving back from Seattle and was only 20 minutes away, so he stopped by to give it to me.
So, in all, those new headphones indirectly cost me $50!
May 16, 2010:
Why didn't I test the new mp3 player out sooner? The headphone plug-in was wack -- it didn't work that well with the Skullcandy headphones, so I tried the headphones that came with it and those didn't work at all, so I know it was not my headphones!
Farewell, new mp3 player. I barely knew ye.
Unfortunately I couldn't exchange one for another because they didn't have any more blue ones and I needed an additional thing if I were to exchange it for a black one. So, I had to go back home and come back to finally exchange it!
I was smart this time by determining that the headphone jack -- though not perfect -- works more or less, before I left the store. This time, since the headphones that came with it (which I would never use in a million years) do work, I suppose that doesn't count as 'wack', so I'm sticking with this black mp3 player.
May 17, 2010:
Necisito cuatro mil dolores -- ¡pronto!
Seriously. So, not only are we almost $2,000 behind on rent, but my Jetta is soon to need a new clutch and that will be another couple thousand!
We just pulled the remainder of rent out of our asses (no, not literally), so I think that as long as we have no further setbacks, we'll be fine.
You can come out now, Violet!
May 18, 2010:
Further setback: our roommate Rick announced he'll be leaving soon because he lives way too far from his workplace at Skullcandy and is paying way too much for gas.
I swear I don't make this crap up.
Not that it's a huge loss. I think I've finally figured out why, despite Rick's adamant promotion of Lucas and Andrew Hu and The Boob film, nobody at SkullCandy told anybody about it, why roommate Rick couldn't even persuade Rick Alden to talk to Lucas, and why Alden only sent us stickers and a pair of headphones in an envelope for our trouble.
` It has to do with Rick's I.Q. being roughly equal to that of a small soap dish. I am seriously starting to think he is mentally retarded, and I can see why anyone who knows him -- like Rick Alden -- would be reluctant to take him seriously.
Ah, well, I did get a grant in the mail today for college. 'College' expenses include rent, don't they?
Oh, and by the way, I aced another Spanish test today! That's six for six!
You know, I was recently thinking to myself something ironic -- Lucas and I have lived here for about a year now and our newest roommate Rick is apparently the only one of us residents who's seen whales out the window! (Unless I shouldn't take him seriously about that, either.)
` Really -- just this past April Rick said he saw some gray whales a few times, as well as some orcas, early in the mornings before there are many boats out.
` And where was I? Asleep. Of course!
May 19, 2010:
Went to the 48-Hour Film Festival with Lucas -- and of course I just had to slip and fall in some mud on the way in!
` This year, the required line is 'I can't believe you just said that', the required prop is an orange, and the required character is a carpenter named Van/Vanessa Saskia, which explains Team Awesome's movie -- Sex A-Peel.
` Basically, Lucas is the star, Van Saskia -- except they misspelled it to 'Saskin' -- who eats an orange he shouldn't have eaten... and then he winds up traveling through time and unintentionally causing death and destruction in his wake on his quest to find more oranges. (The guy who played Kip Castille from Crypticon Idol, on which Lucas was Pinhead, was among the injured orange-bearers.)
` In the end, Van amazingly manages to double his sex appeal!
Speaking of which, this is the closest our neighbors get to Lucas' real sex appeal, since he's always hard at work in the yard when he's not acting or busy in his office....
He's been recovering an overgrown garden lately!
Anyway, at the film festival there were many other movies, but Sex A-Peel was put last for a good reason -- you can't really follow it up with anything! It's the best movie there, and I'm not just saying that. I know we're going to win!
` Not money, but Adobe software -- that's still awesome!
The very second film in the screening was pretty funny, though -- it was called Capital Energy, with the tech support guy on the phone with people, saying he's sorry for the inconvenience for the lithium gas leak and it'll only be fifteen more days until people can leave their homes, bla bla bla... this one girl was like, "I've been in my house for four days and I'm kinda running low on provisions."
` The tech asks if she has received their Capital Energy provisions package, and she says, yes, but it's outside on her porch, and he's like 'So what seems to be the problem?' and she's like, 'I can't open my door or I'll die!' and so he puts her on hold... eats an orange... then picks up and offers to sell her a containment suit, to be delivered to her porch....
` And Van Saskia? Oh, this one dies horribly.
` The end was pretty funny -- the bigwigs of Capital Energy are having a meeting about what to do after this mass-death catastrophe. "I know, let's change our name!" They start talking about names having to do with safety and puppies, and... "I know, LithCo!" "I can't believe you just said that."
You'd have to see it.
There were some other good ones... In one of them, Van Saskia is a former soldier from Afghanistan who is having some serious trouble on the construction site because of his PTSD, but he has a chance to overcome it, and oranges are used to symbolize friendship. Believe it!
In another, Adam just can't get it up for Eve, but apparently an apple will get him going! Problem is, barely anyone knows anything about fruit anymore, and they get scammed by a 'fruit dealer'! (It was funny when Adam assaults the 'fruit dealer', who drops a melon and the girl who was buying it screams, "My grape!") You can guess who the luminous carpenter would be....
In yet another, film a couple of douchebags decide to have some fun with the dorkiest private eye in the world by sending him on a wild goose chase... but little do they know, this guy's far from being a hapless dork -- or a private eye!
Oh, and I can't forget the one about the people actually filming their 48-Hour film, except after this really creepy Van Saskia asks them to squeeze him some orange juice, all the stars wind up shoving oranges in their mouths and dying dramatically because they were rendered poisonous by some kind of citrusy hell demon.
` That one was hilarious because it made no sense.
Speaking of oranges and death, this other film involved this guy who accidentally kills his roommate with an orange -- and now he and his other roommate can't make rent!
` So... they put a blanket over the dead body and show invite another potential roommate in... Van Saskia, who is then killed by another orange.... But, there isn't enough money in Saskia's wallet to pay for the rent that month. Well, NOW what are they going to do?
And if that wasn't enough hilarity, we blasted out of there as fast as we could to make it to the next screening -- Hump City, at the house of one of the filmmakers!
` We were in such a hurry that Lucas had to contend for bathroom space with me. It was amusing, but I don't think you want to know. Then, we were off to Dick's Drive-In... but they don't take debit cards!
` Lucas was going insane from low blood sugar by this time, so we stopped at a more evil establishment and went on to Hump City screening -- which was bedecked with food!
AND THE PILOT WAS HILARIOUS! Unfortunately, it was only a rough cut so the audio was hard for me to hear -- but there were many visual aids and flashbacks. I like how J.R. has a list of things he can't steal from Bob. Not one of them is 'car'... but one of them IS 'automobile!'
` But, Bob pointed this out too late, as J.R. and the other loser roommate attempted to use Bob's car to travel to the future in order to see if Svedka Vodka really is the best Vodka of 2033 so that they could file a law suit for false advertising.
` (In case you were wondering, this really is their actual slogan -- but you must be of drinking age to view the website!)
And even more good news... Rick is not moving out this month. Nor has he been killed by an orange, so we should have no more rent problems for a while.
May 21, 2010:
Today, I practiced Spanish with an ESL student from Mexico! And later on, I posted this and brought my Flickr account up-to-date... I took this photo of Violet just earlier:
I have some more May 2010 photos up for all to see!