Saturday, May 02, 2009

Screw the Crazy Landlady Barbecue - stranger than expected!

Only four people showed up, but only one stayed for more than a few minutes. That would be our neighbor, K., former dance instructor, who was telling me all about how she learned so much from modern romance novels (which her twin sister turned her onto) that she could teach a class on sex and relationships! "Sex is love," she told me.

Now that her husband is dead, she said she realizes what she wants in a man. She was telling me about a man in the neighborhood, whom she thought would be great to get into bed with, though he is her kids' age (46), but she said that he is a) a perfectionist and b) a player. In fact, he left our barbecue to have a little something with one of his girls.

If that wasn't wild and crazy enough, she managed to drink so much port that she passed out on the couch in the middle of a sentence! (I have a picture!)
` During that time, I went into the office for a sec and found John hiding behind the door. He said that he couldn't take the romance novel stuff.

When she woke up again, I said "Wakey wakey!" and she said, "Where am I?" Believe it or not, she went into the kitchen and had yet more port, and somehow dropped the glass all over the floor, then was trying to rhumba with Lou Ryan and B-Gangsta around the kitchen while they were cleaning it up and preventing her from falling over. (Wish I had a picture of that.)
` After that, Lou Ryan and B-Gangsta actually walked her back home in the rain, with an umbrella, to keep her from falling over while crossing the street. I got a picture of that, too!

Well, it wasn't much of a barbecue, as far as roasting animal flesh and fundraising and screwing the crazy landlady and live music goes, but I think we have one neighbor who knows how to party.
` She bakes us brownies on top of that, and even let B-Gangsta have the chives from her flower bed to put in the slammon!
` Tomorrow, we're going to go to her house to install a cat door for her Maine Coon cat, and I'm going to play the baby grand owned by her son, who only played it once.

That will be most awesomeness.

Oh, and also, tonight another neighbor's house had a little electrical fire. Guess who their landlady is?


G-Man said...

You mean I gotta go on Facebook to see this stuff?

G-Man said...

And what easy pickens it is here claiming the Top Spot!!

And runner-up hehehehe...G

Kingcover said...

Wait! Are we talking granny sex here??? LOL!

S E E Quine said...

Well, yes, in the post after this one, G-man, there is a link directly to the photos. Congrats!

Yes... granny sex!

Anonymous said...

You need to invite some science bloggers next time!