Saturday, January 19, 2008

New post, new web pages, new cell phone!

` Finally! With much digital Viagra and refusal to leave my computer I have finally 'gotten it up':

` It's a whole new little mini-section on my website, chronicling the events between December 23 and now! There's even new Christmas Eve photos!

` Speaking of photos, I have a few new ones. For example, I miss these when I have to get up early for school. Yay for winter!

` School is insane, by the way. My teacher is more insane. He has pet chickens and cats, sure, but most of all, he has bees. He likes to wear his bees around his neck. I love him so much!!! (I mean, uh, for a teacher!)
` He's discussed many things, including his eating of canines. He is also one of those rare people, like myself, who thinks that Anne Geddes' photos of babies dressed as parts of plants are disturbing.
` He said, "Now, I'm a gardener... I have this vision of harvesting my pea crop and shelling peas, except there's baby heads coming out!"
` In fact, I made some comics of various things he's said. I shall have to pen them over and put them up on my art blog! Eventually.

` But for now, how about some more photos? They tell an interesting story:

` This is my old phone. Can anyone guess why it's my old phone?

` Even the cats could tell it was dead because they completely lost interest in it.

` But, when I bought a new phone, boy howdy! The first thing that happened to it after I set it down was Violet's teeth!

` Luckily, this one is armor plated so it doesn't break! Even when slightly larger sister Vada comes and watches Violet...

` ...and gets to tasting it herself!

` That's all the photo action I got, so how about some funny stuff? On Wednesday, I went to a group discussion meeting at school. The first thing that happened was that I displayed my phone... and Cheshire Human called her cell phone on it, saying, "Gee, I wonder if I'll be there? Probably not."
` Though her phone rang, sure enough, she wasn't there. So she left herself a message. When her phone trilled with news of a message being left, she said, "I wonder who that could be?" Then she checked her message and found with great amazement that it was indeed herself who had called.

` Here are some more snippets from my Indestructible Notebook:

` Greatest Coat of Arms Motto: Sodomy non sapiens ("Buggered if I know!")

` After running to Subway and beginning to dig into my sandwich, I heard a distinctive jingle and turned in anticipation... indeed, it was the metal hanging from Dead Fetus Guy - more ripped than ever! "Wow!" I said, "you're more muscular than ever!"
` Our very own Skinny Little Roman Jesus said, "Why don't women ever say that to me?"
` According to the Dead Fetus Guy; "They do, just with disappointment."

` Their banter was something else!

` Another thing that happened was when Jesus said;
` "I need to drink less, dude!"
` "You do need to drink less dude!" said Fetus.
` "Way to miss the comma!"
` Etc....

` "The new movie is called 'I Am Not A Robot.'"
` "Does it star Al Gore?"
` "What about I Am Not Will Smith? That guy's awesome!"

` At some point, we were discussing this guy I'd seen when I went to the Y - he has crazy hair (no, not Xenophon) and an American Flag pattern tattooed across his entire face. According to Cheshire, he's the guy with the giant American Flag on his house. After being in prison for a while, apparently, he decided he loved the country that locked him up and is now covered in tattoos.
` I had a vision; a vision of me standing in front of him with my hand on my heart, saying, "I pledge allegiance to your face...."

` As I've spent all day making my web pages presentable, I must go sleepy-bye. But you must look at the web pages if you haven't already! The pig commands you!


Galtron said...

The pig commanded me. Spoony, it was better than I expected. So many things I laughed aloud at, starting with the fish trying to gang up on the turtle!

Like the title, too! But how can the death of a year be untimely if it's on the calendar and everything?

After all that, I'm still surprised to be the first one here!

S E E Quine said...

` I'm surprised you're the only one here. What's happened to all my readers?
` Thanks for being the only one here, Galtron! I knew I could count on you!

The Swill Man said...

Don't be so greedy when it comes to readers, Spoony. I have your head and limbs split between my two blogs, in terms of readers, so I'm even worse off.

S E E Quine said...

` I hope no one has died... I emailed Gareth about something and he hasn't responded!

Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

The Untimely Demise of 2007 must have taken quite a bit of time and work. It looks good. And, of course, I always enjoy photos—especially of kitties. Alex does, too.

S E E Quine said...

` Yay! Someone else! Thanks, Nick!