Saturday, January 06, 2007

Paid to be fat and ugly?

` The blog post I began working on four days ago continues to be unfinished, as I've barely been online since then. Until I get crackin', why don't I dredge up another wonderful tidbit from the vaults of my Blogger account?
` It's from the day I found this in my email inbox:

We're filming a 90 second film this weekend to be submitted to the the IFC (Independent Film Channel) contest, and have all of the actors lined up except one. We need a fat, frumpy, out of shape, dopey-looking male actor for a delightful cameo.

Character has no lines, but the opportunity to create a memorable moment on camera. Character will appear shirtless and dopey-looking on the screen for five seconds or so, and will have an opportunity to look as unattractive as possible. It will take about two hours of filming.

... (Yes, this is another Wonderproductions production... To see our last movie online, go to and click on Travius)
` Or just go here. Basically, it's a short film where a guy wakes up in the hospital after a futuristic version of an appendectomy and discovers that alternate versions of himself have accidentally been created and have for some reason fully recovered at this point. Hilarity ensues.
` Anyway, the email concludes....

Please send a pic of you at your frumpiest if you have one.

(Extra points for being unshaven!)
(No pay for this one, but all the day-old Balance bars you can eat!)
` Well, there ya go. That's the advantage of being a 'fat and ugly' actor - no one else can fill your shoes (much less your pants). Hooray for typecasting!

` And before I forget, another word on the sadly-cancelled show Exposure - the one that let the little guy show his stuff - one of the coolest ideas ever! I loved it so much! Apparently, some of its material even came from famous filmmakers!
` In fact, that reminds me, near the end of my TV-watching days a disturbing and hilarious 3-D animated series called Tripping the Rift was just making its debut. (I haven't seen it since, though I'm assuming it's still pretty good.)
` I paid this show much attention at the time because I distinctly remember watching an episode of Exposure years ago when they showed the ancestor of that series, featuring a very wibbly-wobbly version of Chode, the buxom android (gynoid?) Six, and the evil clown Darph Bobo. (This observation has been corroborated by Wikipedia.)
` I thought Exposure was so cool... well, apparently there's a whole channel of independent films, now! I wonder what that's like to watch?

` End Ramble.


Galtron said...

I was abducted by Dark Clowns once. I've never been the same.

S E E Quine said...

I can't imagine!! The horrors! The balloon animals! The big, scary shoes of doom!

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