Thursday, September 14, 2006

A random chunk of blog

` I've been taking tons of pictures lately and not posting them, in fear of overwhelming my readers. Well, how about some discombobulated chunks to get ya going?

` Here is the end of one such post about the more bizarre bits of life:

` I don't know what it is about creepy-crawlies today. First, I was attacked by bloodthirsy moths and now I've found that Crabby seems to be up to her neck in poison-loving ants and traumatized by cooties. That woman is soooo hilarious!

` By the way, I found something just perfect and especially disturbing for her tradition of HNT (Half-Naked Thursday). Something from Cecil Adams' The Straight Dope:

...Autoerotic asphyxiation arose out of the observation that men executed by hanging often got an erection and sometimes ejaculated. It's described in detail in de Sade's Justine and is mentioned in Beckett's Waiting for Godot. Why it works is unclear. The simplest explanation is that lack of oxygen causes lightheadedness, reducing inhibitions and enhancing the sexual experience. Masochistic fantasies, castration anxiety, and other psychological factors no doubt also play a role.

The problem is that it's easy to go too far. As little as seven pounds of pressure will collapse the carotid artery, producing unconsciousness within seconds. Many victims are bondage freaks and their elaborate bindings make self-rescue difficult.

Needless to say, this is not something you should try at home. Judging from the photos--hey, it's my job--not only do you end up dead, you look real stupid when they find you. I mention this on the theory that if fear of death won't stop somebody, maybe fear of embarrassment will.

`And one more thing: At the business campus, there's a statue that I don't quite understand. From the side, it looks almost like two normal men who have been attacked by pigeons....

` ...And from the front, they look like freaks!

` ...Well, it is a military statue. Maybe they're supposed to be frogmen?

` I just don't understand this town. That's why I think I belong here.


Galtron said...

I used to play with Cooties! I had no idea they were supposed to be crotch lice! Oh no!!!

Those are strange statues, by the way. Surprised you didn't make them yourself.

S E E Quine said...

` I'm flattered. I have actually made strange statues, just ones that aren't quite so disturbing.

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