Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Last Week's Madness

` Last Wednesday, I hung out with (and took a great many pictures of) Book Listener and X-Dandruff. ...No, he's still Dandruff, it's just that he's going to these wonderful injection treatments that make his psoriasis clear up and he is no longer crusty and scabby-looking. Keen!
` We took a walk and then I drove us to the clinic where X-Dan partook in one of his most delightful three-hour injection sessions.
` Hooray for needles!
` Then Book, Monkey Kitty Dude and I sat down and watched one of my new video tapes, Monty Python Live at the Hollywood Bowl. It's an ingenious show that was performed the year I was born, a fluid mix of live actors, movie footage and giant, two-dimensional stage props.
` If it interests you, I've just now noticed the back of the box, which has a picture of Hollywood from above and a picture of the cast dressed up on a beach somewhere. The text reads; Python Perceptivity Game - These two pictures may look identical at first, but if you look carefully you will see that they are in fact different. Believe it or not, there are 11,031 differences between the two. See how many you can spot: Over 11,028... Average. 6-11,027... Below average (obviously) 6 or less... Strangely interesting.
` If you enjoyed playing this game, you'll probably enjoy tapping your forehead lightly against big iron things.

` ...Uh, yeah. Well, X-Dan was quite out-of-sorts after his treatment, but later on he was doing well, and we all converged at... Denny's. Where I was attacked by the rowdy lesbians. The one who I've been stalking - at the library, at the beach, walking along the street, etc. - Rainbows, stole my red bean bubble tea. I wound up agreeing to get her more on her birthday next week, and some vanilla bubble tea as well for her friend.
` As you can see, X-Dan was once again wearing his force-field, and TallGuy was there, too.

` The strange, pink thing is Book Listener's Evil Cute hat. Here she is, trying to look as scary as possible:

` Rawr!! Because of a severe buildup in weirdness, TallGuy, X-Dan, Book Listener and I stayed in a booth across the room from the other freaks.

` After some food being assaulted by many people, including an annoyingly hyper, green-haired guy we call 'Straight R.C.' and this hot chick with a lipstick kiss mark on her neck - not an enemy, but rather X-Dan's friend - we decided to move on and do something else.
` ...So, we made a pie run to Albertson's! And run, we did! Look at Book book it past the pineapples!

` That girl can really move when she wants to! Like, if I'm trying to take a picture of her. Afterward, she took a picture of me with a red nose, though it's not like I had been intoxicated....

` ...That's actually her lipstick! Hence the exaggerated facial expression. Having shielded ourselves from the TVs stationed at the checkout stands (seriously, WTF?) and snagged the pie, we released Albertson's from our wrath.

` ...And went to X-Dan's raccoony Dad's house! ...No, the house is raccoony, not his dad, who was in bed and noticed us coming in, and so we informed him that we were intruders intending to go upstairs and do crazy stuff.
` And we did - we played Truth or Dare in X-Dan's attic bedroom! Oo! And it was dark, though it did have a fireplace in the middle of the room (on the left), which was nice.

` I don't think you would even be remotely fascinated by the 'truths', but the dares were interesting. They were the reason why there was much drawing with our eyes closed... at one point, Book Listener drew a woman's face in a three-headed giraffe body and turned it into an alien, which was exceptionally unsettling-looking.
` I also happened to have to lick X-Dan's nose and give Book the last ten seconds of a lap dance. At one point, she also bit me on the neck, and I became vengeful and bit her on the neck, and X-Dan said; "I'm glad I'm not a part of that." Then I said; "Hey, let's gang up on him and bite him!"
` And we did!!
` The two of us girls held him down as he squealed like a rodent and wriggled with all his might. At one point, one of his long, sharp claws dug into my eyeball, but not the important part. Though Book was very close to licking his ear, Dan is such a squirmy little boy that (I think) he managed to escape such trauma.
` Man, that boy is strong! I could barely hold down his legs and one arm! He was also humiliated by being made to moon his front lawn, and to impersonate an Anime schoolgirl.

` "When something really great happens, my eyes get as big as basketballs and my mouth gets really huge! I'm sooo Kawaii!!"
` Um.
` We weren't drunk... really!

` ...And that's a soda bottlecap, for the record. We were just really tired, and thus slap-happy (a term meaning 'silly' which I occasionally have to explain to people). I didn't actually get back home until almost two in the morning.
` But before we went out into the pouring, Ohio-like rain (which had started up abruptly), X-Dan had dared Book Listener to run up and down the street, and so she was going off to do that with her umbrella.... For some reason, I can't see her in this picture, but X-Dan is perfectly visible while spinning around just after taking off his force field.

` Apparently, he really likes getting wet. By rain, I mean. As proof, he has confirmed this.

` But we hadn't seen the last of each other.

` The next day, Book Listener's dog, Dante was really sad as she *gasp!* put on her only non-holey shoes and didn't take him for a walk! It was such a crime!
` I didn't take a picture of Dante's sad face, but I did take a picture of Tippy. You may be interested to know that Tippy's way of providing for the family is dragging in gloves, leaves and toys he finds outside.

` One night, Book's mother (Cake Therapist) was awakened by Tippy's very loud meow outside of her bedroom window. She went to let him in and she screamed as this horrible giraffe monster closed in on her! It was actually a giraffe mask he was carrying over his face!
` The previous day, X-Dan and I were looking at the giraffe mask, which now hangs on the wall, as well as the large box of objects that Tippy has dragged in. So, in case you've ever wondered where one of your gloves has gone, take solace in the fact that it is probably in a big box of other single gloves and such things that a cat has dragged in.

` Well... it is preferable to Fang's presents of bloody dead animals everywhere.

` Anyway, we went off to Zippy's, where everyone was gathered around for poetry reading/Zippy attention-giving. (That's him in the back.)

` That guy on the left was also an awesome poet, and quite gestural at that. As for myself, being the soulless robot I am, I found it hard to come up with a poem about Church and State, which was this week's subject.

` Surprisingly, I did manage to write something, though it wasn't what I'd intended. (Thus goes creativity.) Here goes:

I was just schmoozing with Michael Shermer,
When I went to see him the other day
.
He said he'd been a Jesus Freak learner,
Creationism had been his way.
Until he took an evolution course;
Completely different than all of those
Misperceptions the Freaks endorsed,
And he realized, it shows.
What were the real facts? What did scientists actually think?
The creationism distortions were enough to make one drink!
Understanding the scientific method as a useful tool,
He travels around and educates the masses,
Helps to keep keep pseudoscience out of our nation's schools
Because it makes learning slower than molasses.

` ...It was going to be more church-and-state-y, about the Constitution and whatnot, It just didn't turn out that way. In addition, X-Dan also came up with a poem, and you can read it here if you like.

` I must also mention that Jon Pon was there, singing his strange, Jon-Pon-style songs.

` He's a strange boy. For a while, he was even a radio D.J., which is a most strange and mysterious creature. Well, after all was said and done, that hyper girl who had been sitting in the front window (above Jon Pon's hand) caught a confetti of names, and... once again, the name caught was mine!
` No I didn't win for my writing skills (in which case I would probably never win!), I won by sheer luck! A Ruby Sipper was my free beverage, which I got in a 'to go' cup, just for Lou! While I was ordering it, I couldn't help but notice that Zippy had retired from his people.

` Awww! He's the cutest puppy ever! Soon after, my soulless and evil, twisted robot-y self began to chase people, until TallGuy had come to save the day....

` ...But, because he was a bigger nerd than I, he was no match for my fists of doom!

` After being thoroughly kicked out, Book, X-Dan and I set out into the cold-ish night. I put my Sipper out in the car, and then we went for a walk as TallGuy made his escape. Oh, the lamps we saw!

` As we wandered around, Book Listener was sure to take down the number to call for theater tickets. Apparently, she was going on a date with some girl to Rocky Horror Picture Show! Oh, I want to go!

` A little later on, I discovered that the Freaky Frogmen give you the power to glow from your eyes and mouth!

` Crazy! Filled with my new Frog-Powers, I was then bad and climbed on things.

` This is a horrible picture, I know, but I included it because it does show Everett's year-round Christmas lights....

` ...It also shows X-Dan's hard, wooden thing. Which he has because he's awfully stiff. (With psoriatic arthritis, unfortunately. Thankfully, the fun drugs are abating the symptoms pretty well.)
` Also, if you've noticed, X-Dan had whipped his cell phone out. He'd been talking with TallGuy, whom we met at Applebee's. Which I call Crapplebee's. Even though it's not really a crappy restaurant. I just like calling it that.
` Becoming grainy in the restaurant after Dan's force field was deactivated, we got a little wary of one another and fought, knife-and-fork until the appetizer was nigh.

` After much eating of quesadilla and flavored lemonade, which was all on TallGuy (thanks, TallGuy!), we went outside and engaged in conversation until the chilly weather was too much for us. Luckily, TallGuy had a nice big van, so we all piled in there to keep warm.
` While we were in there, we made fools of ourselves and Book Listener's non-holey shoes almost blinded me!

` While all this was going on, we created much condensation on the windows, which I drew pictures in. I bet at least a couple of passersby thought we was all gettin' down and dirty when the van started shakin'. Not quite.
` In realiy, a big ruckus had broken out and I vaguely remember that X-Dan was crushed horribly in the melee.

` I'm not sure what went on after that - alls I know is that I wound up at home in one of the wee hours and Lou, having just had his cast put on that morning and given much happier drugs than last time, was talking in his sleep.
` At one point, I asked him what he was doing with his thumb and forefinger. He said that he was measuring something in cubits. "You know, the ancient measurement like in the Bible."
` As entertaining as this all was, I eventually fell asleep.
` The next morning, I woke up by a cuddling Lou, whom I explained to what had happened the night before, and he said; "So, you were talking back to me in my sleep? That explains some things."
` Ha!
` Later on, long after I'd tied Lou's boots and sent him off to work, it was so sunny that I had to go for a walk.
` My lovely shadow:

` Like some kind of perverted pedophile, I began spying through windows on children at play....

` ...At the children's museum! I also clicked the shutter at the roof, which is full of cars and playground equipment, under the nearly-cloudless blue sky. Unfortunately, what I had actually done was take a video of my action of taking a photo - the camera lifted up and went back down.
` Ha ha!
` It's of no use, however, because I can't upload it. Grah.
` But that's okay. There are way too many pictures on here, anyway, and I have got to get some sleep!

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'd like to have a hard, wooden thing to flaunt! But as for Book Listener's hat -- it looks like something from Pokemon has taken over her brain!

Those statues look even weirder at night, also.

I expect you are having a crazy this week as well? I expect you to tell us all about it, young lady!

Spoony Quine said...

` He is so cute when he's being roughly handled.

` And Galtron, I regret that I cannot do as you have said. (As if the above post is not enough explanation.)

Anonymous said...

book listener what kind of name id that i bive that i am more insting than that i mine if you hade to pick i think i do or some thing i like you code have come up with names like art pinter or cat lover i think that macks more sines i like books but i love my cats more and you know i think you give my such i name yto plagg my with your insty i know your insin you have no need to prove your self.

Anonymous said...

look at my am i hot or what

Spoony Quine said...

` Indeed. You're hot stuff. Shall I call you Frog Blood instead?

locomocos said...

i love the photo of your friend, book running past pineapples! it's awesome!!!

Spoony Quine said...

` Glad you like. It's one reason why I'm glad the CDC has different shutter speeds - in low-light conditions I can create blurry madness!
` (With my real camera I can do that whenever I want.)

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