Friday, September 22, 2006

I hang out with Riff Raff... but I'm someone other than him.

` It's good to know that you're not anyone's imaginary friend (or actual riffraff?). Being a real person is something I've been really making an attempt at, especially since I haven't been the same after the Photo-Deletion Incident.

` At about noon today I went for a long walk in the sunshine, gazing at the fall colors that are just beginning to emerge. During this walk, I realized one reason (besides my visually impaired 'inner eye') that bothers me about never having the luxury of gazing upon my hard-worked-for Crappy Digital Photographs ever again:
` My much larger problem, it turns out, is that I feel violated. After being abused horribly my entire life until recently, I don't feel like I have my own body or mind, though I do feel like I at least have a chronic mental illness that I can call my own.
` ...See, because it's the only thing that's been constant in my life.
` Alright... so what? I was shamed just for the mere act of existing for eighteen years, I was physically violated, tortured with sharp instruments and then imprisoned with no medical relief, sure, but why identify with my reactions to those things if I don't even have to worry about them anymore?
` Hopefully.
` Y'know? ...I'd like to be a human being! So, why not be myself? Right? First of all, I can't be anyone else. And secondly, myself is more or less inviolable. ...Never mind the fact that much of my personality is missing. Still, growing another is always an option. And it's always yours!
` Also on this long, philosophical walk, I had decided to ease up on the Crappy Digital Photo-taking in my life because I realized that it's not always the greatest idea to rely on them to remember things.... And that losing them is like losing a part of my mind.
` So, I've decided to try to use my innate-if-undeveloped ability to visualize images in my head - as hopeless as it seems - in my normal memory functions. Or, if not that, at least drawings would be preferable.
` Also, I have decided to use what pictures I do have largely for less-than-real incidences, much like Crabby has done numerous times. (They're considerably more fun!) So, forget about very many more elaborate stories about my life. They don't belong on here, anyway, as I've noted - for the record, a few posts ago Winters had commented:

` ...It was a pleasure to read another of your posts, Miss Quine. Was this one a "science," a "wackmobile," or a "spurious brainchild?"
` I replied: I'm not entirely sure. A Spurious Brainchild, I suppose, as it is a creation by moi, based on my life.
` It may amuse you to know that my blog used to be almost exclusively full of science and wackmobiles, but now I've been putting up largely posts about my own life because my readers tend to find them much more interesting.
` ...I don't know what is more tragic - that people prefer my personal affairs to intellectual-type things, or that I'm a total sellout.

` There you go. In fact, I was just hanging out with my friend, Riff Raff, who told me that I seem like a perfectly real person to him, and so being myself would seem to be the best course of action.
` Unfortunately, we were then both abducted by some very angry and naughty Transsexuals and taken to their home planet.

` They proceeded to attempt much physical violation, though I managed to make sure that they were the ones being violated. ;)
` I don't know how I do it; I just do.
` It's a long story, but I eventually made it back home via an intergalactic quonset hut, and I have begun to feel like perhaps I am a real person, and therefore I do exist. Even more, I am made of solid matter and am fond of spanking gay men wearing sequin-covered panties!
` Perhaps there is hope for me yet!

4 comments:

Galtron said...

I'm a bit concerned for you and your hanging out with people from Transexual, but mostly glad that you're finding your place in the universe.

And puzzled that your facial features have turned solid lavendar. Or is that pink?

.......And why does Riff Raff have long hair in the middle and no hair on the sides? I thought it was the other way around! Are you sure that's him?

S E E Quine said...

` Yes, I'm sure that's him! It's just that he's... in his younger days.
` And, of course, when being abducted by aliens, your features may be washed out by strangely-colored light. It's a fact! Look it up!

Mone said...

cool pic!!

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