Saturday, May 06, 2006

Thursdays at Zippy’s

` In case someone has not noticed, another Thursday has passed. Of course, it’s Saturday at the moment. Therefore, I say it’s high time for me to show you the horrors of a belated episode of ‘Zippy’s’, as evidenced from my Crappy Digital Camera (with text written in the past tense, rather than the perfect past tense, because I’m too freakin’ tired to be grammatically correct).

` The evening was young and my blood sugar was low. Very low. Why I did not order something with lots of sugar bewilders me of the intensity of my stupor.
` I was sitting at the bar with a guy named Darren. He was really awesome to talk to. I could pinch him. But I couldn’t help but notice that, over his head, the java lounge’s overlord was watching his public from his perch above the movie screen.
` Behold! Zippy incarnate!

` Soon enough, he descended upon the people to demand that they scratch his every spot.

` I think he may have made a speech about how much he loved his customers, though I may have just been hallucinating from lack of food and sleep.

` Whatever it was he was doing, it appeared to bore people no matter how pleased he was with himself.

` Soon after, in the front of the store, Monkey Kitty Dude appeared, spike in nose, to stare silently and intently at me in greeting.

` In turn, Cheerleader approached with a big glass of what appears to be Italian Soda in order to defend herself from Monkey Kitty Dude.

` Apparently, this gave him so much madness (of some sort) that he temporarily went insane enough to make Adorable laugh.

` ...Before going back to his intent, silent staring mode, complete with cardboard symbols.

` Soon enough, it was time for Adorable to leave, as sad as that was. Walking in, however, Xeno said to him (in his second-most demonic voice); “Goodbye. Wait, no, hello. I forgot that part first.”

` In fact, if you look closely, you can tell he’s talking in a strange way. He does that a lot of the time. Nymphomaniac also walked in, though she didn’t stay long. Also there, as usual, was the very nonchalant ArchNova.

` As I recall, Dandruff was saying; “And my scarf? What’s the report?” and ArchNova gave such a response that I had suspected that a scarf of his was being tested in a lab of some sort. Apparently, ArchNova was supposed to have knitted him one six months ago.

` Sadly, the very huggy Dandruff – whom I’d done some sort of gesture towards that had somehow escalated into a fun, hand-slapping fight – also had to leave. So that left me with a bunch of other people, including Tall Guy. Luckily, he was quite fun to stab.
` It wasn’t long into the evening when Uber ADHD Girl and Scrappy got into a fight, rolling on the floor, although I was so messed up that I didn’t think to photograph this spectacle until it was too late.
` Either way, it inspired Tall Guy to eat his shirt. Which I also failed to photograph.
` And then, who do you expect to walk in but Jesus? Here he is ordering a sugar-filled, highly caffeinated treat from Marilyn:

` Naturally, at poetry night, there was much poetry reading, which I barely had the attention span for, much less to write a very long poem. The theme was ‘Where I come from’.
` Xeno’s was about how he was imprisoned for such a long time in this dark, wet place with this ‘thump-thump, thump-thump’ that was driving him crazy.
` Bravo!
` Mine was quite unspectacular:

I originate from hell.
I didn’t feel very well.
Until now.
I learned who I was
With what I had.
It is because I know what feels bad.

` ...Though at least it is coherent enough to make logical sense, knowing my history. After I read this, Tall guy and I volunteered to be everyone’s surrogate mother.
` It didn’t seem long until I was strolling away from Zippy’s with Nova, Tall Guy and Jesus. Strangely, since I was wearing my non-zipper-pocket coat, my CDC had fallen onto the couch, although someone (Scrappy, I think) was good enough to grab it and run after me!
` That’s good, especially since my CDC is more than just a Crappy Digital Camera: It’s vital for my internet activities!
` Eventually, we made it to the elevator of an apartment building I had almost moved into. For some reason, ArchNova was scolding the two men while the ‘elelator went up the hole’, though my sleep and food deprived, progesterone-fatigued memory cannot recall just why.

` We tiptoed through the corridor and into her apartment, where we talked about a variety of subjects while we watched the kitten perform her covert ninja duties. If you watch her closely enough, she explodes into a hyper ball of kittenish rage. Don’t blink....

` Oh, you missed it! Perhaps next time. As we talked, evening stretched into night. This highly modified picture was taken at around 21:00 hours:

` By far the funniest subject we talked about was the fact that, on occasion, people have been known to approach the aptly-nicknamed Jesus and pray to him! He is so amused by this that he goes along with it, saying; “Bless you, my son.”
` All he needs is a white robe. Or, at least, a T-shirt that says ‘I’m coming. Look busy.’
` And you know, he’s not the only person he knows who resembles the pale, long-haired Renaissance-aged images of the Middle-Eastern figure originally named Yeshua. In fact, he was thinking of gathering up some more Jesuslike men and forming the Fraternal Order of Jesi.
` Unsurprisingly, my most favorite ‘Jesus-quote’ from the evening would have to be; “So far, no one’s been healed, but apparently I work in mysterious ways.”
` Twas so.
` Also, ArchNova was good enough to feed me some cinnamon toast, which certainly perked me up for a while. I managed to use as much of that fuel as I could to walk back home...
` ...Alongside Jesus! He told me about the plasma center with a melted sign that we passed along the way – apparently, it had only been open for two weeks before being destroyed by a suspicious fire. I forget the rest. It was a strange story.
` And then I walked into my apartment and collapsed into a heap of exhaustion. In fact, I haven’t stopped being exhausted since. It really sucks because I can’t drive anywhere because my attention span is so short.
` But, hey, I suppose this isn’t such a bad post, considering I’m excaptionally fatigued and intoxicated by my endocrine system. Well, no time for a nap! Gotta load everything onto my CDC and get to my pre-scheduled internet ration!


Galtron said...

You walk with Jesus, you schmooze with Overlord Zippy... you know someone who apparently is a man of a thousand voices! As well as many others.... How do you come across such greatness?

Denny said...

not to mention super heroes, makes my life seem so dull... sheesh.

S E E Quine said...

` Oddly, I've all met them at the Dominion of Lord Zippy. I suppose that's because it's one of the only places in this dinky town that has any culture.

Galtron said...

Ah. It is much like yogurt, then?

S E E Quine said...

` Compared with Seattle - which I liken more to kefir.

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