Sunday, January 08, 2006

Incriminating Photos!

` I hope this post has a bit more point to it than the last. If not, feel free to punish me severely.

` Now, while I was in Ohio I had dinner with some of the former fellow Medina Writer's Club members (now members of the Broad Street Writers Club). It just so happens that one of them had a crummy little digital camera...

` ... and used it - with horrifying results!!!

` (Note: Since I am presently using EdgeWalker's internet browser, I can't upload pictures through Blogger, and so I'm dealing with an unfamiliar html code that just... won't... text-align! GAAGH!!)

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
` Curious observation: Though it says 'Sara's Party', I was the only person who did not receive a copy of this image from the owner of the offending camera!
` ...Perhaps he knew what I would do with it? Hee hee.

` So anyway, who are the people behind these skewed faces?

~ The first victim is Martha, whose digitally disfigured expression looks
just thrilled to be there. Actually, I think that's pretty accurate considering a loaded camera was being pointed at her head.
~ The second is the attractive-but-not-very-attractively-rendered Chrissy the Cookie Chick, who's been severely overworked during the holiday season due to Cookie Superiority.
~ In the center is the Perpetrator Himself, Danald the Majorly Distorted. Apparently, his punishment is to be a pixellation-burn victim.
~ Below him to the left is possibly what vaguely may be Franz of Too Many Surname Consonants, who isn't known to write much - he mainly communicates verbally.
~ To the right is George, whose soul - thankfully! - was probably not captured due to the fact that the camera misrepresented him more than anyone else there. A clemency in disguise!
~ And yes, the bottom one's supposed to be myself (in the pinstriped blazer my mom had just bought me) giving one of my coy, evil looks. Instead, of course, I appear to be some kind of cretinous, plaid-wearing poltergeist who's doing a horrible job of looking innocent.

` A veritable freak show, no? Well, in the future, expect some much better quality images from my new crappy digital camera!
` ...Just as soon as I get a working computer of my own on which to install the software.

7 comments:

The Swill Man said...

I can't enlarge it! I must see this horrifying face of yours!

Spoony Quine said...

` Sorry, can't help you - believe it or not, that's actual size!

The Swill Man said...

Oh, really? That must have been one shitbox camera then. I wonder what the thumbnails to those pictures would look like…

And for what it's worth, in that tiny little 100-pixel wide face of yours, you look sort of like my mother in her younger years! Real! True! Absolutely bone-chilling!

Spoony Quine said...

` Perhaps I'm a clone of hers!

` Yeah, I was surprised at the lameness of those photos - my crummy new camera is 1200X1600 pixels!
` However, it's possible that the image has been drastically shrunken for easier emailing - a crime you won't catch me committing!

Anonymous said...

Can't wait to see your photos!

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Spoony Quine said...

` Oooooooohkay... like... this post is even over a year old by now... Very clever way to get spam into my inbox....