Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Solution: Eat the enemy!

` All this talk about eating livers and brains just makes me want to become a cannibal, so I can devour all who try to torture or kill me! ^^

` Yeah, yeah, I'm technically a vegetarian. However, that only applies to innocent animals that are most likely capable of suffering. Some of the schmos in my life haven't been so innocent. No, I think I shall just eat them all. That would get rid of them!
` MMmmmheee heee heee. I could just... maim, rend, tear, mangle, destroy, spindle, fold, mutilate, gouge, cripple, gore, deform, savage... Ooh! The possibilities!

` And afterwards, I could just eat what's left. That should take care of them! Some of my concerned friends have suggested that I try vegetarian human flesh (i.e. Hufu), but that's not the point. Assuming that's even a real product, albeit with a hilarious marketing strategy, that stuff's for wimps! Can you imagine putting the Green back in Soylent?

` Soylent Green! It's not really people - it just tastes like it!

` Hm. No, I'd rather get real human meat from real humans, thank-you-very-much. If you'd like to become my dinner, just attempt to draw and quarter me!
` That'll show you.

` Well, off to run errands.

4 comments:

Amber said...

Strange, I just had a similar conversation with friends this weekend. I totally would eat a human before I'd eat a cat or dog, or horse, or any of that. And Hufu sounds awful!
Why do you always post in rainbows?

S E E Quine said...

` M-heh! Join me!!!

` And my posts are always multicolored so that my eyes don't get lost or bored while reading them. Especially on the long ones.
` The normal font color provided is just kinda... eck.

cassie d said...

Hufu?
HAHA!!

And really, what would Soylent Green SANS people be? Soylent Grey?

LOVE IT!!!

i don't know about eating actualy people before i ate a mindless creature. True - being vegetarian i'm sure you wouldn't want to harm ANY creature - but why humans over animals? I mean, i saw Delicatessen - i still wouldn't do it (poor little clown guy!). I also saw Eating Raoul and i still say NOPE!!! The only instance where i MIGHT consider it, was if it was like The Cook, The Thief, His Wife and Her Lover - cause that looked pretty yummy.

Galtron said...

Yes, poor little love-stricken clown-guy. I thought he was delish.

"How much do you weigh?"
"63 or 64 kilos. Why?"
"You're not exactly hefty. The job I've got takes muscle."

Mmmm.