My Sketchbook is Full of Brak!

` I've been thinking that perhaps I should ask EdgeWalker to digitally photograph my sketchbooks so I can post a bunch of my drawings. Wouldn't that be fun?
` I am an artist, too, you know. I've been going through my old sketches lately...

` I sketched my Katie-cat a lot. She was a beautiful brown-striped Tabby-synnian if I ever saw one. I'll definitely have to put those up. She was indeed the greatest cat in the world, period.
` No, I'm serious. She didn't do anything I didn't like besides occasionally tearing up the carpet and repeatedly pestering me to let her into the fenced-in area outside the house each night. Her favorite thing to do was to curl up beside me and purr very loudly.
` Katie loved me so much! She followed me wherever I did go. Even when I drove us across the country! She even got to see Old Faithful while it was still truly Faithful. How many cats can claim that?
` That's why Butter Cookies - who bites like a declawed cat (I swear, she's not!!!), has a purring deficiency, and meows to the point of nausea - really bugs me. Then again, she's young and naiive.

` Besides Katie and other pets, I drew some people who happened to be handy, a few comic strip-type things, and many inanimate objects such as dried fish, bottles, a nearly-assembled airplane, etc, etc. Just telling you isn't the same as seeing them. But I also drew some... CARTOONS! Which many people have heard of...

` It's clear that I watched programs such as The Brak Show enough to sketch the characters many times and write down a bunch of quotes as close to verbatim as I could. They're so nifty!
` As you can see, Brak and his quotes are apparently good enough to find themselves on things such as Magic cards...

` I remember the first time I saw the weird talk show spinoff Space Ghost: Coast to Coast.
` Space Ghost (the idiotic superhero) was interviewing Conan O'Brien while the band-leader, Zorak (evil space mantis), was being creepy; and Moltar (of the molten people), well, I like Moltar. He's cool.

` Yes, Adult Swim has indeed corrupted me. Thank goodness I no longer have this thing called 'television'.

` I don't remember seeing Brak himself, though, until I saw a commercial in which his toothy face and boots were sticking out of a pickled beet costume.
` He was singing:

I'm hot for ya, baby,
I'm a pickled beet!
I'm red, but not embarrassed
And I am good with meat.
Of course I make an excellent borscht!
And I'm hot for ya, baybaaah!

` Um... well, at the time, I had nothing else to do at night, so I made sure I also saw The Brak Show the next time I perused Adult Swim.
` I thought it was pretty funny when the cute little former space pirate came onscreen, with this goofy voice, which he used to say weird things and sing little songs, and, yes, he would even dress up as produce.

` It's sad how easily entertained I am.

` But there he was, Brak, cute and innocent as always. He says things like:

But it's my haunted pocket! When I bought these pants I found a note in there, it said 'inspected by number forty-seven.' Number forty-seven?! What about the other forty-six? Were they not good enough to inspect my pants?!

` Even when he knew he would face danger and brutality:

Mr. Tickles, how d'you, how d 'you think Thundercleese is gonna take this?
Oh my God, he'll tear your arms off!
But I love my arms! That's where my hands live!

` Or death!

I don't want to die! I'm almost finished with my macrame!

` I also liked his hulking, robot neighbor, Thundercleese, who lives in a funky fortress with a trap door for intruders and people like Brak...

Hey, can I ride that tube again? I haven't had that much fun since I chased my hamster all the way to St. Louis! Have you heard that one?
Silence!
I'll save that for later.
Follow me!
Hey, what's that over there?
The Sword of Slaughter!
Oh, boy! What's that over there?
The Canon of Fear!
How 'bout that?
Missiles of Unmentionable Terror!
What's that, is that a beach ball?
No! It is a Battle Sphere of Doom!
What do you think that thing is?
That's a light switch.
(Disappoited.) Uh-huh.
(Raises arms.) Of Total Devastation!
You don't say?

` His friend, Zorak, is as homocidal as ever here:

Hey! Why are you all still alive? Oh that's right. It's only Tuesday.

` They get along so well...

Hey, Zorak, guess what I'm gonna be at the talent show this year?
A loser.
Ehhhh! Wrong! I'm gonna be a potato 'n' sing my amazing potato song.
Eh, I can't wait not to hear it.
Whaddaya mean, aren't'cha gonna be there?
Oh, I'll be there. Eh, I'll be there.

(Fade to Zorak's talent show fantasy...)

Burn! Burn!! Mua ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

` Although, Zorak doesn't get along too well with Thundercleese:

Man, I don't think Mr. Thundercleese likes you.
Nobody does. That's the way I like it.
I like you.
Well quit it!
I can't, Zorak, and I'll tell you why...

Friendship is like an ointment
After you've been stung by fifty bees
Wherever you rub it, it always feels better
Because it's a topical analgesic!

` ...Yeah. Brak's parents are equally... interesting.

Honey, I think there's something wrong with Brak.
There's something wrong with all of us, Darling.

` This is very, very true. As I said, interesting... His tiny little dad especially:

No more of this! You need to get your feet off your head, and your pants to your ears, and go help someone who has no feet! Because the footless animals cannot walk over here on their little non-footed areas and tell us how hungry they are, now can they?

` Of course, I suppose his insane ramblings make more sense when they're in context, though I don't know the context for that one exactly.
` But I do have another rambling - from an episode where Brak hadn't done his homework, but he knows about a time machine...

So here's what we do. We go back to Friday...
And we make a kite out of squirrels and fly it to the moon?

Silly Brak.

How are we going to find enough squirrels to make a kite?
Are you really that stupid?
I dare you to say that again, except this time say "I think you're really smart and I love you."

Eventually...

We need to go back to the day homework was invented! And kill it!

So they go back in time, pretending to be the Presidents of the Future, and prevent homework from ever being invented! At the end, Brak's little dad says...

Life is too short to worry about eating and making kites from animals. Better to use your time for the schoolwork. Only at the school, of course. And maybe you'll grow up to be someday the President of the Future! Or you could be snatched up by a gigantic terrible bird and torn limb from the limb alone on a mountain top. Eh, do you understand what I'm saying, son?

` Such wisdom... he's also very good at telling strange and amusing stories:

Long ago, in the days when the buttery lobster walked the Earth, he was ruled by the delicious crab.
Oh, don't tell that story, he'll have nightmares.
No I won't! What happened to the buttery lobster, Dad, huh?
He was strangled, by his own bib... Many people suspected the delicious crab...but he was nowhere to be found... Unless that's him right behind you!
Oh no!
Look out!
(Brak runs away.)
Ah ha! I fooled you again, boy! Go change your pants.

` Oh well... when ya can't post pictures, you can always post some of the text. In case anyone's interested. Even though it's not original. Although some of my sketch notes are! But they only go along with my drawings and you wouldn't understand them.
` Hmpf.

` Until next time...