Thursday, August 11, 2005

I Got a New Drug... It's the darndest one ever!

` There's a rainbow to my right and a sunset to my left. In between the two, Phil's cousin Matt is playing Halo. He got here (from Columbus, Ohio) just today, though I've been too drowsy from my new prescription to really go anywhere with the guys.

` And what is this new drug? I bet you'll find this amusing:

` I've been prescribed many things in my life for my emotional problems, including: Celexa, which wasn't effective; Zyprexa, which caused 'halos' to form around lights in my field of vision; Zoloft, which somehow caused me to gain thirty pounds; Geodon, which ironically made me constantly vomit and convulse for two weeks and lose the thirty pounds; Abilify, which made me constantly twitch, rock back and forth, and act and talk just like a crazy person; Wellbutrin, which caused a painful seizure and an even more painful hospital stay; more Zyprexa, which caused me to weave across four lanes of traffic about five times because the street lights obscured my vision; Depakote, to prevent me from having more seizures, and; Nortriptilyne, which makes me sleep twenty hours a day and suppresses all my emotions entirely.

` And what did my psychiatrist prescribe just yesterday?

` Benadryl.

` *Ahem* - I actually wrote this earlier about my experiences with over-the-counter allergy medicine:

` I would have these internal struggles with myself, trying to rationalize my actions. I'd think: "But I'll be able to calm down enough to do something important! My mind seems so much sharper... and I actually stop feeling bad!"
` And I'd counter: "You only think it clears your mind because it makes you feel that way! It actually is just making you all drugged up. No wonder you feel much better, too - your muscle tension is so low! That's no way for someone to live their lives!"
` Well, I need a clear mind and low muscle tension, and Benadryl's actually worked on those counts... so... that's what she told me to take!
` Ha!!!
` It actually amused me so much that I told Joey 'Swill Man' Migeed about it when I saw him on AIM. You know,

` Stop LICKING ME!!!

` Oh, sorry. Butters has gotten back into her old habit. I hope this means her eye is feeling better. Well, time to put more salve on it! C'mere, kitty!

` I'd go, but as I've got quite a reputation for making my blog entries monstrously long, why stop now?

` Well, I still have part of our last IM session, though not the part about traveling to various countries. You see, Joey's been in Cairo for quite a while now, though he comes back to America tomorrow.
` Cairo sounds like an interesting place to go, but what do you think we actually talked about?

Me: what's STRING spaghetti, anyway?
Joey: you don't know? the long noodles!!
Me: I just call that 'regular' spaghetti.
Joey: yeah...but to some people "regular" is elbow macaroni, so I give it a name
(Very long lull.)
Joey: yum...spaghetti
Me: Ah... good idea...Weird. 'regular' spaghtetti = elbow macaroni. I hear that in Italian their word for 'pasta' is 'macaroni'. And vermicelli means 'worms' or something. Why don't we all call pasta by its description? like; 'I like the green, corkscrew kind'
Spaghetti's my favorite, though. I think the word means 'hair' or something. I forget.
Joey: heh
Me: Yum... hair. "More worms, please!"
Joey: spaghetti is good stuff....and I love the frozen pizza that comes in those yellow boxes...don't know if you have it over there...on the hip 'n' swingin' "west coast"
Me: in the yellow boxes? What kind?
Joey: i forgot the name....there's also an identical kind in red boxes called Tostinos or something
Me: Oh, Totino's. Yeah. You know what's funny? I've seen Canadian commercials for DiGiorno frozen pizzas and they're called DeLicio for some weird reason. Hee hee.
It's not delivery, it's DeLicio! (It's the "cheesiest!")
Joey: them crazy Canadians
Me: I didn't think it possible, but their humor also tends to be even dumber than ours, from what I've seen on their shows. Kids in the Hall at least was weird, but.... I don't know. Then again, is there anything worth watching on TV in America that much? So many shows are too stupid or whatever to be funny.
Me: (Their commercials are the same way, somehow... they're even stupider than ours!)
Joey: gotta love Family Guy
Me: Oh, yeah... that's why he's a comin' back from the dead! I couldn't believe they cancelled that show! Of course, we can't get Fox with our puny antenna.
Joey: hah....well, I'm going off for a few minutes, because I need the phone to order some KFC...I haven't eaten anything all day
Joey: bye
Me: Happy finger-licking goodness! I gotta get to bed, though.

` Now don't you feel so priveleged to have read that string of total mundanity instead of something remotely interesting?

` I call it 'reality blogramming.'

` Also, if you noticed, I tend to type a whole bunch, and not just on my blog. But starting from now on, I shall work on a new technique I've decided to call 'subtraction' - saying more with less words. Working on this technique, I can write my novel, 'CM', more effectively!

` And as soon as my internet service comes back online I'm going to post this.

` It's nearly twenty four hours later, and our ISP is back up!

` But first, I must tell you what happened last night:

` The headache I've had for just about two years suddenly started hurting so much that tears started pouring from my eyes. It's a very interesting experience for me, personally, because all I could think of was how my dad would say; "Stop it! You have no right to cry! Who do you think I am, some idiot?"
` I was trying to stay quiet about it, but then all I could think about was my dad saying with great disgust; "Oh, crying quietly like that. People think that's so grown-up, but it's not."

` The only thing worse than having a migraine is to think that I'm doing something wrong when I'm reacting to it. No wonder I kept apologizing because I woke Phil up, who then made things worse by getting all agitated and cranky and wanting to take me to the Emergency Room. I decided to lay back down, but then I started gagging. Strange, I didn't feel that queasy...
` Meanwhile, he was saying; "You're starting to panic. Calm down!" and I was shaking my head.
` Then somehow, vomit erupted a couple times onto the sheet below my head and got in my eye, but I didn't feel anything. I think it might have something to do with the fact that both of my eyes are completely numb right now.
` Well, I got into the bathroom and washed up, Phil steam-cleaned the bed and then threw the sheets into the washer, while apologizing to Matt, who was sleeping on the couch about four feet away.

` And you know what was really weird? I got out of bed and Matt was in the last level of Halo - which I've never been able to get past - and I apologized for making noise last night and Phil stomping around and bickering only feet from his head. ("How do I get these in?" "Just throw the sheet in!" "How do I get this other thing in?" "You have to wait." "What cycle do I put this in on?" "I don't know." "Then I guess this doesn't get washed." "Philll! I can't see!")
` Matt said; "Oh, that's okay. The only time I woke up last night was when the cat sat on my chest this morning."

` What a sound sleeper!

` Also, a little later, he actually beat Halo. Something I've never been able to figure out how to do because of the copious amounts of tentacle-creatures.

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