Voobaha Mailbag!

` Letters! I've got letters! I've got (electronic) sacks and sacks of letters (not even intended for me)... LETTERS!

* I'd apologize to David Letterman and the CBS Orchestra et al... but frankly, things like Rupert G. letting people sit in the Hello Deli ice cream freezer are beneath even my standards: They are not worthy.

` Does anyone here care about Bill Mumy or Robert Haimer? I've been seeing a lot of Bill's face lately because of EdgeWalker's current obsession with our Babylon 5 collection. (Wow, that Lennier guy is kinda adorable... in an alien mystic sort of way.)

` Um... It's sad... this is the way I usually think of the Barnes with the long, red hair...

` BUT, ENOUGH OF THIS... THIS...

` Also; yar, I'm a pirate!

` People have been talking about Barnes and Barnes performing live and whether or not a DVD of this should be made. Also, one person told of their experience of going there, including getting lost and stuff, and different acts.... Sounds so much more fun than I would imagine - after all, I've never been to a concert. Well, unless you count that one at OSU I was dragged to. No idea who that band was... I can only remember the earsplittingness.

` Wanna hear more stupid and pointless gossip - stupid and pointless that is, unless you like the Barnes Bros. It might then be interesting.

` This is generally what is going on... let's see... looks like a lot of people attended B&B's B.O.R.E.D. concert, actually:

Nunki was saying how at the concert, Art was wearing the yellow jacket from the back cover of Amazing Adult Fantasy, while Artie 'was lovely in his trash bag' repeatedly taunting Art. They played all kinds of fun songs, including; 'Something's in the bag, Mumy.'

Kimmy-Poo sez: ...They opened with a very acoustic version of Party in my Pants and closed with bringing Dr. Demento as well as their kids onto the stage for the Fish Heads finale.

Another fan sez: I enjoyed the BORED concert a great deal. It was fun to see Art and Artie up there on stage, doing some songs in a very organic manner. I hope that this is the beginning, not the end, or another wait for fifteen years (or how many since the Dr. Demento anniversary show?).

Me too, cuz I missed it!

David G replies to Art, who said; 'Wish us luck!' Dave sez: 'But the austere Lumanian aristocrats Art and Artie need no luck! You were both in top form last night. It was a great time (I think everyone there would agree, right?). My wife and I last saw you two on stage together at Dr. D's 20th Anniversary Show at Perkins Palace in Pasadena (man, has it really been that long?). You were great then, and you were great last night as well. We wouldn't have missed it for the world. Please don't make us all wait another decade or two for more!
` Oh, and the nods to Ogden Edsel and the Wildman were pretty darn cool.

Any more of my usage of the word 'sez' which is not a word at all, will involve me being brutally beaten. By me. In other news, I really wish I could have gone to the B.O.R.E.D. concert... because being bored is no substitute.
` Also, any more of my horrible puns will involve myself being thrown out of the window by me.

` We had a great time playing (and maybe we'll do it again sometime!) and it was a pleasure to meet the infamous Nunki, old pals like Kimmy Poo, and of course, the great Dr. Demento! We met lots of the cool new demented artists too. A fun time was had by all! Even Art....
Love, Artie...

Voobaha,
` Thanks to all who attended last night's gig. Glad we survived to tell the tale. I had a swell time. The set was indeed recorded on digital video by my talented son, Seth Davis Mumy. I'll have to watch it and ruminate on whether it's something B&B should "share" with you guys. Perhaps we could look into manufacturing a DVD? Haven't seen it yet... who knows?
` Although my talented and beautiful and oh so sexy partner was compelled to attack me non stop during the set, I think it was still fun. Not sure.
` It was great to see Dr. D and old pals like Kimmypoo and Nunki, and other things too.
` I left my setlist at the gig, so I'm not sure of the exact order... I'll bet the cruel and sadistic and sweaty bag wearing smegma breath gorgeous hot sweet Haimer honey can share the correct setlist with you all. Off the top of my head, it's not absolutely correct... here's what we performed.
1) PARTY IN MY PANTS
2) FRIENDS LOVER NO MORE
3) TOUCH YOURSELF
4) THE BOOGIE MAN AND DAN
5) AH A
6) MEDLEY: LOVE BUTTON-SEWEY-HOLE-BOOGIE WOOGIE AMPUTEE-LOVE BUTTON
7) GRANNY AND THE KID
8) THE LITTLE MAN
9) THE VOMIT SONG
10) HOMOPHOBIC DREAM # 22
11) PINEAPPLE PRINCESS
12) WHEN YOU DIE
13) A DAY IN THE LIFE OF GREEN ACRES
14) DEAD PUPPIES
15) FISH HEADS

` Anyway, who knows what the future holds? I'm thinkin' of quitting showbusiness. It's just too hard. Do you blame me? Gimme a ride down the hill.

Voobaha,
yeah
art

Sounds interesting. But I hope Art doesn't disappear off the showbiz map. That would be a tragedy. And now... time for a fight or something! Nothing like shallow sensationalism. Yep... I feel oh so dirty.

There was this part about Joey... also, he mentioned my blog on May 1st, because I mentioned his blog (now called the swill files), which I stupidly deleted already, but it was something about selling the video and wondering about its quality... I don't think he meant anything by it, and I now go back to Art's insane outburst:

dearest crazy joey... you speak of "professional" quality and find that applicable to a Barnes and Barnes product? Are you NUTS?! Did you like Voobaha? Did you like Spazchow? They were recorded on a 4 track tape recorder in my living room. Not exactly Steely Dan "professional quality". But they sound pretty fucking GOOD don't they?
Did you like the Fish Heads film? How about Love Tap and Pizza Face? They were filmed on a hand cranked 16 Bolex camera. Not exactly George Lucas "Star Wars" "professional quality"... yet... those Barnes and Barnes projects have a unique VIBE and they don't hurt you eyes or ears when you watch and listen to them do they?!?

`I'm like... ooooo! 'SCATHE!!' Billy's yelling at Joey. Ngngngng!

` Hey, maybe you've seen "When you Die"... THAT one was done on a Kodak super 8 camera!! And a cheap one to boot! So, did we take the time to edit and produce and pay to manufacture and package and release a DVD of the concert, shot on a Sony digital video camcorder, consumer model, from a fixed tripod from a nice seat in the crowd, run by a 15 year old, where it's nice and shaky once in awhile and goes out of focus for a few seconds... where you can SEE us and HEAR us just swell and experience the concert and it's kinda like being there for those of you who weren't there... No... it won't be "professional quality" compared to the EAGLES! so.. don't buy it, you ling, fez head, gunky, moon calf, jabbernow, luddy duddy! Buy Star Wars and the Best of the Eagles on DVD and have a swell time watching em from your sofa in the cornfield, cuz this won't be nearly as Professional as that!
` But I love you, crazy Joey. I truly do. With a festering passion that's building inside me that overwhelms my common sense. Come on over for some beer and cheese won't you, dear boy?

>sheesh!<

yeah
art

Oooo... I just like it when newts get angry at each other... Sometimes they gnaw each other's limbs off! (Being newts, they thankfully grow back) So Joey's reading this and he says:

I fell over laughing.... okay. Let's clear this up.

Voobaha and Spazchow were great albums. The fact that they were recorded on semi-pro equipment in a den doesn't hurt their greatness. In fact, that fact added to their appeal. However, it's extremely easy to get videography wrong. I know. I directed a frickin' talk show on public access TV. So I'm an authority, baby! I know that "professional" isn't the first word that springs to mind when you think of Barnes & Barnes, but people have a very low tolerance for non-professional videography. They point out the shaky camerawork and the fuzzy audio. With music, they can accept artiness, but not with video. No way, man. Just letting you know. And again, I'll buy the disc, no matter how good or bad the camerawork is.

Then...

My partner the brilliant and volatile reclusive Princess Haimer didn't like the way I "spoke" to crazyjoey. Now he's all mad at me. As usual. So, I wanted you folks to know how deeply I love you all and respect you all and appreciate you all and I really wish you would all get naked and take a hot tub together and then send me the poloroids.

yeah

'Take a hot tub together?' Hnhn! That somehow sounds weirder than what he intended to say...

Aw, don't be mad at good ol' Art, Artie. I admit he took my comments a little hard and his response was hilariously long-winded, I'm used to being yelled at. I'm 14.
Joey


Someone else says: The pics are on the way. We filled the Hot Tub with cheese and beer, I hope that's okay.
... and i'll buy your crappy dvd. It will make a good coaster.


Hey, anyone have a Polaroid camera? Which way to the hot tub? Can't wait to show you all my disfigurations!
Spoonotion Quine

Tee hee. Ohhh... there's nothing else. Except this non-sensationalist thing if anyone cares:

David G writes:

Hey Art, was that a Gibson you were playing at B.O.R.E.D.? What year/model is it? Sure is a nice looking and sounding axe. You play (seemingly) effortlessly. Did you ever take lessons at any time, or did you learn everything yourself by ear and jamming with friends?
(Sorry, the Twenty Questions are almost over ... bear with me.)
Do you read sheet music, or tab/chord charts, or do you just do everything in your head? Are there any tabs, chord charts or sheet music for any of your music (demented or not) out there in the big, bad world?
Inquiring minds want to know.

Voobaha Dave,
Yes. I played a new Gibson custom shop historic edition J160E and a fairly new Gretsch 6120 though a Vox amp that ran through a direct box into the PA as well as fed out from the stage.
I did indeed take guitar lessons from the age of 10 through 13, then I picked the rest up by being in bands and jamming with other musicians. I studied music for a year or so in college as well. I can read tab and chord charts and can "pick out" some notes sight reading, but I'm honestly a bad sight reader. Still, I do know my way around the guitar. Thank you so much for the kind words and for listening. Very glad to hear you dug the tones.
No sheet music out there, sorry...

...So, Dave asked me in an earlier post if I ever took guitar lessons. What I neglected to mention in my response was... and this is weird... That I took guitar lessons from Sandy Arthur Chadborne. When I was 12. And today... he's DR. DEMENTO'S MANAGER! He was at the gig. Isn't that weird? I think it is.

yeah,
art


` Small world!

` Well, that was stupid and pointless, especially when you realize that I'm displaying everyone's mail here. Oh well... as I am forbidden to cut my hair anymore, I have an appointment with *Dan* to get my hair cut tomorrow, so I should get to bed.

` A completely fictional character I have made up sometime in the past, named Waldo the Wise, says to me now: "And may Butter Cookies tread on you lightly."