So much to cover, so little time! Where did I leave off? (Looks at previous post.)
Alrighty then! So, my fiance Lucas and our roommate Johnny had just gotten rid of psycho couple Brad and Char this past December, and more recently had aided Steve "Beer" Goziña on his way out to find another enabler.
` It was January 5th, 2010, and I was about to go to the gym, then meet my crazy friends at the library! So how did that go?
I thought a friend from school (let's call him KittyDuck) might be there, but he wasn't. I didn't bring my camera, but Ananda took a picture with her phone of something inspirational she did to my hair -- you know, the crazy mad scientist look!
As usual, I have a sinus infection, but not to worry; I'M FABULOUS!
Though, the money department has been tough... you see, since we've gotten rid of the crazy roommates, who were really only squatting the last month, my life's been so much easier -- there's considerably less to gripe about!
` Even so, they did kind of... leave us with a huge electric bill that will cost Lucas, Johnny and I $160 apiece! How did they manage to do that?
` Simple; every day, Char would do two small loads of laundry, and if she should see any of us while doing so, she'd put on her biggest scowl! Eek! Also, I could hear her heater running all day, and I crossed my fingers she wouldn't put another pillow over it and catch the house on fire for real this time!
` Oh yeah, did I mention that Char deliberately broke the garbage disposal before she left, and admitted it to Johnny?
*Sigh!* I remember how Brad used to say I was worthless because I would sit in my room all day. Well, yeah, I was trying to take care of my homework and other projects while keeping out of his way, and anyone else's! But what did Char ever do? Sit around in her room all day -- even before she was ordered to! And what was she doing? Nothing, as far as I can tell!
` And she was so crazy that even Brad couldn't stand to be around her -- he would go to work all day just to get away from her! Come to think of it, before he had met her his hair was fairly brown, and when they got out of here, his hair was lookin' gray!
And, if that ain't absurd, Lucas and Johnny knocks on one of Johnny's twice-removed relatives' house and she comes to the door cracked out, reaches out and starts frantically patting down Lucas! Now, we used to be neighbors in the ghetto, and she has known Lucas for years! She's paranoid that someone's out to get her, and maybe there is, but this is ridiculous!
` Next day, she calls up Johnny, frantic, says there's a poltergeist! Johnny gives him basic Catholic instructions on what can be done about such things (pray to a Saint, get a priest), hangs up the phone and says to me, "Wow, she is really cracked out!"
Also, Johnny has had this one rotting tooth that's been giving him grief for some time. His mom had said she would pay for it to be fixed, but then she died, so Johnny had to go to the dentist and they said it was so massively infected that he would be dead within a week, so they pulled it right away, and finally the sinus infection he's been dealing with for years is finally draining off!
` So hooray! Not only is he not dead, but he's not sick anymore, either! And all the pressure pushing one of his teeth has also come off!
January 12, 2010:
I'm scribbling this down at the library and Ananda is telling me that she has joined an improv group called Improv Everywhere, who does stuff like go out in public and re-enact battle scenes from Braveheart using balloons for weapons!
` This time, it was No Pants Day, so she and the entire group got on the light rail to Seattle and TOOK THEIR PANTS OFF! (They were still wearing underwear.) Photos and video were taken. Whenever someone would make a comment, she would say something like, "Oh, I forgot my pants!"
` Seriously! It was on Sunday, she was with Rhea, her girlfriend!
Now, off to Denny's!
Overheard at our table: "You don't need a doctor when you have Google!" and "Don't be such a size queen!" about food... or something like that.
` Angela's biscuits and gravy said; "Eat me, Ananda! I'm going cold... it's so cold... put me somewhere warm!"
January 13, 2010:
Hung out with KittyDuck for a while after school... at the DMV! Such a rockin' time! He is so much like me it's scary! We even talked about things that we risked getting stared at for -- in public! Woot!
January 14, 2010:
At Zippy's David is telling folks to run south on I-5 Northbound. Stephen said; "If I call you from Mexico and I'm still alive, would you be pissed off?"
` "I would be very pissed off!"
` Too bad KittyDuck could not make it to Zippy's. David read his weird and violent poetry, and Ananda read her bizzarely imageful poem.
` Not to mention, Robinson Bolkum (TM) also read out of his huge book. Last time it was the poems about the Blonde and the Redhead, and this time about the Brunette and one called Not Understood.
` Drove Jen and Michael to Hunan Palace while David and Stephen went on foot -- Stephen actually got there just before I pulled up! David was soon to arrive.
` Also, Jen got offended by the weirdest thing, and... I'm onna write about that in a special place reserved for such things. But she actually stormed out of the restaurant! Wow!
January 16, 2010:
Hey, we got a new roommate! His name is Dale! He just flew in from Hawaii! He's retired from Boeing! He took his daughter Sarah around for a look-see at our house! Underlying reason for all the exclamation points: He's utterly un-suspicious!
Right now, Lucas, Johnny and I are all discussing the apparent fact that our previous roommate Brad must have started shooting meth just before he went nuts! That explains a lot! For example:
` On January 4, While Lucas and I were watching this amazing special on PBS about psychology that Darryl Dieter, educational researcher guy, told me about... long story... basically, Brad called Lucas' phone at about 10:45 and Lucas didn't answer. Later on, he found out that Brad had gotten into a car accident.
` Johnny says this wasn't surprising since last December he and Char had been terrified when Brad drove them around because he'd go over the curb, swear, freak out when he was boxed in. Lucas was shocked to hear this because when he had been Brad's passenger before that time, Brad was always the most polite driver, always saying, "You like that maneuver there?"
` Probably, Brad had shot some meth, then pretended to have a place to move into (or something), rented a U-Haul, then went ballistic and called the cops on us.
` When we had been talking to the cops that evening, Brad stormed up the stairs so loudly I thought he was coming after us, then the guy cop said, "We're supposed to be talking by ourselves now," and Brad put on his overly cordial smile and said, "Oh, sorry," good-naturedly and went back downstairs.
` We all stared.
` Then, Lucas and I had been whispering about Brad's behavior, then the cop started whispering with us and then asked, "Why are we whispering?" Oh, they knew, I'm sure -- it's pretty obvious.
` Then, after that night, Brad continued to get smaller and skinnier and instead of bragging about his belly, he displayed his very visible abdominal muscles.
Holy Snap! Troy saw some old dude get shot at the convenient store he works at! Oh yeah!! He's the next guy to move in here -- he just paid his deposit yesterday!
January 19, 2010:
Back to school again after MLK Jr Day. My sinus infection is not getting better, but it's not getting worse.
January 22, 2010:
I brought this sheet of paper to Zippy's and Denny's last night, but did not record any part of our weird conversations. I do remember them talking about getting one's consciousness into someone else's body, and Stephen, being Stephen, said it was apparently possible if you were drunk. Or something.
` Which led to jokes. At one point Stephen was joking, "Did I have sex with a cow last night?" And, what the heck? I joined in and said; "Wait! Why am I a bull?" Hilarious, but weird to be talking about such things after being earnest about them a mere ten years ago! Has it been that long!?
` Anyway, that was about when Jen was taking her Facebook picture at Denny's. Waiting for me in the car after Denny's was a Zipster (lime-orange coffee from Zippy's), which I took home and stuck in the fridge, and then had it before school this morning!
` It sustained me through English and math, and even a bit of brainstorming for our English project.
Back on the topic of roommates; Johnny has been getting belligerent lately. After agreeing, in front of me even, to pay the huge utility bills racked up by Char last month, he claims he hadn't agreed to anything, and started going off on the whole "I didn't sign up for paying other people's bills when I moved in with you guys!" track.
` Well, neither did we! But it's not like we can just refuse to pay! Why should we have to be the only ones to pay? Why can't he help?
` Even I joined in the shouting match, as it was interfering with my homework, saying that we're all living in the same situation, and adding that he's been eating our food but hasn't contributed any food to us -- he says, "I've been eating food bank food!" but that isn't totally true, as he just finished off my ice cream and drank the beer Lucas had bought for himself, among other things!
In fact, just today, Lucas was taking a break from his errands, and since he had only drank half his pint of gin, and he rarely buys liquor, he decided to make himself a gin and tonic. He got out some ice, the lime, pulled the gin bottle out of the freezer and immediately noticed it was empty!
` Well, it's not like he could blame anyone else for this! Goziña is long gone, and Dale, the new roommate, is not only not under suspicion, but he's actually not even here all day! This place is like hotel room for him, only it barely costs anything compared to any hotel!
` Evidently what happened was Johnny just put the bottle back, hoping that Lucas would not see until later. What a boozer!
January 25, 2010:
Lucas just got a gig at Larry and Cowboy Steve's, went to Haley's and was so adamant about rocking all night that she told him, "You don't need to demonstrate -- you're in!" Then, Lucas ran into Haley's friend Denny, who's a veteran rock star (looks like a less skinny version of Mick Jagger), and wants to help Lucas find the right gaudy costume!
` See, Lucas is sick of these stupid bands getting up on stage, dressed in their own crappy T-shirts and stuff, doing six or seven songs, and then saying, "We're a rock band!" Well, that just doesn't cut it with him. What he wants to do in some absurd outfit, like rock bands always used to, and rock out all night!
` Denny said that Lucas' idea of huge phallic symbols on the elbows and knees (which I drew and we were going to have Karen sew!) might not be the best, though he did rather like Lucas' idea of crazy neon-colored spiked hair. Nowadays, he said, psychedelic is the look to go for!
` They were going to go shop for Lucas' costume just this second, but I have gym to go to and Lucas has taken my car, so it'll be tomorrow (Lucas' payday) at six.
This news is so good, it totally makes Johnny's bad behavior today not seem so significant! And what was that? You might be amused. Earlier, Lucas was telling me, "That's it! If I ever find Brad or any of those people back at my house ever again, I will beat them into a pulp and then call 9-1-1!"
` There was a knock at the door, and a voice; "This is the Federal Police! Open up!"
` It wasn't really, but it really got Lucas on-edge.
` It was Prince, a teasingly-nicknamed trashy-looking guy who is Johnny's new band-mate in Hillary's Bush. Lucas wouldn't let him in, and sent the little ghetto-rat scurrying.
` Lucas laid down the law; "No more trash, Johnny! It was a huge mistake for me to even trust anyone like that, and I'm regretting it! If you bring him over here again, I'll beat the crap out of him!"
` Johnny was like; "Why would you beat up my friend?"
` Lucas countered; "He's not your friend, is he?"
` "No...." Johnny said.
` I'm not sure exactly how it went down, but Lucas was drawing on the fact that Johnny had drank Lucas' beer right in front of him, saying, "Just try and stop me from drinking your beer! Go ahead!" Well, Lucas was like; "Just try and stop me from beating him up! Go ahead!"
Really! And then later, when Lucas booked a gig at Larry and Cowboy Steve's, Cowboy Steve told him the same thing -- "There's really no way you can trust low-lifes, and if you can't reason with them or keep them away from you, you just have to be a jerk to them. It was really hard for me at first, but I realized that was what I had to do to protect myself."
I know that because Lucas is back now. He also says that on his way home, Denny told him to drive safe (y'know because Lucas had a beer, and bought Denny two beers at the bar), and lo and behold, Lucas was driving up Mukilteo Boulevard and some SUV comes flying around the corner at 50 mph, way too fast to take the curve, and goes into Lucas' lane!
` Luckily my car has great tires, steering and brakes, and there was a shoulder for him to pull into!
` Lucas was out of the way in one second, and the SUV didn't even slow down, nor did the driver right behind Lucas, who nearly plowed into him while Lucas was trying to get back onto the road!
Talk about a lack of consideration! "Oh, I didn't run you over? Okay, bye!" and "Oh, that person didn't run you over? See ya!"
` What is it with people who have no patience on the road? I hope I never get that way!
Anyway, it's about time I get some shut-eye. I have class tomorrow.
Monday, January 25, 2010
So much to cover, so little time! Where did I leave off? (Looks at previous post.)