My boring homework assignment!

When I got home from school today this afternoon, prepared to do a huge load of homework by tomorrow, I immediately had to get back in my car and act as house driver and didn't get back until about 6:30.
` Well, then I really had a fire at my ass to get my homework done, except for at that time, B Gangsta went in to work on beats, so I kicked him out. Immediately thereafter, Matty unexpectedly dropped by with his son, but I luckily escaped from having to watch him, because why? I am determined to do my damn homework!
`I just got my first item done, and I thought I might as well show yous peoples. Okay, so alls I had to do, really, was take this here article and make it smaller.

Here's the original article as it was written in my textbook:

` TAMPA, Fla. (AP) -- The largest earthquake to strike the eastern Gulf of Mexico in the last 30 years sent shock waves from Louisiana to southwest Florida Sunday, but did little more than rattle residents.
` The magnitude 6.0 earthquake, centered about 260 miles southwest of Tampa, was too small to trigger a tsunami or dangerous waves, the United States Geological Survey said.
` The U.S.G.S. received more than 2,800 report from people who felt the 10:56 a.m. quake. Scientists said it was the largest and most widely felt of more than a dozen earthquakes recorded in the region in three decades.
` "This is a fairly unique event," said Don Blakeman, an analyst with the National Earthquake Information Center who said the quake was unusually strong. "I wouldn't expect any substantial damage, but it is possible there will be some minor damage."
` The most prevalent vibration, which lasted for about 20 seconds, was felt on the gulf coast of Florida and in southern Georgia, Blakeman said. But residents in Alabama, Mississippi and Louisiana also called in reports.
` "It rattled our trailer pretty good," said Dan Hawks, who lives near Ocala in the small central Florida community of Pedro. "The house started shaking. We could actually see it moving. We looked at each stupidly [sic!] and said, 'What's the deal?'"
` Florida counties along the Gulf of Mexico called the state emergency operations center with reports of tremors but no damage was reported, spokesman Mike Stone said. Gov. Jeb Bush was informed of the situation, Stone said.
` The earthquake likely did not have any effect on oil operations in the Gulf of Mexico, according to Ray Connolly, a spokesman for the American Petroleum Institute, the trade association for the U.S. oil and natural gas industry. Earthquakes are factored into the design of the industry's equipment both onshore and offshore, Connolly said.
` The epicenter is an unusual location for earthquake activity, but scientists recorded a magnitude 5.2 tremblor in the same location on Feb. 10.
` "This kind of occurrence is unusual in that spot especially for an earthquake of this size," Blakeman said of Sunday's quake.
` The tremblor was unusual because it was not centered on a known fault line. The "Midplate" earthquake, deep under the gulf, was probably the result of stresses generated by the interaction of tectonic plates in the earth's crust, the agency said.
` Only one of Florida's rare earthquakes caused significant damage. In January 1879, St. Augustine residents reported heavy shaking that knocked plaster off the walls.
` A more recent tremblor, in November 1952, prompted a resident of Quincy to report the shaking "interfered with the writing of a parking ticket," the U.S.G.S. said.

So, then I had to shrink it down to fit in a tighter space - here's what I did to it:

` TAMPA, Fla. (AP) -- The largest earthquake to strike the eastern Gulf of Mexico in the last 30 years sent shock waves from Louisiana to southwest Florida Sunday, but did little more than rattle residents.
` According to the U.S. Geological Survey, at 10:56 a.m. a magnitude 6.0 earthquake originated about 260 miles southwest of Tampa and was reported by over 28,000 residents as far as Georgia, Alabama, Mississippi and Louisiana.
` Don Blakeman, an analyst with the National Earthquake Information Center, said the quake was unusually strong, but that he "wouldn't expect any substantial damage...."
` The tremblor was unusual because it was not centered on a known fault line. The "Midplate" earthquake, deep under the Gulf of Mexico, was probably the result of stresses generated by the interaction of tectonic plates in the earth's crust, the agency said.
` Though the Florida counties along the Gulf of Mexico called the state emergency operations center with reports of tremors, spokesman Mike Stone said that no damage was reported.
` In addition, the earthquake likely did not have any effect on oil operations in the Gulf of Mexico, according to Ray Connolly, a spokesman for the American Petroleum Institute, as earthquakes are factored into the design of the industry's equipment both onshore and offshore.

But wait, there's more! After that, I had to shrink it down even more! Check it out:

` TAMPA, Fla. (AP) -- The largest earthquake to strike the eastern Gulf of Mexico in the last 30 years sent shock waves from Louisiana to southwest Florida Sunday, but did little more than rattle residents.
` According to the U.S. Geological Survey, at 10:56 a.m. a magnitude 6.0 earthquake originated about 260 miles southwest of Tampa and was reported by over 28,000 residents as far as Georgia, Alabama, Mississippi and Louisiana.
` Though the Florida counties along the Gulf of Mexico called the state emergency operations center with reports of tremors, spokesman Mike Stone said that no damage was reported.
` This tremblor was unusual, according to the U.S.G.S both because of its magnitude and because it was not centered on a known fault line. The "Midplate" earthquake, deep under the gulf, was probably the result of stresses generated by the interaction of tectonic plates in the earth's crust.
` In addition, the earthquake likely did not have any effect on oil operations in the Gulf of Mexico, according to Ray Connolly, a spokesman for the American Petroleum Institute.

Wow, that was incredibly short - much moreso than the original article! Anyway, I have to work on another project now... that'll be going on my Corrigendopedia! Whoo!