Monday, October 16, 2006

Wonderful craziness and trying to get outta this dump...

` Saturday night at the Field of Screams, it rained a tiny bit, which is great because a); I didn't get very wet considering I was there for four hours, and b); until recently the grass has been looking like this:

` The funniest thing that happened was the time a man with a small child on his shoulder took note of my goggles. He said to the kid; "Oh look, it's a shop teacher!" That was so cute! And I said; "Yes indeed, I am a shop teacher.... I make things out of people!"
` Also, this one girl who didn't look that much younger than me, said that she was so nervous she wanted me to walk her through the rest of the maze. I was like; "I think you'll be able to survive. If you're lucky."
` And then I was moved to a place just past Joe the Scarecrow. Lucky me, I could always tell when people were coming because I could hear them screaming; "Holy shit, it's real!" Occasionally, people would sustain minor injuries, like when I heard this one girl say; "I think I have a black eye, now," I jumped out, screeching; "Need a doctor?"
` On top of that great shizznet, there was a very non-alive scarecrow just after my hiding spot, so when the people came around the corner, they automatically began looking at it, trying to assess whether or not it was real. So they'd slow down right in front of me! Such a perfect target! Though if there were a lot of people, I'd wait for the last person before jumping out. Once, a guy said; "Nice!" when I did that to him.
` I was actually surprised at some of the compliments I got, considering that some of the time, after I'd chased a bunch of people across the 'quicksand' mattress, I wouldn't be able to make it back into any hiding spot in time and people would see me.
` That sometimes completely snapped me out of character, although one time I was jogging towards some people who saw me and they freaked out, and I was surprised when I saw them cowering against the corn! I actually herded them backwards a few feet, screaming about watching out for 'Jimmy' and they clustered together as I went made my way past them and ran off.
` Probably my most pathetic display was simply trying to dodge two girls I didn't see before and plowing sideways into the corn, making a big hole! I don't think I even screamed anything like 'Run for your lives!' There was also this one kid who said; "Can I give Jimmy his medication for you?" I couldn't quite spit out the words; "I don't think that's wise...." but I couldn't say anything or even cackle maniacally, and he laughed at me!! No!
` I did a couple bad things like that, but really, I mostly scared people. Eight of them fell down this time! Bruce (the Chainsaw Guy), in fact, made 54 people fall!
` However, I discovered a few new things to say. For example, when people ask me if I'm a guy, I can say; "I was... before the incident." (And I could have said something to that effect when a much younger girl asked if she could make out with me, and her brother said; "That's a girl!")
` And, if someone asks to hug me, I can hug them and say; "Now you have the disease! And no cure! Ha ha ha ha haaaaa!"
` Also, when I'm chasing a bunch of people I learned to say things like; "Hey! I bet you're full of organs! Can I play with your insides?" (Thanks to that one kid who now has a white contact.) One Korean teenager actually offered to donate his balls, but I told him that wouldn't be very pleasant.

` So yeah, I'm doing well enough, and my face looks as if it is covered in papercuts due to the slashiness of the corn leaves. (Which also shed bits into my eyes! Ouchie!)
` I think I also may have injuries from the creatures who pulled me into their van afterwards, telling me that they had candy. But they lied! All they had were sexually-oriented jokes, Pina Colada juice, and this:

` "Yah! Gayness be upon you for your chair's indiscresions! You and your seventy-three chair virgins shall suffer!"
` I should also probably mention that I had the opportunity to spend hours being restrained between TallGuy's legs. If only X-Dan was spying on us and saw that, it would be so funny, considering his previous cute reactions.... Ha ha haaaa!

` Or not.

` What was I rambling on about? Oh yeah.... besides my ability to temporarily make money, there have been other attempts to garner income. Lou has this idea where he can purchase a boat and rent it out to college students for more than the payments are worth, and then sell it for yet more money. However, the double-hull sailboat at Dagmars we liked had been sold.
` Then, one of Lou's co-workers told him about their boss' boat, saying that it was a really nice, big boat that was practically a small yacht.
` So, we headed down this evening to check it out....

` It was at the marina, which makes a nice place to catch a sunset picture:

` Being a marina, it was full of boats, large and small, and when we got to the boss man's boat, Lou was thoroughly unimpressed: It was only medium-sized, didn't have a bathroom, and was otherwise mediocre. Bla-se!
` But it wasn't a total waste of time; at least the sunset was nice.

` Our money-saving plans are mostly due to the fact that we want to move out of here. That's because when you live here, your least worry is not the fact that opening the door for more than ten seconds will let the smell in. (A different odor for every day of the week! Rotten oranges Monday, Catbox Tuesday....)
` As if I haven't mentioned it before, this place is full of meth-heads! Just the other day, all of B-Dizzle's good jeans - which he'd left in his car after going to the laundromat - were stolen!
` God damn crackheads! At least everyone who lives up here on the second floor is cool, and so apparently is the black guy (= the only one) who lives downstairs. However, the rest of the people are kind of unnerving to have living below your apartment.
` Hey, wow! I just now heard some chasing sounds and a woman saying; "Ar! Get the fuck out of my house!" And now, a distant screaming sound. What on earth.... It's too bad, really, considering that this complex was once a very nice mansion!

` Oddly, there is even a teenager who lives downstairs and, I happen to know, is a child molestor - which is a bit strange, considering that he is a minor himself! A lot of the others are crank dealers, etc, and who knows what else! In fact, tonight they apparently decided to invite a bunch of people over to buy and shoot dope, so Lou's truck was the third resident vehicle that had to be parked in the business parking lot next door. (And my car was the fifth, later on!)
` We are also not without our parking woes: In September, I came home to a city worker who had parked his truck in the driveway and asked me if that was my spot. I said; "No, we don't have assigned spots here." Just after that, B-Dizzle came home and told me that 'yes they do!'
` Irony of ironies, I look down at the number on the pavement, and the guy's truck wasparked in my spot! So then we had to tell Lou about it, right as he came home right after I moved my car. His sentiments were that it was stupid, so who cares? I have to agree, because different apartments have different numbers of cars! For example, Lou and I have three cars between us - though he's selling the Luv - and so we are expected to share one parking space. If you do the math, you'll find that this won't work.
` In fact, here's a CDP of the Luv parked up against the building and my Burgundy Rectangle in front of that. There is no room for Lou to park his work truck behind me in the alley! (Also, the blue Buick is B-Dizzle's, and the smashed up white car is his brother's, which is really inconvenient because they were always having to move their car when the other needed to go somewhere - or just not drive anywhere!)

` Meanwhile... there are other people who don't have cars. So, there are empty parking spaces in the driveway, and yet people without enough room still had to park next door (where we could get towed)!
` You can probably guess that, in a few weeks, everyone just said; "Screw it!" and we now completely disregard the rule.
` Unfortunately, a lot of times people are parked so close together that they can't get out! The fact that my passenger-side mirror is gone may have something to do with that.... Either that, or it was stolen.
` Which reminds me, I've long suspected that someone may have stolen things I had put in storage. Here's my reasoning:

` a) My crap, including the X-Box with Dr. Muto and Halo was being stored in the basement.
` b) B-Dizzle just got an X-Box with Dr. Muto and Halo from one of the meth-head's friends for $20. (He says if it's mine, he'll give me another $20.)
` c) A month ago, someone broke into the basement, presumably to steal things, smashing one window clean out.

` Coincidence? Well, perhaps not because B-Dizzle says that everything was in completely new condition and still sealed in plastic wrap. I won't be able to know for sure unless I somehow find a way to get down there. Like... if I ever see the ever-elusive manager... who really needs to watch who he lets move in here!
` Well, I must really get going. Bed and things, you know. But first, I shall try to find some more tidings that are good.... Hmmmm. Well, I've saved more than $200 with my QFC card this year, which is a lot because I don't shop there much. Then again, perhaps it's not, because most of their crap is way overpriced, so sale items look like more of a bargain.
` Oh well. I bid you good night even as some kind of fight is breaking out somewhere that sounds like it is across the street....


crabcake said...

Are those yer toes? LOL! I have a crooked one too but I can't compete with that. ahhhhhhhhhh ha ha ha. I'm not even taking a pic till I know if those are really yours or not. If they aren't way in hell am I showin mine.

Winters said...

Well done for resisting the Korean kid's kind offer, Miss Quine.

It sounds like a deeply strange job, and I hope you will emerge relatively unscathed, be the damage at the hands of corn leaves, or other vile predators.

S E E Quine said...

` Oh yes, those are my toes all right.... I bent the second-to-last toe myself to protect my displaced pinky toe from constantly getting injured - it was already on its way because of the problems I was having.
` Since then, neither toe has snagged on anything and both have had time to heal enough to stop hurting (after about five years of limping around).

` Thank you Winters, I hope I live too! And indeed, going after cute teenagers is something that should be reserved for after work....

wed-nes-day said...

Hey, girlfriend,

You made my day with the boat pictures.....

Tank yew!


Galtron said...

Yeah, nice boat pics!

Too bad about the parking situation-- at least nobody uses it anymore.
And how come you can't check to see if your X-Box is still down there if it's a storage room? Isn't there a key?

...Chair virgins?

cassie d said...

sounds like you need to get out fast!

the longer you live with meth heads, the more often they'll try to sell you back your stuff!

S E E Quine said...

` It's horrible!!! ...At least they haven't broken into our apartment.

` Luckily, the manager told me today - after the electricity went out, though it surprisingly wasn't due to them - that he was kicking them out.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.