Thursday, May 04, 2006

Yes... I like to write about my life.

(Written last night.)
` Naturally, this is because I actually have one nowadays. Furthermore, I don’t spend as much time writing science blog posts because I’m just so busy with living. Also, many potential science posts are in ‘draft’ mode on the internet, so I don’t have access to them except for one hour a day – although I could just make them into Word documents and take them here to my closet, but I’m too lazy to do that because I read so many science books and magazines and things while I’m here!
` I really do miss having the internet. I can no longer peruse web pages – I barely have enough time to get my e-mail and to post anything! Grah! It is only after then that I actually look at what else is on the web. Perhaps I shall have to work a way to take these things home efficiently.

` On the upside, lots of crazy things have been happening. For a random example, my cell phone rang one day while I was at Lou Ryan’s house and I saw that the number was 680-010. I exclaimed; “That’s not a real phone number!”
` So this Indian telemarketer guy is on the other line from my phone company, he said his name was Jason. A likely story. So, Lou and Dryan trashed him. When he called back, Dryan beat on his tom and screamed, “Fire!!” which evidently scared poor ‘Jason’ away.
` Yeah.
` And speaking of phone calls, I phoned a good friend that I hadn’t talked to in a while (due to him/her being a bit too busy), and he/she told me that he/she was in a car on his/her way to Chicago! I completely did not expect that at all... and it's awesome! He/she is going to study people’s minds at a Crazy Doctor convention, far away from all the horrible bad things that he/she has been unable to escape for... ever.

` Well, longer than I've been alive.
` All right!!
` ‘Cause calling people on the phone is like a box of chocolates.... and I’m going to stop right there.

` Though, perhaps you’d like me to write something interesting? Well, I was at Denny’s earlier. That’s always interesting.
` And no, Denny, I was not at your house without your knowledge. I was at the place that never shuts down, where the size of your wallet matters, and actors and actresses slave all day! Or is that Hollywood? (Sorry, couldn't resist a Pinky and the Brain reference.) However, I did record the event on a menu if you’d like to read about it.
` Let’s see....
` A slick-haired ‘postvert’ I call Angel of Lust was there with his fiancĂ©, wearing Cleopatra-style makeup around his eyes with pretty dots on his forehead, and his hair had been slicked down to the sides of his face. I didn’t sit at the booth with him and the other Magic card players (Dead Fetus Guy, Adorable Gay Hottie, Jesus etc.), as there was no room.
` I went over to the big table and sat with Monkey Kitty Guy – I mean, Monkey Kitty Dude! – and a bunch of crazy girls. They were all talking about bewildering things and passed around a Peace Pie for all to share (though I didn’t want any, as I’d just had some melted ice cream from my ‘either frozen-or thawed’ minifridge).
` The girl who had purchased said Peace Pie had apparently been the prom king, and her mother was also there, being surprisingly just as insane as everyone else. And this is the really crazy part about the woman: She’s legally dead!

` That's right!! She pissed off the Gambinos or some such (yes, the ones known from The Godfather?) and her records were tampered with so that it appeared she had died in a hospital somewhere. She couldn’t enroll in college and still can’t get a passport to leave the country, being dead and all. A sign that we rely on the system a bit too much?
` Gee, I hope Social Security eventually recognizes her!
` Meanwhile, Monkey Kitty Dude, who currently has relatively short blue hair, was whistling through his pierced nose, which had been half-collapsed during an excursion into a mosh pit. Yeah!!
` At some point, Tiny Lesbian showed up. I started talking to her and was joking around. For some reason, I said; “You suck,” and she corrected me; “Actually, I lick.”
` Good to stand corrected on these terms.
` Speaking of Gayness, Rainbows was showing me her Gay Balls. They match her hair! At one point, she got into a pecking seagull fight with Rainbow Eyes, using the appetizer menus. Don’t ask.
` After Angel of Lust had left, Dead Fetus Guy appeared with Nympho. I said to him; “I love you.”
` He responded with; “I love me, too.”
` Well, of course! Everybody loves dead fetuses! Although, dead puppies aren’t much fun. They don’t come when you call, they don’t chase squirrels at all....

` Soon after, everyone at my table cleared out from around me and so the booth-goers claimed it for their Magic game.
` Adorable Gay Hottie – now with very short hair! – was looking quite Matrixy in his cool oval Armani sunglasses. Darn it, which artificial sweetner packet is the one you eat to escape? The red one or the blue one?
` Oh well.
` Inevitably, as I was sitting across from Nympho, I began trying to steal her with my legs. But she pulled a fast one on me: When Aunt Girl had tried to get past me, Nympho was busy stealing my leg across her path!
` Then, Rainbow Eyes began mixing some sort of horrible substance from sugar packets and creamers and other things that can be found on the table. (No! Not my Matrix-escaping instruments!) Some other strange patter and Magic game type things were going on, and when I left I recalled that Dead Fetus Guy was proclaiming himself to be rape on a stick.
` Oh yes, that was because he was looking at some kind of pamphlet that lists 75 ways to say ‘no’ to sex. Some of them were actually funny due to their awfulness and uselessness, though I unfortunately don’t remember them. That's okay, though; you all deserve a break from my mindless prattling.

` I am indeed writing on a noticably different brain state than usual. It'c clear to me that I am somehow more... mindless! That's because I’ve got to get some sleep.
` You can tell I’m sleep deprived, can’t you?
` One last thing: If you care to pay me any kindnesses, please, could someone tell me just how boring or exciting posts about my life generally are? Including this one?
` Okay, I’m asleep. ZZ Z ZZ Z Z Z Z Z ZZZ Zzz z z zzzzzz....


Galtron said...

Ummm...... I think your personal life posts are... usually not horrible or anything. I like how you make them all weirdly worded, also.

Note to self: Remember to stay away from Denny's late at night!

S E E Quine said...

` Oh, you're just placating me. You fear us Denny's people. Don't try to hide it! I'm onto you!

Denny said...

its ok spoony just lock up when you leave

S E E Quine said...

` Tee hee!

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