Thursday, October 20, 2005

A Barnes without a Barnes?

` Oh yes, these guys again...

` Here's some more Voobaha stuff, in case anyone is even close to being interested. You see... it would appear that these two goofy-looking Lumanians (yes, this is quite an old picture), may actually not be continuing with their goofy-sounding band.
` Or... it is just a silly drama? To manipulate us Barnes and Barnes enthusiasts? I'm sure it is... but ignoring that...
` So, is it the end?
` Are the Barneses losing cohesion? Well, currently, Artie seems to be pretty enthusiastic about things. Even questions!

` I just listened to Ah-A for the first time (yes, I do live under a rock) and I realized something... that flute sound is from a Korg, is it not Art/Artie?
` I know because I have a Korg M1+1. [It's Phil's, okay?]
` I've always wondered - how competent are either of you at playing a keyboard?

Spoony Quine

` Perhaps I should have rephrased that... oh well. What I didn't expect here was when, only about two minutes later, I noticed this:

I think that sound is made by our Oberheim ob-8. We are both keyboard wizards....


` GASP! Omniscient-looking instantaneous e-mail response! You're apparently also an e-mail-answering wizard! I feel warm and fuzzy now. You're just good. Of course you are - you're frickin' Artie Barnes!!

` Well, I guess that doesn't show much as far as enthusiasm, but it's all I have right now, and I like my posts to go in kind of a little story-fashion. Telling a story, I shall have to ask you to play along...
` As for Mr. Mumy, he went and did something musical all by hisself not too long ago...

Art Barnes writes:

By the way, I hear that Billy Mummy is playing a solo set of music at Genghis Cohen, on Fairfax and Melrose tomorrow night at 9:15. That Billy Mummy's pretty good. He wrote that song, "Talking". I liked that song. He's not so bad. Maybe we should all go to Genghis Cohen. Or not. Who cares? Hard business...

` See? He's enthusiastic, music-wise, even when he knows lots of people get his name wrong! One of his loyal fans wrote:

I'd like to go see that. Can someone charter that famous multi-colored bus?

` But then, when people were wondering about when Barnes and Barnes would make some new songs...

I WANNA make some new music! but Art seems too busy lately. Art,come on, boy! I wanna record "My Bad". A new song i started....


Nah. I've lost the pep. I used to have the pep, but it's gone now. It's just too hard a business. I'm thinkin' about quitting the music business. It's too depressing. I gotta go... I'll seeya.
` You know, I don't really think Artie's trying to kill me, but I think that he knows or at least he might know, who IS... then again, maybe I'll get back into show business.
` I'm probably the greatest talent on the face of this earth. I'm probably so good I'm too good. This world's not ready for me. That's the way I feel about it. But I could make a come back. You never know. Then again, it's just too hard a business. Would you agree with that?
` Do you blame me for quitting? Yeah. It's a hard business! Think I'll go to Disneyland... Hello? Hello? I gotta go. Give me a ride down the hill... toomp


` WAAAAAH! But [we] love you, Mr. Lennier-Man! Don't DIE ON US!!!! I love the hippie-red-long-hair Barnes. Without Art Barnes, Barnes and Barnes would be just... Barnes! Think of the children!

` (Wait, what children?)

` Snifflily yours,

S E E Quine

` However, one loyal fan made this astute observation:

Dear All

Something smells fishy here! (no pun intended). Not so many months ago Mr Mumy was saying I want to record again and Mr Haimer was saying NO.

But now, Mr Haimer says he wants to start recording again and Mr Mumy is saying NO!

This sounds like a conspiracy. I think they're taking it in turns to Yes and No to recording new material, just to tease us and keep us hanging around. Damn fiendish stuff. I can just see them talking to each other "whose turn is it to say they want to start recording
again? Tee Hee Hee!"


Get off your butts and save us from a world of shite sampled-segment "popular" music that clutters the charts and airways and has no merit to it whatsoever.

` But then... in a message titled;
` An ejaculation of new songs and ideas in my silly little pee pee head!

` No, really, it was...:

I WANT to record again! But Art doesn't love me anymore. Convince him to work with me again, and we can give new and glorious music to the demented world! I (we?) have lotsa ideas. I'm brimming over with new and unexpressed songs!! I need to ejaculate them on to you guys, our loyal following. I want to spray them all over your little heads!

RT Barnes----------

` Um... and I know how much I like to be... *ejaculated* upon... ah... well, how about we pluck his beautiful, long red hair out, strand by strand. I know how unpleasant this sensation is from personal experience; after about a half hour I started crying.
` Like a little girl.
` That should work quite efficiently. ^^

` But if we want to be 'ethically able' and all, we could just talk to him. Perhaps we could discuss it like human beings and encourage him to keep going.
` Believe me, I go through bouts of this all the time. That's why I turned to psychiatric medicine.

S E E Quine

` (FYI, I was going to keep writing, possibly even something about how he'll wind up as insane as Tom Cruise, but I didn't have time to continue, due to something that was going on at that moment.)

Okay. nope. I've lost the pep. I don't wanna record new trivial silly novelty songs. I wanted to make a great new artistic barnes and barnes album. a really bold, non compromised, non "commercial" one of a kind record.
` I bugged pizmo haimer for TEN YEARS to do it. I wrote dozens and dozens of lyrics for it. "Our Dead Dads", "Middle Aged Men", etc... TEN YEARS I carried that flag into battle to no avail. Anyway, he still doesn't want to do it.
` He wants to record "poopy daddy" and stuff like that now. At least he wants to make music now. I probably should just agree to it and consider it a warm up for the "real" deal, right? Okay. Maybe that's what I'll do. If I find the pep. Has anyone out there seen my pep? It seems to have gone to the cornfield...


Well. I think that the solution, obviously... some kind of two-disc anthology album!

I'm just sayin'.

` The Swill Man wrote:

You mean two-disc rarity album! THAT's what we all want!

` And a few minutes ago, I added:

` Actually, I looked and haven't found it in the cornfield. But I'm afraid one of these days I'm going to find Artie in there...

` Not a pretty sight.

S E E Quine

` Hey, wait a minute... what's this?

maybe you'll find me in the corn hole...... RT-

"Barnes & Barnes- The greatest secret in show business"!!!

` !!!! HOW DO YOU REPLY SO FAST LIKE THAT!!?!?!?!??!!? Do Lumanians have magical powers?

` Oh well. And... I don't think I wanna know about this cornhole business. I do, however, want to know something... ANYTHING about your demented ideas.

` Don't make me come over and dance scantily clad in flying squirrels on your lawn!!!!

` Dementedly yours,

S E E Quine

` P.S. I finally ordered one of your CDs today. ;)

` And... he did it again!... 'An ejaculation of grand designs' (that's what it was called!) popped into my inbox..

I reply quickly to emails because I have no life. I live to serve my large fan base. It is plain to see, no? Back to Jerry Springer show now. Later-

` So, just now, I wrote back, all melodramatically-like...

D'you really think Art is going to quit Barnes and Barnes? Or even showbusiness altogether? WHAT WILL BECOME OF YOU BOTH?! I can't bear to think!!!
` But if you could, you'd tell me, right?

` Aaaaannnddd... here we go!

Art loves my ass. He will never leave me. He needs me. He needs lots of hugs, too. He is nothing without me. I AM Barnes & Barnes and he knows it. Soon we will make new music. Scarier than before. For I AM RT BARNES------------------

` Ahhh. ^^ That makes me want to dance around your lawn wearing only flying squirrels stitched to my bare flesh! (In happiness, this time, instead of disgruntlement.)
` I'll just have to be careful that your music doesn't cause the
squirrels to become alarmed enough to tear themselves free.
` Or... on second thought, I could just ask to come in and watch
Jerry Springer or something with you. (Honestly, I didn't know they had him in Lumania!)

You may visit me in your underwear. Thank you......

` Ooh!! I'm a-gettin' awl vapory!!!

` Of course, as this is a public conversation...

Lemme just butt in here...any news on the DVD concert release? Or a rarities release? Huh? I WANT IT!!!

` Anyhow, I suppose Artie's ejaculations of grand designs can be left up to the imagination for now, no matter how much Art helps him out. (And when I phrase it like that, it sounds like something that would be better imagined. Or not imagined at all.)
` Will they go on? Or are they just being nitwits? Only time will tell! And I do hope I'm not getting any 'tabloid points' for all this.

` P.S.; Phil just came home and it blows his mind that I've ever communicated indirectly with the guy who played Lennier. Of course, It's been mostly Robby. He apparently has a lot more time for this kind of thing.

` By the way, I was the one who wrote that on that .jpg waayy back when the only art program I had was cruddy ol' MS Paint.
` Y'know, my handwriting sure looks weird when I'm using a mouse on carpeting...
` ...And you'd know that if EdgeWalker had taken a picture of that crazy comic I drew.
` Like he said he was going to.
` But no, apparently, something called a 'flash' is needed for decent pictures of my sketchbook!


Joey M. said...

Hmm..that picture is's off the back of the Zabagabee LP (not enough room on the CD release!) and I used it as the base for MY version of the Kodovoner cover when I saw the official one that sucked! (Shh! Don't tell the salamanders!). You can see it in the Voobaha file listings...

Ah, and you ordered a CD? WHICH ONE? MUAHAHAHA!!!

jon p said...

I have news for you both, listen to KSER 90.7 from noon to 2 for music with moscowitz. if you can get it on yer radio stream it on the web! at

this is right up your alley serisously! i am pretty sure this show was made for you to listen to it, im not even joking at all, really i am not 12 to 2 on saturday, every saturday

Aaron said...

I really like your artwork there Quine. That picture of the Minbari named Lennier is quite reminescent of work done by LocoMocos.

Here's another example

cassie d said...

yeah. i caught that MS Paint artwork ASAP!!!

it's beautiful!!!!

And i hope you are admiring it more than crticizing it, A-ron. Us 'painters' gotta stick together. i don't have any special photoshop stuff like you have - on your mac.

what show does he play on?

S E E Quine said...

` Ha, Joey... Which one? I think you already know!!

` Jontrello... you've been a deejay for too long.

` Heehee. I didn't know writing on pictures with Paint was art! But then again, calling weird little funny things 'art' is how Art and Artie Barnes got their names.

` Oh, by the way, I have Adobe Photoshop CS2 now. I'm onto bigger and better things.
` Perhaps later I shall put up more pictures... with fancy-schmancy writing on them!!