Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Screenplay of a Comic Strip

` I have one of Tom Tomorrow's This Modern World political cartoon strips here in front of me, just now sent by my friend EdgeWalker here sitting behind me. (Today his PC finally came through the mail!)
` Instead of posting the comic here [I couldn't do that when I had seo-blog] how about a screenplay-type deal? Never mind the fact that I don't know how to write screenplays. Let's see how it works, shall we?

Title screen:
LANGUAGE IS A VIRUS

An ongoing look at the myriad ways in which really, really stupid ideas infect the political mainstream.
This week: The war ON RATIONALITY

SCENE 1:
Two-shot of man and woman.

NARRATOR:
Step One: A conservative school board objects to the teaching of a commonly accepted scientific principle.


WOMAN:
"Human sexual reproduction" is an interesting THEORY--


MAN:
--But must our culture ALWAYS be so obsessed with SEX?


NARRATOR:
Step Two: An ancient MYTH is spruced up slightly and presented as a credibly scientific ALTERNATIVE...


MAN:
Proponents of "Intelligent Delivery" believe that babies are delievered in a STORK in a MESSENGER CAP!


WOMAN:
Don't our children deserve to hear BOTH SIDES of the CONTROVERSY?


Scene 2:
Head-shot of well-dressed man with very white teeth:

NARRATOR:
Step Three: Self-styled experts strive to instill doubt where none should plausibly exist.


WELL-DRESSED MAN:
What the secular reproductionists believe is ABSURD, boys and girls! It would be like squeezing a CANTELOUPE out of your nose!
Ha ha!

OFFSCREEN:
Ha ha!


Scene 3:
Shot of another man and a woman with a very out-of-date hairstyle.

NARRATOR:
Step Four: The scientific community is challenged to debate the issue. If they refuse, so much the better!


WOMAN:
They're AFRAID to FACE us!


MAN:
They KNOW they don't stand a chance against our relentless STORKIST LOGIC!


Scene 4:
Shot of a tearful girl and a boy looking confused.

NARRATOR:
Step Five: The line between education and ignorance grows ever more indistinct.


BOY:
I USED to think I understood where babies come from -- until I learned about the lies and distortions of the SECULAR REPRODUCTIONISTS!


GIRL:
WHY do they hate the stork so much?



ME:
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
!

You had to be there, I guess. Doesn't work, does it? Oh well...

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