Sunday, September 24, 2006

Still recovering from my tragic loss...

` Here's a challenge: Let's see how well I can remember mundane events using my 'blind memory' with virtually no photos to assist me.
` Yesterday morning, I woke up early and was still bummed about
my pictures being lost, despite the fact that Riff Raff from the planet Transsexual had cheered me up.
` Immediately, I had this compulsion to distract myself by donning the shirt I'd been wearing in the previous post and putting on some nice, stinky hair gel in an attempt to make myself feel different than usual and possibly more person-like. I was all like; "'Sup?" (Notice how swollen my face was!)


` What possessed me to put nasty, disgusting, stinky hair gel on my own head beats me, considering that - after a two year search - I had happened upon some nice, completely odorless aloe gel the day before.
` Well, that's early-morning forgetfulness for ya.
` After dashing out to Safeway in the intense sunlight, I jogged back as fast as one can with a string bag of groceries on one's back due to my mounting tension headache, probably caused by constantly being able to smell the hair gel. Immediately, I put away the groceries, loaded up the bathtub with dishes, hopped in and rinsed that crud out!

` Then, Lou and I were running around a bunch, doing chores and getting things taken care of in time for... the gig, thanks to 'LeRoy', who happens to be one of the Under The Influence guys. B-Dizzle was coming along, if mostly to be my bodyguard against all the scary, possibly horny hillbillies.
` ...See, I was wearing these pants that demonstrated my gappines... er... nevermind. Anyway, Lou drove us all the way to Bubba's Road Monkey Trap or wherever, which is in Sultan. It was full of rednecks, and the stage was (strangely) dominated by those crazy hip-hoppers - 'Green', 'Lion' and all - whose performance was almost entirely pre-recorded and not at all interesting.
` Especially to the rednecks. ...I myself was more attentive to this big-screen T.V., which had a really horrible Stephen King movie where this comet tail makes these trucks and things come alive and kill people.

` When it was Lou's time to play the Dobro (with his frickin' cast still on!), he didn't even get a sound check! People could hear him singing, but they couldn't hear his guitar! I remember saying to some people sitting next to me; "He's my boyfriend," and they were like, "Woo. You got a winner."
` After the first song, we got Green to turn up the guitar mic to audible levels, though by that time nobody was paying any attention except for the people in the first row who had been able to hear the first song.
` It all went rather badly, and as he made his exit... well, I think this picture says it all:

` ...Especially because I've written on it.
` Yeah.
` Out back by the fire pit, a few people came out to admit to Lou that they did like his music but were afraid to make any indications because of the other, disapproving monkeys.
` Yes, really!
` There was also some guy with a skull mask who came up to the fence, claiming that he was this famous guy called Neeko, talking all this bullshit, saying he knew Dr. Dre and all that. The hillbillies didn't like him at all.

` Once home, I had a quite troubled sleep of horror and chickens and awoke the next morning in a cold sweat next to a warm Lou Ryan.

` This time I didn't have much to do (except womanhandle Lou) until B-Dizzle brought over his friend and her little daughter, So-So, who I then attempted to entertain. I played some piano as she galumphed around on the rug. Then I started joking with her - she was shy and barely took her fingers out of her mouth, so I said; "Hey, are those fingers yummy?" and she started laughing.
` A bit later, Lou and I did a duet on the piano, and then had So-So - who's about three and a half right now - try out her skills. We think she would have sounded alright if she had just pressed down forcefully enough on the keys to produce sound.
` After they had left, I slid my way under the sunlight on foot to QFC (pronounced 'Qufk') and was surprised to find that it was so quiet I could hear the "Aur, aur, aur!" of the sea lions, the song of unseen birds and even the beak of a crow as it snapped shut on an insect in midair.
` I also noticed that there didn't seem to be a trace of haze, and was absolutely stunned to look over the rooftops to see each and every detail of Baker, Pilchuck and all the foothills! I could see each rock, glacier and burned patch just as clearly as if I were only a few miles away.
` I'm tellin' ya, everything on that walk seemed so...
close!
` I even took a picture of the clearness when I'd gotten back, but since it's a Crappy Digital Camera, it really did not do much justice. (Though you can see the difference from the last picture.)

` Darn.
` What else has happened of interest? Well, we went to the laundromat to dry our laundry and found it had closed on us! The owner let us put it in dryers before we left, so I'm going to have to go down and get them tomorrow morning. I swear, he used to be open 'til nine....

` In other news, I am now spackling the living room. Wheee!

6 comments:

locomocos said...

i like the riff raff shirt, and i like your boyfriend's guitar even better!

Too bad his show didn't go well! boo to everyone NOT in the front row!

so you can hear sea lions near your house? i'm so jealous! all i can hear is my neighbor mowing her lawn with an electric mower at 11 pm.
You are one lucky lady....

p.s.
i LOVE your photos and am SAD they got deleted!
boo!!!

Spoony Quine said...

` Every time a photo gets destroyed, a demon gets its wings.

` I recommend living on some coast or another - then you will always be reminded of the sea lions from their constant barking, though you barely ever see them. ...Which is why I call them 'invisible sea puppies'.

` Cereally, I can never see them! Their voices carry really far because no matter where I am in Everett, as long as it's quiet enough I can hear this barking from somewhere north of the Naval Base - even when I'm across the water!
` It's weird... it sounds like they're right there, but they're not!

Anonymous said...

Gee, this was kind of a mundane post. Your creativity levels seem to be awfully low. You sure you're alright?

I take it you got your clothes back, also.

Spoony Quine said...

` I actually agree - being depressed, I wasn't the most enthusiastic with this kind of post.

` And yes, my laundry is safe and sound.

Spoony Quine said...

` You're such a sweetie!

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